November is always the Thanksgiving month, the gratitude, the thankful month. A whole month of gratitude? We should certainly be grateful every single day for our blessings. But (always that "but") - how often do I find myself ungrateful, or grumbling, or complaining? Any is too often. Whatever is in the Believer's life is there because the Lord has allowed it. All the Lord does is good. He is sovereign, He is all-knowing. For me, sinful and with extremely limited knowledge to complain or grumble about what he has given me is..well, it is ludicrous!
I just looked in my concordance for verses on thanks, thanksgiving, and all forms of blessings. Way too many to list - that can be your project for today - look up a few of those verses and meditate on them! It is going to be mine.
If we are to give thanks always, maybe focusing on it every day -through this little blog- could be a way to start. To get in practice, as it were.
And I am already three days behind!
I can start off with gratitude to my Lord, Jesus Christ, for my salvation. Here is a section of Psalm I read a few weeks ago that has plastered itself to my heart:
Some were fools through their sinful ways,
and because of their iniquities suffered affliction;
they loathed any kind of food,
and they drew near to the gates of death.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He sent out his word and healed them,
and delivered them from their destruction.
Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man.
And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving,
and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!
Psalm 107:17-22
That was me, dying and miserable in my sin, and the Lord reached down and softened this hard heart of stone, gave me a heart of flesh that I could have faith in Him. He saved me, plain and simple. Through no works of mine (so I can't boast!) but strictly by His mercy.
Day 2, for my wonderful family - Nevin and the guys. I never dreamed of the life I would have, and some days I just wake up amazed at what the Lord has done. This life is not perfect in the sense that the world uses - often the work is hard, the money is tight, and sometimes people just plain get on my nerves. But, this is where God has put me, and even on days where I am struggling, I stop and realize that this blessing, this family, is so much more than I ever thought possible.
Monday was our 18th anniversary. Some years have been harder than others, but it has always been an adventure. When I married Nevin I was one who never thought "outside the box". I would have bought a newer house, with the income from my 8-5 job (where you got a regular paycheck with benefits), had 1.6 children, and done all the things you are just supposed to do. Nevin not only thinks outside the box, I don't know if he'd recognize a box if he met it. He was self-employed when I met him, and except for a brief foray into regular employment (because he knew I really wanted him to get a regular job, I think) he has always been. He has gutted a very old house and made it our home, then he built this house in the middle of a forest. He built a business, and then convinced me to leave my regular job and work with him. Live in the forest, own a business, homeschool the kids, raise chickens, process your own deer meat....crazy, I know. But here we are. Anything is possible, and there are opportunities everywhere.
He is deer hunting this weekend, so maybe absence makes the heart fonder! But truly, I am so grateful for the husband God gave me, how he follows the Lord and leads us.
And for today.....grateful that I am almost done grading lab reports for my science co-op! And so very grateful to see that they seem to be getting it, in spite of the somewhat haphazard instruction they are getting.
So, today, start practicing daily gratitude - let's do it together! After a month, hopefully it will be instant and automatic!
Showing posts with label deep thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label deep thoughts. Show all posts
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
To Facebook or Not To Facebook...
I am seriously considering getting back on Facebook.
Yes, I said it.
I have been off for ten months. Have I missed anything in that time? Well, I have missed keeping up with some friends that don't live near me, or that I don't see regularly. That is definitely a loss.
I have also missed out on political one-liners that get on my nerves, seeing parties or outings that I didn't know about, and being irritated with people who put on a fake face for the world to see. That is definitely a gain.
I have gained the time I used to spend looking at Facebook on my phone. If something really exciting happens Nevin or Tony (who are on Facebook) will tell me, anyway.
I thought I would do better at sending emails (maybe even real cards) to those friends I kept in touch with on FB, but it hasn't happened so far.
What to do, what to do.....
Yes, I said it.
I have been off for ten months. Have I missed anything in that time? Well, I have missed keeping up with some friends that don't live near me, or that I don't see regularly. That is definitely a loss.
I have also missed out on political one-liners that get on my nerves, seeing parties or outings that I didn't know about, and being irritated with people who put on a fake face for the world to see. That is definitely a gain.
I have gained the time I used to spend looking at Facebook on my phone. If something really exciting happens Nevin or Tony (who are on Facebook) will tell me, anyway.
I thought I would do better at sending emails (maybe even real cards) to those friends I kept in touch with on FB, but it hasn't happened so far.
What to do, what to do.....
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Support Comes From All Around Me
Last night I attended my first Diabetes Support group. It was pretty much what I expected, though it was more of a "class" and less "discussion" oriented. It was very similar to the sort of teaching I am getting from Joan, my Diabetes Instructor from Kick Diabetes - St. Louis. We had a workbook of scenarios, dealing with nutrition, medication, feelings, exercise, etc. and had to get into pairs, read the "word problem" and then answer questions about what we thought the person needed to do. My partner and I had "hypoglycemia", which is low blood sugar. I have not experienced this in my brief diabetes journey, and my partner was a nurse who was observing the class as part of her continuing education. So.....I think we did pretty well, but I did note that our information was strictly theoretical.
I keep thinking I am outside of the norm for Type 2. Joan told me I was "the skinniest newly-diagnosed Type 2" she'd ever met (bless her!!) and last night I was definitely the youngest person in the room. Maybe not by much, but the next youngest were in their 50s with grandchildren, and there were a lot of ladies my moms' age. Everyone was very welcoming, and I do plan to go back. Next month we are meeting at Schnucks and then going through the store and learning how to shop. My initial thought was, "I am NOT doing this! And I already know how to read labels." But you know what - I need to do this. I thought I knew how to read labels and Joan showed me some things I didn't know.
I see it as a defect of character that I always think I already know so much. When I went to Weight Watchers four years ago I thought I already knew it because I had had gestational diabetes three times and had to learn to do meal plans, food journals, read labels, etc. Now I think I know it all from the incredible combined knowledge of that and Weight Watchers. And you know what? A lot of what I "know" is wrong. Or has changed. Nutrition science moves forward, constantly. The things I learned about food exchanges in 1998 when I had my first son are not the same as they are now.
Be Teachable - that is a good theme for life.
Yesterday I got a letter from a Christian sister who is in prison. I will give more info later when I have time, but for now, just know that Michelle is saved, and she is leading Bible studies and ministries within the confines of a womens' state penitentiary. The Big House, as it were, not one of the little jails.
It would be very easy for me, as a good church woman (and deacon's wife, have I mentioned that? Don't forget I used to teach Sunday School, too) to feel that my years of church experience and Bible exposure put me in the position of being somehow "more" Christian than this lady who is a fairly recent convert, and btw, is in jail.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. This lady is a spiritual giant, standing next to my puny faith. Yesterday I was grumping about, basically having a few extremely minor things not go my way. Then I get this, my first letter from Michelle. I had written her a month or so ago, sent a few pictures from the garden (the frog and butterfly over to the right, there) and a couple pictures the little guys colored.
She blows me away. She made me a card, with the inscription:
Jesus Is:
The light that is Brightest
the word that is Surest
the peace that is Calmest
the counselor that is Truest
the friend that is Nearest
the companion that is Dearest
And this is part of the letter:
"God has not only made us alive in Christ, but He has gifted us for His purposes. His Holy Spirit fills us and we are equipped to do any task He has ordained for us. Our service to Him must flow out of our joyful praise and adoration of Him. It must be more than an academic or mechanical theology or knowledge of God. It much be to God. W are not merely trophies of God's grace. Show signs of life! The born-again nature is FIT to do good works. How can a light not shine?"
