Saturday Morning on the Homestead

It is a beautiful morning here.  Couldn't be better.  Except for me and my failings.  Sniff.

This week, after having done (imho) so well with my diabetes control....fell off the wagon.  I have found that as long as I exercise almost every day, I can eat a bit of sweets and not have it affect my blood sugar levels much.  All has been going well.  And then this week.....no exercise. No Wii Fit, one time on the treadmill, much hanging around the house.  And no cutting back on the carbs to correspond with my lack of exercise.  So, last week my fasting numbers were in the 104-111 range, the last few days they have been 126, 128,124, and we won the prize today with 130!

So, I got off my butt, slid the Wii board out from under the loveseat, and ran/stepped/boxed with my Mii.

Are Wii and Mii supposed to be capitalized???

Anyway, here is my strange dichotomy.  I have done great with my Bible study this week.  Got up every day and really studied and wrote.  I am using a new way I learned last weekend at True Woman 2012.  Priscilla Shirer gave a teaching on the 5 Ps of Bible Study (Pore over it, Ponder it, Paraphrase, Pull out the spiritual principles, Plan obedience) that has revolutionized my time in the Word.  It is supposed to be 10-15 minutes,  1-2 verses a day.  Of course, I get carried away and spend about 30 minutes, then I text what I wrote to my friend Julie who was with me.  I am in James, she began with Titus.

But......by the time I get done it is time to feed the cats, get the kids up, they want breakfast...then we start school, with our family Bible study and prayer time.  The next break I have is at lunch, and I want to a)eat and b)read.  Afternoon is spent finishing school, housework, laundry, working on stuff for our business (the accounting never ends!), besides the myriad of other things to do - then fix dinner.  After dinner, finish folding laundry, read science for the co-op I teach, bedtime reading, get my own shower in...and I am done, it is 10:30 and all I want to do is check my email, play Words with Friends, and read three pages before I fall asleep.

Obviously, this system needs some tweaking.  But, it is all a growing process, and overall, things are going well.

So, if you think about it, pray for me, that I will keep it simple, that I will keep my focus on my priorities, and that I will seek wisdom from the Lord in every aspect of my life.

And here, a few pictures of autumn on the homestead:

The garden, still lush-looking, but settling down for the fall.  Nevin replaced the wildflowers with mums.  The huge green plants to the left-center are sweet potatoes.  This is our first year with them.  Queen Esther is front-right.  

Hunter the Tomcat in his tree.  He is just a little over a year old, and has turned into a beautiful  fellow.  

Where Do Your Affections Lie?

We are blessed to have some excellent, thought-provoking sermons Rockport Baptist Church.  A few weeks ago, one of our elders-in-training (yes, elders and deacons go through a time of "testing" here, they don't just get the job because they are related to someone, or friends with someone, or tithe big, but I digress.....) Tim Dickmann delivered a sermon titled Seeking Christ.  The text for the sermon is Colossians 3:1-4,
3:1 Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. 3 For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.

I have listened to this several times, and have pondered it over the last month.  


Am I setting my mind on the things above, instead of the things of the earth?  Am I engrossed in seeking Christ?  Above all else?

Where do my affections lie?  Our affections for the world diminish our affections for Christ.  Likewise, our affections for Christ will diminish our affection for the things of this world.

Where are my affections?  Do I do a bit of Bible study in the morning and then figure I've taken care of that for the day?  Go to church on Sunday and think that I've done my job and that should tide me over until next week?

No, a thousand times no.  I want my day to be filled with seeking Christ, in all that I do.  I want my affections to be for Him alone- my husband, the children, the work (even the schoolwork) can all wait - they must be put in their place. If something else is taking the place that Christ is to have in my life then I need to be violent with that, and remove it.  Lest someone misunderstand- does that mean that I should sit in my chair with my Bible all day, while my house falls apart, my husband is neglected and my children starve?  Of course not.  But it means that my desire is for Christ and that as I go about my day, I serve in order to glorify him.  My love and care for my family is to be a reflection of my love for Christ.  Without  Christ, I am unable to truly love them.  

