Can You Be Grateful All Month Long?

November is always the Thanksgiving month, the gratitude, the thankful month.  A whole month of gratitude?  We should certainly be grateful every single day for our blessings. But (always that "but") - how often do I find myself ungrateful, or grumbling, or complaining?  Any is too often.  Whatever is in the Believer's life is there because the Lord has allowed it.  All the Lord does is good.  He is sovereign, He is all-knowing.  For me, sinful and with extremely limited knowledge to complain or grumble about what he has given me is..well, it is ludicrous!

I just looked in my concordance for verses on thanks, thanksgiving, and all forms of blessings.  Way too many to list - that can be your project for today - look up a few of those verses and meditate on them!  It is going to be mine.

If we are to give thanks always, maybe focusing on it every day -through this little blog- could be a way to start.  To get in practice, as it were.

And I am already three days behind!

I can start off with gratitude to my Lord, Jesus Christ, for my salvation.  Here is a section of Psalm I read a few weeks ago that has plastered itself to my heart:
Some were fools through their sinful ways,
and because of their iniquities suffered affliction;
they loathed any kind of food,
and they drew near to the gates of death.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He sent out his word and healed them,
and delivered them from their destruction.
Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man.
And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving,
and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!
Psalm 107:17-22

That was me, dying and miserable in my sin, and the Lord reached down and softened this hard heart of stone, gave me a heart of flesh that I could have faith in Him.  He saved me, plain and simple.  Through no works of mine (so I can't boast!) but strictly by His mercy.

Day 2, for my wonderful family - Nevin and the guys.  I never dreamed of the life I would have, and some days I just wake up amazed at what the Lord has done.  This life is not perfect in the sense that the world uses - often the work is hard, the money is tight, and sometimes people just plain get on my nerves.  But, this is where God has put me, and even on days where I am struggling, I stop and realize that this blessing, this family, is so much more than I ever thought possible.


Monday was our 18th anniversary. Some years have been harder than others, but it has always been an adventure.  When I married Nevin I was one who never thought "outside the box".  I would have bought a newer house, with the income from my 8-5 job (where you got a regular paycheck with benefits), had 1.6 children, and done all the things you are just supposed to do.  Nevin not only thinks outside the box, I don't know if he'd recognize a box if he met it.  He was self-employed when I met him, and except for a brief foray into regular employment (because he knew I really wanted him to get a regular job, I think) he has always been.  He has gutted a very old house and made it our home, then he built this house in the middle of a forest.  He built a business, and then convinced me to leave my regular job and work with him.  Live in the forest, own a business, homeschool the kids, raise chickens, process your own deer meat....crazy, I know.  But here we are.  Anything is possible, and there are opportunities everywhere.  

He is deer hunting this weekend, so maybe absence makes the heart fonder!  But truly, I am so grateful for the husband God gave me, how he follows the Lord and leads us.

And for today.....grateful that I am almost done grading lab reports for my science co-op!  And so very grateful to see that they seem to be getting it, in spite of the somewhat haphazard instruction they are getting.

So, today, start practicing daily gratitude - let's do it together!  After a month, hopefully it will be instant and automatic!

Support Comes From All Around Me

Last night I attended my first Diabetes Support group.  It was pretty much what I expected, though it was more of a "class" and less "discussion" oriented. It was very similar to the sort of teaching I am getting from Joan, my Diabetes Instructor from Kick Diabetes - St. Louis.  We had a workbook of scenarios, dealing with nutrition, medication, feelings, exercise, etc. and had to get into pairs, read the "word problem" and then answer questions about what we thought the person needed to do.  My partner and I had "hypoglycemia", which is low blood sugar.  I have not experienced this in my brief diabetes journey, and my partner was a nurse who was observing the class as part of her continuing education.  So.....I think we did pretty well, but I did note that our information was strictly theoretical.