I began to cry as I read this. This women, sitting in an incredibly dark place, reaches out and ministers to me, whose world is only light right now. I was ashamed of my attitude, convicted of my sin. And I have learned.
Keep learning today!
I keep thinking I am outside of the norm for Type 2. Joan told me I was "the skinniest newly-diagnosed Type 2" she'd ever met (bless her!!) and last night I was definitely the youngest person in the room. Maybe not by much, but the next youngest were in their 50s with grandchildren, and there were a lot of ladies my moms' age. Everyone was very welcoming, and I do plan to go back. Next month we are meeting at Schnucks and then going through the store and learning how to shop. My initial thought was, "I am NOT doing this! And I already know how to read labels." But you know what - I need to do this. I thought I knew how to read labels and Joan showed me some things I didn't know.
I see it as a defect of character that I always think I already know so much. When I went to Weight Watchers four years ago I thought I already knew it because I had had gestational diabetes three times and had to learn to do meal plans, food journals, read labels, etc. Now I think I know it all from the incredible combined knowledge of that and Weight Watchers. And you know what? A lot of what I "know" is wrong. Or has changed. Nutrition science moves forward, constantly. The things I learned about food exchanges in 1998 when I had my first son are not the same as they are now.
Be Teachable - that is a good theme for life.
Yesterday I got a letter from a Christian sister who is in prison. I will give more info later when I have time, but for now, just know that Michelle is saved, and she is leading Bible studies and ministries within the confines of a womens' state penitentiary. The Big House, as it were, not one of the little jails.
It would be very easy for me, as a good church woman (and deacon's wife, have I mentioned that? Don't forget I used to teach Sunday School, too) to feel that my years of church experience and Bible exposure put me in the position of being somehow "more" Christian than this lady who is a fairly recent convert, and btw, is in jail.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. This lady is a spiritual giant, standing next to my puny faith. Yesterday I was grumping about, basically having a few extremely minor things not go my way. Then I get this, my first letter from Michelle. I had written her a month or so ago, sent a few pictures from the garden (the frog and butterfly over to the right, there) and a couple pictures the little guys colored.
She blows me away. She made me a card, with the inscription:
Jesus Is:
The light that is Brightest
the word that is Surest
the peace that is Calmest
the counselor that is Truest
the friend that is Nearest
the companion that is Dearest
And this is part of the letter:
"God has not only made us alive in Christ, but He has gifted us for His purposes. His Holy Spirit fills us and we are equipped to do any task He has ordained for us. Our service to Him must flow out of our joyful praise and adoration of Him. It must be more than an academic or mechanical theology or knowledge of God. It much be to God. W are not merely trophies of God's grace. Show signs of life! The born-again nature is FIT to do good works. How can a light not shine?"
I began to cry as I read this. This women, sitting in an incredibly dark place, reaches out and ministers to me, whose world is only light right now. I was ashamed of my attitude, convicted of my sin. And I have learned.
Keep learning today!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Thankful Thursday
I love the idea of having a "theme" some days - life on the homestead on Saturday, thankfulness on Thursday. And on this particular Thursday, I have a lot to be thankful for!
First and foremost, thankful for salvation through Christ my Savior. On Sunday mornings our preaching elder is teaching through Ephesians. Probably be a few years! Lord Jesus, thank you that my salvation did not depend on my weak will, for before you saved me, I was dead in my sins and trespasses. How could I choose you? I was dead. A dead man (woman) does not do anything. Thank you that you are sovereign in all things Lord, that even while I was dead in my sins and trespasses and deserving of Hell, you showed mercy.
Here's a little Ephesians, in case you haven't had time to do your Bible reading yet today. Blue notes are my own "amplifications".
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us (he is sovereign!) in him (not in ourselves but in Christ) before the foundation of the world (when?), that we should be holy and blameless (what am I now?) before him. In love he predestined us for adoption (in what?) as sons through Jesus Christ (through who?), according to the purpose of his will (his will!),to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him (in who?) we have redemption through his blood (how are we redeemed?), the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished (lavished, I tell you!) upon us, in all wisdom and insight, making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose (whose purpose?), which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in heaven and on earth.
In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will (his own counsel, he needs no other!), so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory (all is for his glory!). In him you also, when you heard the word of truth,the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit (when you heard the gospel and believed, you were saved, and received the Holy Spirit - right then, right there, not later, not through your own effort) who is the guarantee (promise) of our inheritance (Heaven, eternal life with God!) until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory (all for his glory, ALL for his glory!!)."
Ephesians 1:2-14
Stand up and shout for joy!!!
First and foremost, thankful for salvation through Christ my Savior. On Sunday mornings our preaching elder is teaching through Ephesians. Probably be a few years! Lord Jesus, thank you that my salvation did not depend on my weak will, for before you saved me, I was dead in my sins and trespasses. How could I choose you? I was dead. A dead man (woman) does not do anything. Thank you that you are sovereign in all things Lord, that even while I was dead in my sins and trespasses and deserving of Hell, you showed mercy.
Here's a little Ephesians, in case you haven't had time to do your Bible reading yet today. Blue notes are my own "amplifications".
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us (he is sovereign!) in him (not in ourselves but in Christ) before the foundation of the world (when?), that we should be holy and blameless (what am I now?) before him. In love he predestined us for adoption (in what?) as sons through Jesus Christ (through who?), according to the purpose of his will (his will!),to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him (in who?) we have redemption through his blood (how are we redeemed?), the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished (lavished, I tell you!) upon us, in all wisdom and insight, making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose (whose purpose?), which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in heaven and on earth.
In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will (his own counsel, he needs no other!), so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory (all is for his glory!). In him you also, when you heard the word of truth,the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit (when you heard the gospel and believed, you were saved, and received the Holy Spirit - right then, right there, not later, not through your own effort) who is the guarantee (promise) of our inheritance (Heaven, eternal life with God!) until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory (all for his glory, ALL for his glory!!)."
Ephesians 1:2-14
Stand up and shout for joy!!!
Friday, July 13, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Status Update for July
Right now, I am......
Sitting: At the kitchen table, doing some paperwork for the business, balancing the checkbook and paying bills.
Drinking: My second cup of coffee with Stevia in the Raw and Aldi Fat-free French Vanilla Creamer. It is much better than it sounds. I will have at least one more.
Enjoying: The quiet in the house before they all wander out.
Revamping: All my plans for the school year. At least it is still just in my head and I don't have to erase a lot yet! Also revamping myself mentally for the upcoming year and the new schedule - trying to eliminate a lot of "out of the house" stuff, see how school goes on a year that we stay home a whole lot.
Doing: Today, some laundry, taking the guys to play basketball with friends, then Henry is having a friend spend the night and Tony is going to a friend's to spend the night. May also do some barbecued pork steaks.
Processing: This last weekend. We went to Iowa to visit Nevin's family. Always a nice weekend, no rush, no hurry. A lot of time in the car to think about stuff. God, life, plans for the future. Big stuff. Thinking about how I truly use my time.
Preparing: Not much, I think I am still stuck on processing.