This ties in with some of my ponderings the last few weeks about Martha.  You know Martha.  Overworked, trying to make a perfect dinner party, while Mary sits around.  Poor Martha.  I have always thought that Martha got a bum rap.

But wait - what is this - 

Luke 10:40-42

40 But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; 42 but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

Christ was not chastising her for making dinner, or even for complaining.  But Martha was distracted.  Distracted - to have her mind stirred up or confused with conflicting emotions or motives. 

Her busyness, her projects, her worldly ambitions - these things distracted her from the one thing that is necessary - Christ.  

Can I say I love Christ if I do not sit at His feet?  Or care for His word?  If I do not spend time with him?  If I do not seek to obey, honor and glorify him in all things?  If I don't show love for the brethren?   I don't want to be distracted, I don't want my affections to be diminished by a love of this world.

 All things to ponder.

If you want to hear this wonderful preaching, here is the link:

http://www.sermonaudio.com/source_detail.asp?sourceid=rockportbaptist

What's In a Name?

Like everything else with me, there is a story behind the name of my blog.  You ready?

I had what I called "trust issues" with God.  I know now a big part of that was that I thought I was saved for years, lived an unregenerate life, and wondered how come I had so many problems.  Even after the Lord saved me in 1993, it took years for me to understand His grace, and what He had done.  It took years for my pride to finally be demolished enough for me to understand that it was nothing I did - not that walk down the aisle, not the baptism, not even the re-dedications.  None of that mattered, those were all my own work, trying by the force of my will to be good.  And not good to be pleasing to God, but good so that my life would be easier, and maybe for the admiration of man as well.  But, I could not live like a Christian because I was not one.  I was not saved.  A little aisle walking after an emotional experience does not equate salvation.  Salvation is a work of the Lord, who brings a person dead in their sins to life.  How can a dead man decide to come to life? 

It actually wasn't until a little over a year ago (5/30/11, actually), sitting in the pew at Rockport Baptist Church (as a visitor, even), holding the cup during the Lord's Supper that it finally hit me, the things that had been starting to come together over the last few years, and had begun to explode in my mind and heart that spring.  The Lord opened my eyes to the work He had done, and when he did it.  And that all my years of trying to make myself good enough, and worthy enough, of praying during Lord's Supper and gripping that little cup so tightly, "getting right with God" was of no avail.  I am not good enough on my own.  My righteousness comes from Christ alone.

But I digress.

About 2005 or so I got involved in a homeschool forum, Sonlight.  On that forum, you had to have a username, of course.  People had very descriptive names, and I wanted one that described me and my walk.  So, I became Learning To Trust.  LTT, to my friends in Lifelong Learners and Bibliovores.  That is where I was - I was learning to trust God.  I was starting to explore WHY I believed what I believed, and study scripture to see what it actually said in context, and not what some cherry-picked verses in a Sunday School quarterly said.   I learned from all kinds of apologists - Roman Catholic, especially.  Can I say something here about those Roman Catholic women?  I know that sometimes RCs get a bad rap about not knowing their Bibles, but I have to tell you, these ladies who had converted to RC as adults knew their Bibles and their church doctrine frontwards and backwards.  I don't agree with them, but I would never disparage their scholarship, they are head and shoulders above me.  But I am gaining...!  Anyway, it was at this time that I was also introduced to the Doctrines of Grace, and begun studying as much as I could. 

So, long story (I said it would be, didn't I?) that brings us to now, today.  I am no longer Learning to Trust.  I have learned to trust.  I am learning more about God and His plans each day, about the incredible work He has done, and this amazing Bible He gave us.  I see more and more each day His hand in my life, and the life of those around me.  And I see so clearly what I was saved out of. 

So, now I trust.  Perhaps this should be called "Learning About God" or "Trying to Understand God" because my understanding falls so short.  But right now, I am so filled with gratitude.  I have a life that was redeemed by the sacrifice of Christ.  He has saved me.  He has forgiven me.  Not of my own works, but through his kind mercy.  And I want anything I do, even this little blog, to always reflect that gratitude.

Redeemed how I love to proclaim it, redeemed by the blood of the Lamb!