I keep thinking I am outside of the norm for Type 2.  Joan told me I was "the skinniest newly-diagnosed Type 2" she'd ever met (bless her!!) and last night I was definitely the youngest person in the room.  Maybe not by much, but the next youngest were in their 50s with grandchildren, and there were a lot of ladies my moms' age.  Everyone was very welcoming, and I do plan to go back.  Next month we are meeting at Schnucks and then going through the store and learning how to shop.  My initial thought was, "I am NOT doing this!  And I already know how to read labels."  But you know what - I need to do this.  I thought I knew how to read labels and Joan showed me some things I didn't know.

I see it as a defect of character that I always think I already know so much.  When I went to Weight Watchers four years ago I thought I already knew it because I had had gestational diabetes three times and had to learn to do meal plans, food journals, read labels, etc.  Now I think I know it all from the incredible combined knowledge of that and Weight Watchers.  And you know what?  A lot of what I "know" is wrong.  Or has changed.  Nutrition science moves forward, constantly.  The things I learned about food exchanges in 1998 when I had my first son are not the same as they are now.

Be Teachable - that is a good theme for life.

Yesterday I got a letter from a Christian sister who is in prison.  I will give more info later when I have time, but for now, just know that Michelle is saved, and she is leading Bible studies and ministries within the confines of a womens' state penitentiary.  The Big House, as it were, not one of the little jails.

It would be very easy for me, as a good church woman (and deacon's wife, have I mentioned that? Don't forget I used to teach Sunday School, too) to feel that my years of church experience and Bible exposure put me in the position of being somehow "more" Christian than this lady who is a fairly recent convert, and btw, is in jail.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.  This lady is a spiritual giant, standing next to my puny faith.  Yesterday I was grumping about, basically having a few extremely minor things not go my way.  Then I get this, my first letter from Michelle.  I had written her a month or so ago, sent a few pictures from the garden (the frog and butterfly over to the right, there) and a couple pictures the little guys colored.

She blows me away.  She made me a card, with the inscription:

Jesus Is:
The light that is Brightest
the word that is Surest
the peace that is Calmest
the counselor that is Truest
the friend that is Nearest
the companion that is Dearest

And this is part of the letter:
"God has not only made us alive in Christ, but He has gifted us for His purposes.  His Holy Spirit fills us and we are equipped to do any task He has ordained for us.  Our service to Him must flow out of our joyful praise and adoration of Him.  It must be more than an academic or mechanical theology or knowledge of God.  It much be to God.  W are not merely trophies of God's grace.  Show signs of life!  The born-again nature is FIT to do good works.  How can a light not shine?"

I began to cry as I read this.  This women, sitting in an incredibly dark place, reaches out and ministers to me, whose world is only light right now.  I was ashamed of my attitude, convicted of my sin.  And I have learned.

Keep learning today!

Tuesday Morning on the Homestead

It is so nice - two days in a row I could get up and open the doors to the breeze- and have there actually BE a breeze, not just rolls of heat like an oven full of biscuits!  Praising God for the cooler weather, and especially for the rain we got over the weekend.  My poor, dead yard is starting to come to life again.

Today is (hopefully!) going to be a quiet day at home.  I have laundry to do, things to clean, and need to scoot out and vote this afternoon.  If you have elections in your area, don't forget to vote!  It is a great privilege, one not to be taken for granted.

Yesterday I allowed myself to "stress" - I gave the doctor until 1:30, then I called to check on my test results.  The nurse said that they had them, and that the doctor would call me that afternoon.

Guess who did not get a phone call......and my doctor is leaving today and will be gone (out of the country, I believe) for the rest of this week and all next week.  Hopefully, the other doctor in his practice is picking up the slack and will call me.  On top of just wanting to KNOW, and wanting to PLAN the next stage of my "life with diabetes" (meds, no meds, diet, what???) I need a diagnosis and some of the test results to get scheduled with the KICK Diabetes program. So, basically, I am waiting.....and I hate waiting.  I want to get information, form a plan, and proceed with said plan in a timely fashion- usually in the form of a checklist.

Yesterday I was texting all this angst to my friend Faith.  Here her response to my cries of agony,
"Be still and know that He is GOD, He works all things in His time, trust.  I love you!"