Reading: An ebook I downloaded and printed. I hate printing ebooks, they end up with giant print and 8 1/2x11. But, I hate reading on the computer even more, so there you go. I also started "Converting the West: The Biography of Narcissa Whitman" last night. It is inter-library-loan, so I need to get on it.
Praying: Not much lately. I seem to have lost my focus. I guess praying I will get it back. Lately it seems my relationship with the Lord has been pretty lazy.
Deciding: That I probably need to get dressed and finish paying the bills.
Copying: from Staci at Writing and Living
Sitting: At the kitchen table, doing some paperwork for the business, balancing the checkbook and paying bills.
Drinking: My second cup of coffee with Stevia in the Raw and Aldi Fat-free French Vanilla Creamer. It is much better than it sounds. I will have at least one more.
Enjoying: The quiet in the house before they all wander out.
Revamping: All my plans for the school year. At least it is still just in my head and I don't have to erase a lot yet! Also revamping myself mentally for the upcoming year and the new schedule - trying to eliminate a lot of "out of the house" stuff, see how school goes on a year that we stay home a whole lot.
Doing: Today, some laundry, taking the guys to play basketball with friends, then Henry is having a friend spend the night and Tony is going to a friend's to spend the night. May also do some barbecued pork steaks.
Processing: This last weekend. We went to Iowa to visit Nevin's family. Always a nice weekend, no rush, no hurry. A lot of time in the car to think about stuff. God, life, plans for the future. Big stuff. Thinking about how I truly use my time.
Preparing: Not much, I think I am still stuck on processing.
Reading: An ebook I downloaded and printed. I hate printing ebooks, they end up with giant print and 8 1/2x11. But, I hate reading on the computer even more, so there you go. I also started "Converting the West: The Biography of Narcissa Whitman" last night. It is inter-library-loan, so I need to get on it.
Praying: Not much lately. I seem to have lost my focus. I guess praying I will get it back. Lately it seems my relationship with the Lord has been pretty lazy.
Deciding: That I probably need to get dressed and finish paying the bills.
Copying: from Staci at Writing and Living
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Saturday on the Homestead: What Is Your Passion?
This topic came up on a homeschooling forum this week. One of the moms asked us what our passion is. There were a lot of responses, many of them in the form of different arts, crafts, scrapbooking, that sort of thing.
I like those things (okay, not scrapbooking). I enjoy making beaded jewelry, I like to take pictures, I like to make cards and bookmarks, I used to (B.C. - before children) enjoy counted cross stitch. But these are not passions.
Even reading, believe it or not, is not truly a passion. It is a relaxation, often it is a resource for my passion, but in and of itself, it is not the passion.
My passion is serving. Followed closely by home educating.
Now, lest you think I am all holier-than-thou-or-anyone-else, please hear me out. I don't mean servitude. I mean serving and being able to minister and be hospitable to those around me. It starts with my family, and flows to my church and homeschool group and friends from there. I love to have the kids' friends over, to have other families gather with us, to host a group of ladies for a book discussion or Bible study, or just to hang out. I look forward to fellowships and bringing food, or taking a meal to a family with a new baby. This particular season of life has brought the blessing of having a flexible schedule, to be able to take the time to talk to my boys, to spend time with my husband, to be an ear and heart to other women. My joy is in organizing events for our homeschool group, getting together with the other families, and especially this year, and there is a special love (love, love. love) for our science co-op.
I guess I am passionate about Apologia General Science this year. Thank you, Dr. Wile!
I love getting to talk to the kids, and to try to help reinforce what their moms are doing, to give them a spot to do the "fun" part of science (ie, mix stuff together and see what happens) with each other.
Yesterday I was at the skating rink with all the homeschoolers. I think this is our 8th year of monthly skating at the local rink. The first few years it wasn't hardly worth the owner's time and gas money to open for us - some months only three families showed up! But now, there is a big crowd most months. I get out and skate with the kids, and see all ages, from little guys being pushed around in strollers to high schoolers, watch them all interacting and having fun......and I think, "I did this." And I get such a rush of joy from it. I am not getting into some wild back-patting, but I organized this years ago, it is my baby. And now, it is a well-established monthly event. It did not take much effort, but it took a commitment to be there every.single.month for a few years to help get it going. I think I have maybe missed one or two in the last eight years.
To have a bunch of little guys high-five you at the skating rink, this is joy. To sit on the couch in the morning with my husband and sons, and study God's word together, this is joy. To have four boys have FUN writing crazy stories together, or see them in deep strategic conference as they plan their next air soft war, this is joy. To gather with a bunch of ladies who know each others' hearts so well that we can laugh and cry together, this is joy.
To see a family come walking through our front door carrying a mixing bowl full of cookie dough, and ask if they can bake the cookies here, that was some joy!
So, it would be nice, I suppose, if I could find some great artistic ability, or political cause, or intellectual pursuit. And maybe someday I will. But for now, my passion is here, in my home, in my family, in this community.
And I have found joy.
I like those things (okay, not scrapbooking). I enjoy making beaded jewelry, I like to take pictures, I like to make cards and bookmarks, I used to (B.C. - before children) enjoy counted cross stitch. But these are not passions.
Even reading, believe it or not, is not truly a passion. It is a relaxation, often it is a resource for my passion, but in and of itself, it is not the passion.
My passion is serving. Followed closely by home educating.
Now, lest you think I am all holier-than-thou-or-anyone-else, please hear me out. I don't mean servitude. I mean serving and being able to minister and be hospitable to those around me. It starts with my family, and flows to my church and homeschool group and friends from there. I love to have the kids' friends over, to have other families gather with us, to host a group of ladies for a book discussion or Bible study, or just to hang out. I look forward to fellowships and bringing food, or taking a meal to a family with a new baby. This particular season of life has brought the blessing of having a flexible schedule, to be able to take the time to talk to my boys, to spend time with my husband, to be an ear and heart to other women. My joy is in organizing events for our homeschool group, getting together with the other families, and especially this year, and there is a special love (love, love. love) for our science co-op.
I guess I am passionate about Apologia General Science this year. Thank you, Dr. Wile!
I love getting to talk to the kids, and to try to help reinforce what their moms are doing, to give them a spot to do the "fun" part of science (ie, mix stuff together and see what happens) with each other.
Yesterday I was at the skating rink with all the homeschoolers. I think this is our 8th year of monthly skating at the local rink. The first few years it wasn't hardly worth the owner's time and gas money to open for us - some months only three families showed up! But now, there is a big crowd most months. I get out and skate with the kids, and see all ages, from little guys being pushed around in strollers to high schoolers, watch them all interacting and having fun......and I think, "I did this." And I get such a rush of joy from it. I am not getting into some wild back-patting, but I organized this years ago, it is my baby. And now, it is a well-established monthly event. It did not take much effort, but it took a commitment to be there every.single.month for a few years to help get it going. I think I have maybe missed one or two in the last eight years.
To have a bunch of little guys high-five you at the skating rink, this is joy. To sit on the couch in the morning with my husband and sons, and study God's word together, this is joy. To have four boys have FUN writing crazy stories together, or see them in deep strategic conference as they plan their next air soft war, this is joy. To gather with a bunch of ladies who know each others' hearts so well that we can laugh and cry together, this is joy.
To see a family come walking through our front door carrying a mixing bowl full of cookie dough, and ask if they can bake the cookies here, that was some joy!