By this shall all men know

Continue on with the Heart Preparation questions for the Rockport Baptist Church Grace Camp Meeting:


"By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love to one another. John 13:35"

Are you secretly pleased over the misfortunes of others?

That sounds so horrible - but yes, I have been happy to see someone "get what they deserve".  Sometimes this is righteous, I guess - glad to see a murderer get his due punishment, for example.  I don't think that is what this means, though.

What about less "extenuating" circumstances - like, being happy to see someone get their comeuppance?  I know I have been guilty of this.  Don't we love to see a braggart fall flat on their face, the person who acts superior make a fool of themselves?  How the demons laugh in delight when we take such an attitude!

Are you secretly annoyed over the accomplishments or advancements of another?

No, not really.  I may be a little envious at times, but I am usually pretty honest with myself.  I can recognize their hard work over my lack of it.

I may get annoyed if they harp on it, but that goes back to the first question!
Are you guilty of any contention or strife?

We discussed this last summer in the family Bible study we attend on Wednesday nights. 

"There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among the brothers." Proverbs 6:16-19 (Emphasis added).

The Lord equates those who sow discord among the brothers with those who shed innocent blood.  Fighting in the church, gossip campaigns, deliberate snubs - oh how we must grieve our God.  There is no wiggle room in here.  These are the things God hates - an abomination.  Not things that annoy him, or may make you lose a little luster on your crown.  An abomination.  Look up "abomination" in your concordance and do a word study, and cross-reference some verses.  See how the Holy God looks upon our after-church conversations. 

I try not to be guilty of this - I know I have a tendency to grouse and criticize, but not as much as I used to.  The Holy Spirit has given me a few (okay, several) slaps upside the head and laid my sin out before me to where I cannot deny or excuse it.  I try to stay out of other peoples' arguments, too.  How many times can we get sucked into sin by someone else?  We need to be aware of that , and also be aware of how our own sin can suck someone else in. 

Do you quarrel, argue, or engage in heated discussions?

Boy, there is one.  I have been known to get in some very heated discussions.  I love to talk about history, politics, doctrine and theology.  That is like the classic brew for heated discussions.  And let's be honest, we can couch that sort of thing in "discussion" all day long, but it is arguing.  Like telling our kids that Mom and Dad are having a very loud discussion.  Yeah, right - and whose kids fall for that? 

I have had to really back down and think about what things are worth fighting over - and really, there are very few.  And so often, I can say that I am just trying to teach someone, or help them out of error, but really?  I like to win.  I hate to leave a fight (and that is what it is) without getting in the last word because then it may appear that I have conceded.  Oh Lord, to get back the hours I have spent online arguing, with my Bible in my lap, while my sons have been plunked down in front the the tv or wii.  What screwed up priorities.

Are you a partaker in any division or party spirit?

I am going to go with "no" on this one.  Having been a member of a church that went through a split a few years ago, I got to witness first-hand what went on - all in God's name, of course.   I felt like one day I was pulled into this group, the next siding with the other - it seemed to consume every conversation I had with friends and with my husband.  I have learned my lesson.

Are there people whom you deliberately slight?

A couple names popped into my head immediately, so I guess it must be true.  Let's be honest - there are some people who can suck the life out of you, can drain you emotionally.  I have found myself trying to be kind, but also trying to keep some distance.  I don't know how I can frame that as "compassion" so let's not even try.  I don't think this is talking about people that really aggravate you (sandpaper people) and avoiding them - I think this is really about looking at others and thinking you are somehow superior to them.  Maybe you've made better choices in life, you hang with a cooler clique, they don't get your jokes - whatever.  I think to define "slight" we could say....if they call, do you try to get off the phone really quickly?  If the only open seat at the fellowship is next to her, will you sit in it?  Do you deliberately not include them?  Do you dismiss them when they speak to you?  Have you judged them and found them unworthy?

"Why do you pass judgment on your brother?  Or you, why do you despise your brother?  For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written,
As I live, says the Lord, every knee
shall bow to me,
and every tongue shall confess
to God.
So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God."
Romans 14: 10-12

There are times to make a righteous judgment on sin - we are called to observe the fruit in our brothers' lives, and to encourage and rebuke.  But we are not to judge them simply on whether or not they meet up to OUR own (sinful, personal, worldly) standards. 