To which I responded,
"I am trying.  I hate having to depend on other people.:

And her sage words,
"You don't.  Just Christ teaching you patience and contentment."

Be still, be patient, be content, wait upon the Lord's timing......I was praying on the treadmill today for God to give me peace.  This is not that big of a deal.  Lots of people have MUCH bigger issues going on right now.  But what I managed to do to myself yesterday was eat a little extra snack and a little less veggie and stress, which raises blood sugars.  So this morning I hop off the treadmill and see that my fasting number is 11 higher than yesterday, and I weigh .2 lbs more (I know I should not weigh every day, but watching the number go down the past two weeks has been nice).  Physical response to spiritual malady.

So....to take my mind off it, I will keep busy, and share a few pictures from our vacation last week.  We were so busy this whole trip that I didn't have time to take many pics.  My inlaws took us, and my sister-in-law and niece to Kansas City on the train last Monday.  We went up Monday morning and got there around 1.  They rented two cars for us (there were ten of us) and we drove to Worlds of Fun/Oceans of Fun.  We got to stay in cabins in the park (really nice, little modulars made up to look like log cabins) and just hung out.  Monday night we spent 6 (count'em 6) hours at Worlds of Fun theme park, then spent all day Tuesday at Oceans of Fun waterpark.  Wednesday evening we took the train home, but not before spending time in the new Lego Discovery Center in Kansas City.  And it was there that my few pics were taken.  I have better ones....somewhere, but here is what my phone can share with you:

Henry and Joe make a new friend

Joe, Henry and Ben building Lego racers.  Ben was easily the tallest person there.  Tony  declined  a visit to Lego-ville, and went to the aquarium with the rest of the family.

This is our souvenir picture.  Okay, this was fun.  We rode through a Lego adventure, and shot  lazer guns.  I did not do so well.  It appears Henry's gun was not activated.

Here is a cute one - Henry and Nora playing in the train station.  A  photographer from the Kansas City Star took this picture while we were waiting to board our train - I copied it off the paper's website.

I wanted to add this close-up, so you could see the focus, the  intensity in our eyes.  Oh yes, we will save the Princess, we will find the jewels, we will shoot the bad guys!!

And that is it for today - enjoy your day, look me up on Pinterest (I will eventually figure out how to put the link on the blog), and don't forget to vote!

Diabetes Update, and other Life Stuff

So, how is the diabetes thing going?  So far, so good, I guess.  I am keeping a food diary, and tracking my carbs, fats and proteins. I wrote up a meal plan, based on what it was when I had gestational diabetes.  I had that three times, so I am way too familiar with monitoring, etc.  I am just writing it down and being aware of portion size, etc. again.  Just like Weight Watchers, only a little easier in some aspects. What is harder, though, is that in WW you can save up your points for megadessert, or have a huge dinner one night with your extra points.  Here, the main thing is to stay regular.  The problem is not that blood sugar goes up (everyones' does) but that it does not come back down.  So if I eat a Big Mac and large fries, it is going to go up, up, up, but it won't come down.  If I eat a regular hamburger and small fries it won't go up so high, so I won't have such a high level over extended time.  I probably won't change a whole lot about how I cook, but it is portion control - if I bake cookies, two small ones, not 8 cookies and a giant glass of milk.  

It is really a shame, because I make such good cookies!

I went to the doctor Friday, and he said for now he calls it Impaired Glucose Tolerance.  On Monday, when he has the rest of my bloodwork back, he will call it Diabetes.   Semantics.  He also said the problems I have been having with my feet are nerve damage from the diabetes (numbness, tingling, feels like needles in them, as if they were "asleep").  Anyway, depending on my numbers from the A1C test (which will give him a weighted average of my blood glucose), I may be just diet-controlled.  I am trying now, and some of my numbers are coming down, but they are still too high.  He said we may start out with oral medications and then see if my numbers go down and wean off it.  He said that should help with my feet, too.  If not, there is a specific med for that, but he doesn't want to start piling on too many meds.