So, it would be nice, I suppose, if I could find some great artistic ability, or political cause, or intellectual pursuit. And maybe someday I will. But for now, my passion is here, in my home, in my family, in this community.
And I have found joy.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Good News Bad News
When I was a child, I had a book titled Good News Bad News or something like that. It was a tale of ups and downs - bad news, I fell out of a plane, good news there was a haystack below me, bad news there is a pitchfork in the haystack, good news I missed the pitchfork, bad news I missed the haystack.
That sort of thing.
That is how my morning is going.
Bad news - the man of the house is sick. Again. That poor man has had a rough winter. I think he picks up every bug that floats around church. More bad news - the boys and I were supposed to go to the symphony and zoo today, but I am not comfortable leaving him all day, so we cancelled.
Good news - my friend Angel took the ticket and will take care of herding our crew. Other good news, Grandma and Ben got to go on an outing today that they'd had to cancel yesterday (when Grandma was sick).
Bad news - we are supposed to have our science co-op at my house tomorrow, so if he is still sick, we can't have all those kids here. Good news, one of the other moms said we can have it at her house.
Really good news - my friend Angel (who is a REALLY good friend!) just called and said they won a year family membership to the Creation Museum, but they just went this year. So.....they are blessing us with it. How is that for cool!
Other really good news, actually the very best news of all - The Lord is sovereign. He is in control. I can rest in this. He has provided me a whole, unplanned day to take care of Nevin, and to get some things done around the house. He provides sisters in Christ to step in and help out. He has provided for us that I AM home, so that there is no huge conflict of having to be at work somewhere instead of being able to be here.
Would I prefer that Nevin was not sick, that all our plans for the day (and he had plenty for today, too - one drawback of being self-employed, no calling in sick and someone else taking the work!) were not changed, that I didn't have to erase the list in my planner (it is always in pencil)? Absolutely - especially the part about him being sick. But can I rest knowing that God has it all in the palm of His hand? Yes, most gloriously yes. There is such a peace in knowing this sovereign Lord.
Edited, later that same day....
I wanted to add this text from my friend Cyndi. She said the things I meant to say about God being sovereign, in response to a whiny text from me.
"Concerning joy - I have to constantly remind myself that our omniscient God predetermined all that takes place would happen exactly when it did, as it did and NOTHING could have changed it! And your omnipotent Father will no doubt empower you with all you need for this day! He always does - I know you know that, but it's nice to be reminded!!"
That was what I meant to say. Good news - that the Lord has blessed me with such friends today.
That sort of thing.
That is how my morning is going.
Bad news - the man of the house is sick. Again. That poor man has had a rough winter. I think he picks up every bug that floats around church. More bad news - the boys and I were supposed to go to the symphony and zoo today, but I am not comfortable leaving him all day, so we cancelled.
Good news - my friend Angel took the ticket and will take care of herding our crew. Other good news, Grandma and Ben got to go on an outing today that they'd had to cancel yesterday (when Grandma was sick).
Bad news - we are supposed to have our science co-op at my house tomorrow, so if he is still sick, we can't have all those kids here. Good news, one of the other moms said we can have it at her house.
Really good news - my friend Angel (who is a REALLY good friend!) just called and said they won a year family membership to the Creation Museum, but they just went this year. So.....they are blessing us with it. How is that for cool!
Other really good news, actually the very best news of all - The Lord is sovereign. He is in control. I can rest in this. He has provided me a whole, unplanned day to take care of Nevin, and to get some things done around the house. He provides sisters in Christ to step in and help out. He has provided for us that I AM home, so that there is no huge conflict of having to be at work somewhere instead of being able to be here.
Would I prefer that Nevin was not sick, that all our plans for the day (and he had plenty for today, too - one drawback of being self-employed, no calling in sick and someone else taking the work!) were not changed, that I didn't have to erase the list in my planner (it is always in pencil)? Absolutely - especially the part about him being sick. But can I rest knowing that God has it all in the palm of His hand? Yes, most gloriously yes. There is such a peace in knowing this sovereign Lord.
Edited, later that same day....
I wanted to add this text from my friend Cyndi. She said the things I meant to say about God being sovereign, in response to a whiny text from me.
"Concerning joy - I have to constantly remind myself that our omniscient God predetermined all that takes place would happen exactly when it did, as it did and NOTHING could have changed it! And your omnipotent Father will no doubt empower you with all you need for this day! He always does - I know you know that, but it's nice to be reminded!!"
That was what I meant to say. Good news - that the Lord has blessed me with such friends today.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Where Do Your Affections Lie?
We are blessed to have some excellent, thought-provoking sermons Rockport Baptist Church. A few weeks ago, one of our elders-in-training (yes, elders and deacons go through a time of "testing" here, they don't just get the job because they are related to someone, or friends with someone, or tithe big, but I digress.....) Tim Dickmann delivered a sermon titled Seeking Christ. The text for the sermon is Colossians 3:1-4,
3:1 Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. 3 For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.
3:1 Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. 3 For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.
I have listened to this several times, and have pondered it over the last month.
Am I setting my mind on the things above, instead of the things of the earth? Am I engrossed in seeking Christ? Above all else?
Am I setting my mind on the things above, instead of the things of the earth? Am I engrossed in seeking Christ? Above all else?
Where do my affections lie? Our affections for the world diminish our affections for Christ. Likewise, our affections for Christ will diminish our affection for the things of this world.
Where are my affections? Do I do a bit of Bible study in the morning and then figure I've taken care of that for the day? Go to church on Sunday and think that I've done my job and that should tide me over until next week?
No, a thousand times no. I want my day to be filled with seeking Christ, in all that I do. I want my affections to be for Him alone- my husband, the children, the work (even the schoolwork) can all wait - they must be put in their place. If something else is taking the place that Christ is to have in my life then I need to be violent with that, and remove it. Lest someone misunderstand- does that mean that I should sit in my chair with my Bible all day, while my house falls apart, my husband is neglected and my children starve? Of course not. But it means that my desire is for Christ and that as I go about my day, I serve in order to glorify him. My love and care for my family is to be a reflection of my love for Christ. Without Christ, I am unable to truly love them.
This ties in with some of my ponderings the last few weeks about Martha. You know Martha. Overworked, trying to make a perfect dinner party, while Mary sits around. Poor Martha. I have always thought that Martha got a bum rap.
But wait - what is this -
Luke 10:40-42
40 But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; 42 but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
Christ was not chastising her for making dinner, or even for complaining. But Martha was distracted. Distracted - to have her mind stirred up or confused with conflicting emotions or motives.
Her busyness, her projects, her worldly ambitions - these things distracted her from the one thing that is necessary - Christ.
Can I say I love Christ if I do not sit at His feet? Or care for His word? If I do not spend time with him? If I do not seek to obey, honor and glorify him in all things? If I don't show love for the brethren? I don't want to be distracted, I don't want my affections to be diminished by a love of this world.
All things to ponder.
If you want to hear this wonderful preaching, here is the link:
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Priorities, priorities
"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." Ephesians 5:15-17 ESV
Life this week has been turned around and upside down. After managing to wax philosophical about the changes in my plans on Wednesday, it seems like I should have been ready for the rest of the week.
It certainly seems that way, doesn't it? But, not much went according to plan Friday, either.