A lot to think about on this Sabbath day.  I am home with a sick son, missing the last gathering of our Grace Camp Meeting.  I miss this gathering of the saints, it has been an incredible time of worship.  But maybe it is good, too, to have this time alone, to pull back a bit and examine my own heart.  We all need that.

Goal #3 from "the list"

#3.  Follow through with my Bible reading plan.

I have always done pretty well with having a time each day to spend in scripture.  Sometimes I will go for periods where it is a lot of time, getting into some serious study.  Others, it may be just a few chapters.  I have always had the goal - and never accomplished it - of reading through the Bible in a year.  I have tried various formulas and schedules, have tried using chronological Bibles, etc.  I tend to get hung up around Leviticus, then at Job and the minor prophets. 

This year, I am using the reading plan listed in the daily readings from  Table Talk. 




I started reading older copies of this last year that were set out on the table at church, and really enjoyed it.  We have our OWN subscription this year.  I am going to read the devotional study each day, and the chapters.  It also includes some chapters and verses for further study, and I try to get those in each day, too.  I like this because it goes through books of the Bible verse by verse, as opposed to being topical. 

I have tried to do group or "organized" Bible studies in the past, and usually don't finish them.  I have attempted various Beth Moore studies, and even Experiencing God.  I find that I make it to the class, and I get a good start on the homework, but I just cannot get the 30-45 minutes worth of homework done each day.  I really don't care for the flipping through the Bible, looking up verses and filling-in-the-blanks approach.  So I get behind, then I have too much to finish....and then I don't get it done.  Just the way my mind works, I guess!

When I find a topic that really interests me, say, baptism, I will look up all the scripture I can find on it, then I will often look up a few websites for their perspective, then move on to some Church history.  I always want to know WHO did WHAT and WHEN.  When did certain practices of the Church come into existence?  Who made that decision, and based on what scripture?  I find that helps me clarify in my own mind whether some doctrine is from scripture or added through mans' tradition. 

And I just really like to study history.

This is the Bible that I have been using for study for the last few years:



and I also like to use this Bible dictionary, which was recommended by a pastor:



So, I tend to go in different directions at times, reading on a subject, chasing some rabbit trails through history and modern commentary. 

I think however you decide to study is fine, I just want to encourage everyone to spend some time in the Word each and every day.

Advent and the Christmas Season

This week we have started Advent.  Well, technically, since I did not have my candles Sunday, we are starting it tonight, but that is okay!  I am not using the traditional colors of pink and purple - I just like white and red, and the meaning is still the same.  Tonight, and then for the next three Sundays before Christmas we will do Bible readings and light the next candle, as we await the birth of the Messiah.
 
We will be using the book Advent Foretold for our devotions this year.  There are 25 devotions, starting on December 1, pertaining to the prophecies of the coming Messiah.  I have had this for a few years, but it was over the younger boys' heads.  I think it will work well for us this year.  You can find a link to this book on my Shelfari bookshelf (look to your right).
 
We are doing old and some new traditions this year.  The last few years I have set up the nativity scene before the rest of the decorations - I don't like to put up our tree until mid-December.  I set the stable and the animals in one place, the shepherds nearby but in another room, Mary and Joseph far away, the angel and the Christ Child are hidden, and the Wise Men are a long way off.  Then, each Sunday, everyone gets a little closer, until Christmas Eve after everyone is in bed I put them all in the stable.  The Wise Men don't show up until Epiphany (January 6).  I think this helps to illustrate the waiting period and lead to more anticipation.  I plan to bake a cake for Epiphany this year.  I did one a few years ago, in the traditional gold, green and purple.  The boys are finally getting old enough that we can learn about these things and have them have some meaning, beyond how much fun it is to eat green, gold and purple icing. 
 