I was also super-blessed in that I have a friend who is a parish nurse, and she referred me to a program call KICK Diabetes.  It is free, part of St. Louis University Medical School and ADA/St. Louis Diabetes Coalition.  It is research on diabetes education, and people with pre- or type 2 diabetes can participate.  You are assigned an educator and you meet four times to go over nutrition/create a meal plan, exercise, monitoring, medications, etc.  You agree to fill out questionnaires when you are done and again at three months.  I think they want to see what role education plays in helping people to manage their diabetes.  I am very excited about this!  Plus, now I will get to go to St. Louis four times and can get in a little shopping!

Financially, this is not as bad as I expected.  I told the doctor I was self-pay, and instead of the $150 office charge, I had to pay $80.  He has his own lab, so my A1C and cholesterol tests together were $18.50.  He said the meds would be generic, too.  I was able to cancel the appointment with a nutritionist ($50) because the KICK Diabetes educator will do the same thing.  And I signed up for discounts for my blood monitoring strips.  

So, the Lord is good, as always.  Sometimes my sinful attitudes keep me from seeing that.  Today, for example.  We had our monthly Fellowship Sunday, aka, crockpot and dessert supreme!  I did really well, small portions of a couple starchy items, larger portions of veggies, small dessert.  Still, last month I would have had a LARGE portion of the chicken potpie (my friend Faith makes THE BEST potpie) and at least two regular servings of dessert.  And probably (syrupy) sweet tea.  And later on today I will hit the treadmill again.  I have been getting on it almost every day.  

August is my month to "organize and simplify" my life.  I have almost nothing except church on the calendar.  This seems like it would be sad, but I am so happy.  I need time to establish some routines of exercise and meals before we jump back into the whirl of school chaos.  I need time to get used to this and order my mind around the new "normal" here.  

As normal as it gets, anyway!

Diabetes, anyone???

So, it looks like I have diabetes.

It has only been a few days and I am already sick of thinking/typing about this.

Here is how it happened......

A few weeks ago I went to a Womens' Health fair for glucose, cholesterol, and a mammogram.  I was particularly interested in having my glucose tested.  I had gestational diabetes with three of my pregnancies, so I knew I had a greatly elevated risk.

My test came back a little high, 153 - should have been 140 or less.  So, I called my ob/gyn and asked him to call in an order to a local lab.  I had a fasting test done there.  That one was really high - 139, should have been between 65-95.  My ob/gyn said this was in the range (over 126 fasting) where diabetes is diagnosed.

So, I immediately went and got a super-cute haircut.  I do have my priorities in line, you know!  Then I went to Breadco with a friend, for salad.

I shared this with her (Shelley) and she got to bless me - she had just bought some file cabinets from a medical supply company and there were several brand new blood/glucose monitoring kits in them.  Yay!!!

So, I have been testing my blood the last few days.  I also sat down (for hours) and read info on diabetes, and picked up the ADA Complete Manual.  Pretty good reading!  I wrote out a meal plan for myself, based on the one I followed when I had gestational diabetes.  And, got back on the dreaded treadmill.  It actually felt....empowering.  My reading after lunch today was within the normal range, so I am hoping that with close monitoring, following the nutritional guidelines and getting exercise I can keep my blood sugar under control.  I have an appointment with my primary care physician and a nutritionist over the next few weeks.

So....this is kind of scary.  I don't get sick, I don't even have any allergies.  And now I have a "chronic condition".  Wow.  I am not even (much) overweight.  Actually, I am 12 pounds over the "healthy" guidelines, so at least by this winter I may be able to get back in my favorite jeans.  I don't smoke, I don't drink, I get enough sleep, I take my vitamins......but yet, there you go.  The Lord is in control, always, and in all things I will rejoice.  Right now, I am rejoicing that I have family support and resources to get medical help, that I don't have a lot of weight to lose, and at least now I know why my feet hurt!

This is going to be interesting, to see how the Lord uses this.