We did get school done, yjough. The highlight of the day was our Bible study. I was listening to Glenn Beck. I don't usually, because I think he is an alarmist, and slightly off his rocker. But, he was talking about the crash of society as we know it, and God used that. God showed me clearly that I have not got our priorities right. There are a lot of days that the kids and I will get math, science, social studies, etc. done - especially Tony and Ben, since they can do most of theirs on their own. But Bible study requires all of us, it requires time and me sitting down and going through scripture with them. And sometimes that gets missed. I will tell them to do some reading, or work on their AWANA, but not sit down myself with them. And really, what is our priority? God's Word is always our first, or should be. The rest will come, if we have our priorities in line. I get myself in a tizzy over the things of this world - preparing for the SAT for instance. While it is good to teach them math, language arts, science, etc. it has to come second to God's Word. The Word is eternal, all the rest of this is so temporary. I say I want to prepare them for a future by educating them, but what sort of future is there without God? None at all. Anyway, when I got back home all I wanted to do was crash with a cup of tea and play on the computer for a bit, but we all got our Bibles and continued where we left off in John. We are just going straight through that book, reading and discussing, and when we finish we will do another. We also had a great time of prayer together. The littles are not quite ready to pray out loud, but that is okay.
I should have more unplanned days. This is good stuff. The Lord truly ministered to me through the little trials that I had. If I could just learn to keep my focus on Him and not on my own little plans and ideas, how much better the days go. And how much more useful to Him I can be. How much more in tune with His great purposes.
Life this week has been turned around and upside down. After managing to wax philosophical about the changes in my plans on Wednesday, it seems like I should have been ready for the rest of the week.
It certainly seems that way, doesn't it? But, not much went according to plan Friday, either.
We did get school done, yjough. The highlight of the day was our Bible study. I was listening to Glenn Beck. I don't usually, because I think he is an alarmist, and slightly off his rocker. But, he was talking about the crash of society as we know it, and God used that. God showed me clearly that I have not got our priorities right. There are a lot of days that the kids and I will get math, science, social studies, etc. done - especially Tony and Ben, since they can do most of theirs on their own. But Bible study requires all of us, it requires time and me sitting down and going through scripture with them. And sometimes that gets missed. I will tell them to do some reading, or work on their AWANA, but not sit down myself with them. And really, what is our priority? God's Word is always our first, or should be. The rest will come, if we have our priorities in line. I get myself in a tizzy over the things of this world - preparing for the SAT for instance. While it is good to teach them math, language arts, science, etc. it has to come second to God's Word. The Word is eternal, all the rest of this is so temporary. I say I want to prepare them for a future by educating them, but what sort of future is there without God? None at all. Anyway, when I got back home all I wanted to do was crash with a cup of tea and play on the computer for a bit, but we all got our Bibles and continued where we left off in John. We are just going straight through that book, reading and discussing, and when we finish we will do another. We also had a great time of prayer together. The littles are not quite ready to pray out loud, but that is okay.
I should have more unplanned days. This is good stuff. The Lord truly ministered to me through the little trials that I had. If I could just learn to keep my focus on Him and not on my own little plans and ideas, how much better the days go. And how much more useful to Him I can be. How much more in tune with His great purposes.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
No More Facebook
I can't believe I did it. But I did. I deleted my Facebook account.
Not just deactivated, but deleted.
I could no longer handle the drama. I could no longer have such huge chunks of my time (in five minute increments, all day) being taken up. I could no longer have a whole day shot thinking about other peoples' issues. It felt like I had all these people with me, all the time.
And if I wanted that, I guess I could live in a commune.
There are things I will miss. I like seeing pictures, I like the ease of communicating with someone via chat or facebook message. But, I can text, or send an email.
Some of my closest friends, women that I admire greatly, are either not on facebook at all, or have accounts and just never use them. And yet, they manage to run their homes and have time to minister to others.
Here is when I knew it was a problem. When I would get up in the morning and get my cup of coffee and check facebook on my phone before getting into the Word. Instead of prayer, I would get on facebook.
I put it before God. That is an idol, folks.
I was then reading the Word, and posting verses from my ESV app onto Facebook. That counts, doesn't it?
I want to have time to read. To pray. I don't want to be so terribly concerned with what other people think. I don't need to tell everyone what I am fixing for dinner.
I don't need to know what you are fixing, either. Or what deodorant you just got a free sample of. Or what politician you "Like" (does anyone really like any of them, anyway????). None of that is offensive, it is just more than I need to know.
FB won't actually and completely delete my account for 14 days. If I go on and login and re-activate my account, it will all be back where I left it.
Right where I left off.
So now, like and addict, I must do it one day at a time. For today, I will stay off Facebook.
Okay, enough of this already! Deep thoughts are good, navel gazing, not good.
Not just deactivated, but deleted.
I could no longer handle the drama. I could no longer have such huge chunks of my time (in five minute increments, all day) being taken up. I could no longer have a whole day shot thinking about other peoples' issues. It felt like I had all these people with me, all the time.
And if I wanted that, I guess I could live in a commune.
There are things I will miss. I like seeing pictures, I like the ease of communicating with someone via chat or facebook message. But, I can text, or send an email.
Some of my closest friends, women that I admire greatly, are either not on facebook at all, or have accounts and just never use them. And yet, they manage to run their homes and have time to minister to others.
Here is when I knew it was a problem. When I would get up in the morning and get my cup of coffee and check facebook on my phone before getting into the Word. Instead of prayer, I would get on facebook.
I put it before God. That is an idol, folks.
I was then reading the Word, and posting verses from my ESV app onto Facebook. That counts, doesn't it?
I want to have time to read. To pray. I don't want to be so terribly concerned with what other people think. I don't need to tell everyone what I am fixing for dinner.
I don't need to know what you are fixing, either. Or what deodorant you just got a free sample of. Or what politician you "Like" (does anyone really like any of them, anyway????). None of that is offensive, it is just more than I need to know.
FB won't actually and completely delete my account for 14 days. If I go on and login and re-activate my account, it will all be back where I left it.
Right where I left off.
So now, like and addict, I must do it one day at a time. For today, I will stay off Facebook.
Okay, enough of this already! Deep thoughts are good, navel gazing, not good.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Wisdom from a text message
This morning I got a text from my friend Liyah. She sends out texts based on something she is studying in scripture almost every day. She hits right on the mark frequently. Thsi one was too good to keep to myself.
“There is nothing more attractive than a woman who has this look of wisdom, and discretion, and nobility and simplicity.” Paul Washer
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
I then wrote her back,
“You are such a blessing. Last night Nevin and I had another talk about my vanity and insecurities, so this text was very applicable. There are some aspects of aging that really stink, and I am having a hard time moving gracefully into middle age (you know I am going to be 46 in two months, it seems so very old) especially since I think I am only 35 or so!”
Liyah responded,
“I don’t understand it all yet, but I know what God considers beauty. The flesh will die away, but godly character is priceless and that is what is valuable in His sight, and any truly godly man. We haven’t got long to go and we will be home. It seems to me, the inner condition will always accentuate and overshadow the outer. Don’t forget, ma’am, there was a day when it was considered an esteem and honor to be older. Our culture has stolen that joy from a lot of women. Their definition of beauty and womanhood has done women no favors. I’m glad today’s scripture was a blessing. Liyah xx”
I was taken aback at her point about our culture having “stolen that joy from a lot of women.” Isn’t that true? I know when I am fussing about my roots coming in, or my little meno-pot belly, or what is that under my chin that I sure don’t take joy in how God made me. And I have come to the realization of my sin of vanity, and how it pulls me away from God – how I spend more time worrying about my OUTSIDE than working on my INSIDE – my relationship with the Lord, my time in study and prayer.
