Dealing with those goals things..

Even though my "organizational" goals are pretty humdrum, they do seem to be a humdrum that is common to most people.  Therefore, they may be worth discussing a bit.

Goal #1 for 2011:
"To get back to my Weight Watchers goal weight and maintain it - I am 10 lbs over right now (yikes!)."

My journey with Weight Watchers has been humbling for me.  After having four children in 6 1/2 years - all in my 30s, I might add - I was putting on some "mom weight".  I was not overweight - still within WW guidelines for a healthy weight for my height (just barely, though).  So, I joined WW in April of 2008, and was very gung ho.  The weight just dropped off.  I threw myself into it.  I had had gestational diabetes with three of my pregnancies, so I was familiar with planning meals, counting starches, fats, etc.  Weight Watchers is MUCH less restrictive than the diabetes diet I was on.  My goal was to get to 140.  I was at 152.  Not a huge loss, but honestly, I did not think I could do it.

I really, really, really like to eat. 

Anyway, I started losing and just kept going.  I got down to - get this - 125.  A skinny size 6.  And boy, did I feel good about myself!

I maintained that for about a year, and then suddenly....well, I am not going to go into a lot of detail, but let's just say the changing hormone age hit me early and with a vengenance.  And in one month I gained 5 lbs.  THAT is discouraging!  The next month I gained a few more.  Then I reached the "what's the use!" stage and practiced the program sort of half-heartedly for the next year.  I eat basically healthy, I usually track what I eat, etc., etc.  But I quit going to the meetings.  I know my portion sizes started creeping up again, and the ability to only have one cookie seemed to evaporate. 

So right now, I am 11 lbs over goal - almost back where I started.  I feel differently now, though, than I did three years ago.  In 2008 I felt FAT.  I felt dumpy, and dull.  I don't feel that way now.  I'd still definitely like to get back to my goal of 140, but I do not want to get back down to 125 again.  I gave away all my 6's and told my friends that if I ever get that thin again it will be due to a wasting disease and I am just going to wear sweats in that situation!  But basically, I feel good about myself.  I know I've blogged before about turning 45, aging gracefully, and all that, so I am not going there again.  My main focus is to get back to eating healthier.  Now, by "healthier" I go with the idea of being "healthy enough".  I get my daily requirements of fruits and veggies, protein, dairy and healthy oils.  I take my vitamin supplement.  I try to eat my daily requirements before I eat goodies.  And I am limiting my sweets and fried foods.  But I am limiting them - not eliminating them.  That is one of the reasons I like WW so much - nothing is forbidden, but you have to think about the point value of say, a biscuit as compared to...well, just about anything else!  Think about whether to have seconds on country fried steak.  Balancing out each day.  Be aware of portion sizes.  Eat when I am hungry, not just because something is there. 

It is harder now than even a couple years ago.  And since I had my children "late" we are still in the kid stage - lots of activities that involve going out.  We also really enjoying fellowshipping with others, and that always seems to include a meal.  I won't give that up.  I want to enjoy eating, and enjoy fellowshipping, and I refuse to be one of those people who picks apart all the food at a potluck.  And, if I go to the WW meetings, and stick with the program, little by little I will get back to my goal weight.  But the focus is on being "healthy enough" - not obsessing over my food, my weight, my size - getting enough exercise, being active, being able to work and play and serve and enjoy life.  That doesn't seem like it should be too hard!