This year I am also planning to celebrate St. Nicholas Day (December 6).  We don't "do" Santa Claus.  The boys know who the character of Santa is, of course, but we have just treated him like a cartoon figure - they don't think of the Jolly Elf as any more real than Thomas the Tank Engine.  They have always known where their gifts really came from.  However, St. Nicholas was a real person, who lived in the 4th century and was well-known for his love and generosity.  The boys have heard this true story from the time they were little.  I have no problem teaching them about and celebrating St. Nicholas Day, just as I would teach them about Washington and Lincoln on President's Day (and maybe have a cherry pie then!).  This year I am going to set up my St. Nicholas decorations (and maybe buy a few more) on December 5, before I set out anything else beside the Advent wreath.  I am also going to hang their stockings,  Then, on December 6 they will have some traditional treats (gold coins, gingerbread, etc.) in their stocking, and we will read the story of St. Nicholas and remember this Christian man. 
 
And you can log that as "history", for you homeschoolers out there!
 
I am considering St. Lucia Day, a Swedish tradition, but I am not quite sure how to do a wreath with candles on my head and not having my AquaNet go up like a fireball, so that one may have to wait until next year....

KILL ANGER BEFORE IT KILLS YOU OR YOUR MARRIAGE

This devotion is from John Piper's book Life As A Vapor.  I think we all deal with anger at some point - I was very convicted of this not only in how I should deal with those who make me angy, but in looking at those things that I may be (am!) doing to cause anger in others.  So often I think it is easy for us as Christians to hear these verses, and then turn our focus on to that "sandpaper" person who rubs us the wrong way.  But oftentimes we can forget (or choose to ignore) that we are ourselves sandpaper to someone else.
Paula


In marriage, anger rivals lust as a killer. My guess is that anger is a worse enemy than lust. It also destroys other kinds of camaraderie. Some people have more anger than they think, because it has disguises. When willpower hinders rage, anger smolders beneath the surface, and the teeth of the soul grind with frustration.

It can come out in tears that look more like hurt. But the heart has learned that this may be the only way to hurt back. It may come out as silence because we have resolved not to fight. It may show up in picky criticism and relentless correction. It may strike out at persons that have nothing to do with its origin. It will often feel warranted by how wrongly it has been treated. After all, Jesus got angry (Mark 3:5) and Paul says, Be angry and do not sin” (Eph. 4:26).
However, good anger among fallen people is rare. That’s why James says, “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God require” (James 1:19-20). And Paul says, “Men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling” (1 Timothy 2:8). “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you” (Eph. 4:31).

Therefore, one of the greatest battles of life is the battle to “put away anger,” not just control its expressions. In invite you to join me in this battle by adding these nine biblical weapons to your arsenal.

1. Ponder the right of Christ to be angry, by how He endured the cross, as an example of long-suffering. “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you. Leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.” (1 Pet. 2:21).

2. ponder how much you have been forgiven, and how much mercy you have been shown. “Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (E[h 4:32).

3. Ponder your own sinfulness and take the beam out of your own eye. “Why do you see the speck that is in your bother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’, when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matt 7:3-5).

4. Ponder how harbored anger gives place to the devil. You do not want to make room for him or invite him into your life, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil” (Eph 4:26-27).

5. Ponder the folly of your own self-immolation, that is, the numerous de4trimental effects of anger to the one who is angry- some spiritual, some mental, some physical, and some relations. “Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD , and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones” (Prov 3:7-8).

6. Confess your sin of anger to some trusted friend, and if possible, to the offender. This is a great healing act. “therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16).

7. Let you anger be the key to unlock the dungeons of pride and self-pity in your heart and replace them with love. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy of boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Cor 13:4-7).

8. Remember that God is going to work all your frustrating circumstances for your good as you trust in His future grace. Your offender is even doing you good, if you will respond with love. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). “count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:2-4).

9. Remember that God will vindicate your just cause and settle all accounts better than you could. Either your offender will pay in hell, or Christ has paid for him. Your payback would be either double jeopardy or an offense the cross. (emphasis added by Paula). “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord’” (Romans 12:19). “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting (his cause) to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23).

Father, I love Your patience toward me. I love it when You describe Yourself as slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

Oh, to be more like You!

Have mercy on my easily angered heart!

Forgive my many peeves and murmuring.

Grant that I would be saturated with grace, and let me show it to others as I desperately need it for myself.

Because of Jesus,

Amen