Anyway, just some deep thoughts before bedtime. Or not deep. I seriously moisturize, I want to eat healthy and exercise, but I am trying to keep it in perspective. I just thought Liyah’s words were too good to not share.
“There is nothing more attractive than a woman who has this look of wisdom, and discretion, and nobility and simplicity.” Paul Washer
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
I then wrote her back,
“You are such a blessing. Last night Nevin and I had another talk about my vanity and insecurities, so this text was very applicable. There are some aspects of aging that really stink, and I am having a hard time moving gracefully into middle age (you know I am going to be 46 in two months, it seems so very old) especially since I think I am only 35 or so!”
Liyah responded,
“I don’t understand it all yet, but I know what God considers beauty. The flesh will die away, but godly character is priceless and that is what is valuable in His sight, and any truly godly man. We haven’t got long to go and we will be home. It seems to me, the inner condition will always accentuate and overshadow the outer. Don’t forget, ma’am, there was a day when it was considered an esteem and honor to be older. Our culture has stolen that joy from a lot of women. Their definition of beauty and womanhood has done women no favors. I’m glad today’s scripture was a blessing. Liyah xx”
I was taken aback at her point about our culture having “stolen that joy from a lot of women.” Isn’t that true? I know when I am fussing about my roots coming in, or my little meno-pot belly, or what is that under my chin that I sure don’t take joy in how God made me. And I have come to the realization of my sin of vanity, and how it pulls me away from God – how I spend more time worrying about my OUTSIDE than working on my INSIDE – my relationship with the Lord, my time in study and prayer.
Anyway, just some deep thoughts before bedtime. Or not deep. I seriously moisturize, I want to eat healthy and exercise, but I am trying to keep it in perspective. I just thought Liyah’s words were too good to not share.
Friday, September 30, 2011
What's In a Name?
Like everything else with me, there is a story behind the name of my blog. You ready?
I had what I called "trust issues" with God. I know now a big part of that was that I thought I was saved for years, lived an unregenerate life, and wondered how come I had so many problems. Even after the Lord saved me in 1993, it took years for me to understand His grace, and what He had done. It took years for my pride to finally be demolished enough for me to understand that it was nothing I did - not that walk down the aisle, not the baptism, not even the re-dedications. None of that mattered, those were all my own work, trying by the force of my will to be good. And not good to be pleasing to God, but good so that my life would be easier, and maybe for the admiration of man as well. But, I could not live like a Christian because I was not one. I was not saved. A little aisle walking after an emotional experience does not equate salvation. Salvation is a work of the Lord, who brings a person dead in their sins to life. How can a dead man decide to come to life?
It actually wasn't until a little over a year ago (5/30/11, actually), sitting in the pew at Rockport Baptist Church (as a visitor, even), holding the cup during the Lord's Supper that it finally hit me, the things that had been starting to come together over the last few years, and had begun to explode in my mind and heart that spring. The Lord opened my eyes to the work He had done, and when he did it. And that all my years of trying to make myself good enough, and worthy enough, of praying during Lord's Supper and gripping that little cup so tightly, "getting right with God" was of no avail. I am not good enough on my own. My righteousness comes from Christ alone.
But I digress.
About 2005 or so I got involved in a homeschool forum, Sonlight. On that forum, you had to have a username, of course. People had very descriptive names, and I wanted one that described me and my walk. So, I became Learning To Trust. LTT, to my friends in Lifelong Learners and Bibliovores. That is where I was - I was learning to trust God. I was starting to explore WHY I believed what I believed, and study scripture to see what it actually said in context, and not what some cherry-picked verses in a Sunday School quarterly said. I learned from all kinds of apologists - Roman Catholic, especially. Can I say something here about those Roman Catholic women? I know that sometimes RCs get a bad rap about not knowing their Bibles, but I have to tell you, these ladies who had converted to RC as adults knew their Bibles and their church doctrine frontwards and backwards. I don't agree with them, but I would never disparage their scholarship, they are head and shoulders above me. But I am gaining...! Anyway, it was at this time that I was also introduced to the Doctrines of Grace, and begun studying as much as I could.
So, long story (I said it would be, didn't I?) that brings us to now, today. I am no longer Learning to Trust. I have learned to trust. I am learning more about God and His plans each day, about the incredible work He has done, and this amazing Bible He gave us. I see more and more each day His hand in my life, and the life of those around me. And I see so clearly what I was saved out of.
So, now I trust. Perhaps this should be called "Learning About God" or "Trying to Understand God" because my understanding falls so short. But right now, I am so filled with gratitude. I have a life that was redeemed by the sacrifice of Christ. He has saved me. He has forgiven me. Not of my own works, but through his kind mercy. And I want anything I do, even this little blog, to always reflect that gratitude.
Redeemed how I love to proclaim it, redeemed by the blood of the Lamb!
I had what I called "trust issues" with God. I know now a big part of that was that I thought I was saved for years, lived an unregenerate life, and wondered how come I had so many problems. Even after the Lord saved me in 1993, it took years for me to understand His grace, and what He had done. It took years for my pride to finally be demolished enough for me to understand that it was nothing I did - not that walk down the aisle, not the baptism, not even the re-dedications. None of that mattered, those were all my own work, trying by the force of my will to be good. And not good to be pleasing to God, but good so that my life would be easier, and maybe for the admiration of man as well. But, I could not live like a Christian because I was not one. I was not saved. A little aisle walking after an emotional experience does not equate salvation. Salvation is a work of the Lord, who brings a person dead in their sins to life. How can a dead man decide to come to life?
It actually wasn't until a little over a year ago (5/30/11, actually), sitting in the pew at Rockport Baptist Church (as a visitor, even), holding the cup during the Lord's Supper that it finally hit me, the things that had been starting to come together over the last few years, and had begun to explode in my mind and heart that spring. The Lord opened my eyes to the work He had done, and when he did it. And that all my years of trying to make myself good enough, and worthy enough, of praying during Lord's Supper and gripping that little cup so tightly, "getting right with God" was of no avail. I am not good enough on my own. My righteousness comes from Christ alone.
But I digress.
About 2005 or so I got involved in a homeschool forum, Sonlight. On that forum, you had to have a username, of course. People had very descriptive names, and I wanted one that described me and my walk. So, I became Learning To Trust. LTT, to my friends in Lifelong Learners and Bibliovores. That is where I was - I was learning to trust God. I was starting to explore WHY I believed what I believed, and study scripture to see what it actually said in context, and not what some cherry-picked verses in a Sunday School quarterly said. I learned from all kinds of apologists - Roman Catholic, especially. Can I say something here about those Roman Catholic women? I know that sometimes RCs get a bad rap about not knowing their Bibles, but I have to tell you, these ladies who had converted to RC as adults knew their Bibles and their church doctrine frontwards and backwards. I don't agree with them, but I would never disparage their scholarship, they are head and shoulders above me. But I am gaining...! Anyway, it was at this time that I was also introduced to the Doctrines of Grace, and begun studying as much as I could.
So, long story (I said it would be, didn't I?) that brings us to now, today. I am no longer Learning to Trust. I have learned to trust. I am learning more about God and His plans each day, about the incredible work He has done, and this amazing Bible He gave us. I see more and more each day His hand in my life, and the life of those around me. And I see so clearly what I was saved out of.
So, now I trust. Perhaps this should be called "Learning About God" or "Trying to Understand God" because my understanding falls so short. But right now, I am so filled with gratitude. I have a life that was redeemed by the sacrifice of Christ. He has saved me. He has forgiven me. Not of my own works, but through his kind mercy. And I want anything I do, even this little blog, to always reflect that gratitude.
Redeemed how I love to proclaim it, redeemed by the blood of the Lamb!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
By this shall all men know
Continue on with the Heart Preparation questions for the Rockport Baptist Church Grace Camp Meeting:
"By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love to one another. John 13:35"
Are you secretly pleased over the misfortunes of others?
That sounds so horrible - but yes, I have been happy to see someone "get what they deserve". Sometimes this is righteous, I guess - glad to see a murderer get his due punishment, for example. I don't think that is what this means, though.
What about less "extenuating" circumstances - like, being happy to see someone get their comeuppance? I know I have been guilty of this. Don't we love to see a braggart fall flat on their face, the person who acts superior make a fool of themselves? How the demons laugh in delight when we take such an attitude!
Are you secretly annoyed over the accomplishments or advancements of another?
No, not really. I may be a little envious at times, but I am usually pretty honest with myself. I can recognize their hard work over my lack of it.
I may get annoyed if they harp on it, but that goes back to the first question!
Are you guilty of any contention or strife?
We discussed this last summer in the family Bible study we attend on Wednesday nights.
"There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among the brothers." Proverbs 6:16-19 (Emphasis added).
The Lord equates those who sow discord among the brothers with those who shed innocent blood. Fighting in the church, gossip campaigns, deliberate snubs - oh how we must grieve our God. There is no wiggle room in here. These are the things God hates - an abomination. Not things that annoy him, or may make you lose a little luster on your crown. An abomination. Look up "abomination" in your concordance and do a word study, and cross-reference some verses. See how the Holy God looks upon our after-church conversations.
I try not to be guilty of this - I know I have a tendency to grouse and criticize, but not as much as I used to. The Holy Spirit has given me a few (okay, several) slaps upside the head and laid my sin out before me to where I cannot deny or excuse it. I try to stay out of other peoples' arguments, too. How many times can we get sucked into sin by someone else? We need to be aware of that , and also be aware of how our own sin can suck someone else in.
Do you quarrel, argue, or engage in heated discussions?
Boy, there is one. I have been known to get in some very heated discussions. I love to talk about history, politics, doctrine and theology. That is like the classic brew for heated discussions. And let's be honest, we can couch that sort of thing in "discussion" all day long, but it is arguing. Like telling our kids that Mom and Dad are having a very loud discussion. Yeah, right - and whose kids fall for that?
I have had to really back down and think about what things are worth fighting over - and really, there are very few. And so often, I can say that I am just trying to teach someone, or help them out of error, but really? I like to win. I hate to leave a fight (and that is what it is) without getting in the last word because then it may appear that I have conceded. Oh Lord, to get back the hours I have spent online arguing, with my Bible in my lap, while my sons have been plunked down in front the the tv or wii. What screwed up priorities.
Are you a partaker in any division or party spirit?
I am going to go with "no" on this one. Having been a member of a church that went through a split a few years ago, I got to witness first-hand what went on - all in God's name, of course. I felt like one day I was pulled into this group, the next siding with the other - it seemed to consume every conversation I had with friends and with my husband. I have learned my lesson.
Are there people whom you deliberately slight?
A couple names popped into my head immediately, so I guess it must be true. Let's be honest - there are some people who can suck the life out of you, can drain you emotionally. I have found myself trying to be kind, but also trying to keep some distance. I don't know how I can frame that as "compassion" so let's not even try. I don't think this is talking about people that really aggravate you (sandpaper people) and avoiding them - I think this is really about looking at others and thinking you are somehow superior to them. Maybe you've made better choices in life, you hang with a cooler clique, they don't get your jokes - whatever. I think to define "slight" we could say....if they call, do you try to get off the phone really quickly? If the only open seat at the fellowship is next to her, will you sit in it? Do you deliberately not include them? Do you dismiss them when they speak to you? Have you judged them and found them unworthy?
"Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written,
As I live, says the Lord, every knee
shall bow to me,
and every tongue shall confess
to God.
So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God."
Romans 14: 10-12
There are times to make a righteous judgment on sin - we are called to observe the fruit in our brothers' lives, and to encourage and rebuke. But we are not to judge them simply on whether or not they meet up to OUR own (sinful, personal, worldly) standards.
A lot to think about on this Sabbath day. I am home with a sick son, missing the last gathering of our Grace Camp Meeting. I miss this gathering of the saints, it has been an incredible time of worship. But maybe it is good, too, to have this time alone, to pull back a bit and examine my own heart. We all need that.
"By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love to one another. John 13:35"
Are you secretly pleased over the misfortunes of others?
That sounds so horrible - but yes, I have been happy to see someone "get what they deserve". Sometimes this is righteous, I guess - glad to see a murderer get his due punishment, for example. I don't think that is what this means, though.
What about less "extenuating" circumstances - like, being happy to see someone get their comeuppance? I know I have been guilty of this. Don't we love to see a braggart fall flat on their face, the person who acts superior make a fool of themselves? How the demons laugh in delight when we take such an attitude!
Are you secretly annoyed over the accomplishments or advancements of another?
No, not really. I may be a little envious at times, but I am usually pretty honest with myself. I can recognize their hard work over my lack of it.
I may get annoyed if they harp on it, but that goes back to the first question!
Are you guilty of any contention or strife?
We discussed this last summer in the family Bible study we attend on Wednesday nights.
"There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among the brothers." Proverbs 6:16-19 (Emphasis added).
The Lord equates those who sow discord among the brothers with those who shed innocent blood. Fighting in the church, gossip campaigns, deliberate snubs - oh how we must grieve our God. There is no wiggle room in here. These are the things God hates - an abomination. Not things that annoy him, or may make you lose a little luster on your crown. An abomination. Look up "abomination" in your concordance and do a word study, and cross-reference some verses. See how the Holy God looks upon our after-church conversations.
I try not to be guilty of this - I know I have a tendency to grouse and criticize, but not as much as I used to. The Holy Spirit has given me a few (okay, several) slaps upside the head and laid my sin out before me to where I cannot deny or excuse it. I try to stay out of other peoples' arguments, too. How many times can we get sucked into sin by someone else? We need to be aware of that , and also be aware of how our own sin can suck someone else in.
Do you quarrel, argue, or engage in heated discussions?
Boy, there is one. I have been known to get in some very heated discussions. I love to talk about history, politics, doctrine and theology. That is like the classic brew for heated discussions. And let's be honest, we can couch that sort of thing in "discussion" all day long, but it is arguing. Like telling our kids that Mom and Dad are having a very loud discussion. Yeah, right - and whose kids fall for that?
I have had to really back down and think about what things are worth fighting over - and really, there are very few. And so often, I can say that I am just trying to teach someone, or help them out of error, but really? I like to win. I hate to leave a fight (and that is what it is) without getting in the last word because then it may appear that I have conceded. Oh Lord, to get back the hours I have spent online arguing, with my Bible in my lap, while my sons have been plunked down in front the the tv or wii. What screwed up priorities.
Are you a partaker in any division or party spirit?
I am going to go with "no" on this one. Having been a member of a church that went through a split a few years ago, I got to witness first-hand what went on - all in God's name, of course. I felt like one day I was pulled into this group, the next siding with the other - it seemed to consume every conversation I had with friends and with my husband. I have learned my lesson.
Are there people whom you deliberately slight?
A couple names popped into my head immediately, so I guess it must be true. Let's be honest - there are some people who can suck the life out of you, can drain you emotionally. I have found myself trying to be kind, but also trying to keep some distance. I don't know how I can frame that as "compassion" so let's not even try. I don't think this is talking about people that really aggravate you (sandpaper people) and avoiding them - I think this is really about looking at others and thinking you are somehow superior to them. Maybe you've made better choices in life, you hang with a cooler clique, they don't get your jokes - whatever. I think to define "slight" we could say....if they call, do you try to get off the phone really quickly? If the only open seat at the fellowship is next to her, will you sit in it? Do you deliberately not include them? Do you dismiss them when they speak to you? Have you judged them and found them unworthy?
"Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written,
As I live, says the Lord, every knee
shall bow to me,
and every tongue shall confess
to God.
So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God."
Romans 14: 10-12
There are times to make a righteous judgment on sin - we are called to observe the fruit in our brothers' lives, and to encourage and rebuke. But we are not to judge them simply on whether or not they meet up to OUR own (sinful, personal, worldly) standards.
A lot to think about on this Sabbath day. I am home with a sick son, missing the last gathering of our Grace Camp Meeting. I miss this gathering of the saints, it has been an incredible time of worship. But maybe it is good, too, to have this time alone, to pull back a bit and examine my own heart. We all need that.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
But seek ye first the kingdom of God
Continuing on the Heart-Searching series:
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33
Is there anything in which you have failed to put God first?
Well, probably most things. I am not even sure what this means. I try to keep God in the forefront of all that I do, I feel like I am in His presence all the time. I try to go about my day in a manner that I think would be pleasing to Him. But - I know that I don't take the time to pray like I ought. I pray all day, in my head (a favorite quote "Thinking and praying are not the same thing" Andree Seu, World Magazine). I pray with the boys before school, before meals, when we get in the car, at bedtime; I lay in bed at night and pray for my husband, and it is usually my first waking thought, to pray for him.
But to sit alone, in my closet, and really pour my heart out to God.....doesn't happen much. I guess I do other things instead. Like blog. I do take the time each day to be in the Word, though.
Have your decisions been made after your own wisdom and desires, rather than by seeking and following God's will?
I am learning to be more patient and seek God's will. It is hard. I try to act as I think He would have me. When I compare my thought and decision-making process now to when I was unsaved, I can certainly see the difference. Following God's will is now an underlying foundation. But in everything? Does God care if I buy clothes on line just because they were on sale - even if I don't "need" them? I can convince myself that wants are needs pretty quickly. I think alot of this goes back to the previous question, and how much time I spend in prayer, seeking after God's will. Amazing how this stuff all ties together.
Do any of the following in any way interfere with your surrender and service to God: ambition, pleasures, loved ones, friendships, desires for recognition, money, your own plans?
I guess it depends on what you mean by "service". Is service just face time at church and activities? I know I have often thought that. In years past, when I was busy-busy (and therefore, "holy") at church, I would be torn because on one hand, I did not like the self-imposed pressure to always have my kids in some program or have to find something to do with them so we could be at something - be it a potluck, a banquet, VBS, a womens group, whatever. But on the other - since I WAS doing so much (VBS, Art Camp, teaching Sunday School, womens' book club, whatever else sounded like fun) I could feel like I was really out there and really serving God and part of the club. No one ever told me this, I somehow came up with this brilliance on my own.
I don't think that is the appropriate attitude to take towards service.
And I don't do all that stuff anymore. One obvious reason is that we don't attend a church with lots of activities. But I don't make it to all of that even. Sometimes other ministries we are involved in, or the kids' activities, are already on the schedule. While I would not deliberately choose an activity for the boys that would keep us from church (example, would not be on a team that had practices or games that would cause us to miss church), sometimes the occasional mid-week or weekend activities overlap. Each individual commitment has to be weighed on a case by case basis.
But is that really all there is to surrender and service? I don't think so. I think that we are called to serve our families. Not to elevate our spouse and children to be idols - but my role at this time is to serve them. God has called me to homeschool my children, to maintain a home for them, to raise them, to be a helpmeet to my husband in his business as well as the home - I feel God has CALLED me to this, as surely as he calls some to serve even unto the ends of the earth. Some days my kitchen table FEELS like the ends of the earth, but that is another post!
God also calls me (us, you, we) to serve in various capacities through the church, other ministries, and our community. That list is as individual as each one of us.
So, what gets in the way of my serving, as I am called to serve? I guess the two killers are "my own plans" and "pleasures".
I usually have a list and I usually have plans for my day/week/month/year. I have, over the last few years, learned to loosen my grip on my planner, one finger at a time. I am getting more flexible, more able to roll with the punches. I want to be more available to jump and serve as a need arises. I want to serve my friends with hospitality. I want to serve our homeschool group by doing the newsletter and planning activities. I want to serve our local pregnancy care center by helping to raise awareness and necessary funds. I want to have the time to serve my family in all the ways they need me. So I need to be flexible, as most of life does not happen between 6:00 - 8:30 a.m. (my peak hours of operation).
And what about pleasures? Would I prefer to curl up in my chair and read a book, or play on Facebook and homeschool forums than make phone calls to organize a Lifewalk? Or log homeschool hours in the computer? Or clean a bathroom? Well, yes! But not all the time. This is not to say that we are not to have pleasure in our lives, as long as our pleasure is not the FIRST thing we think of. As long as I am not so busy reading my book that I miss the opportunity God has for me.
And that is what they are, you know - opportunities. Opportunities to serve, opportunities to pray, opportunities to study His word, to learn of His great love and mercy for His children. Let's not let our great opportunities be replaced by ordinary time-fillers.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33
Is there anything in which you have failed to put God first?
Well, probably most things. I am not even sure what this means. I try to keep God in the forefront of all that I do, I feel like I am in His presence all the time. I try to go about my day in a manner that I think would be pleasing to Him. But - I know that I don't take the time to pray like I ought. I pray all day, in my head (a favorite quote "Thinking and praying are not the same thing" Andree Seu, World Magazine). I pray with the boys before school, before meals, when we get in the car, at bedtime; I lay in bed at night and pray for my husband, and it is usually my first waking thought, to pray for him.
But to sit alone, in my closet, and really pour my heart out to God.....doesn't happen much. I guess I do other things instead. Like blog. I do take the time each day to be in the Word, though.
Have your decisions been made after your own wisdom and desires, rather than by seeking and following God's will?
I am learning to be more patient and seek God's will. It is hard. I try to act as I think He would have me. When I compare my thought and decision-making process now to when I was unsaved, I can certainly see the difference. Following God's will is now an underlying foundation. But in everything? Does God care if I buy clothes on line just because they were on sale - even if I don't "need" them? I can convince myself that wants are needs pretty quickly. I think alot of this goes back to the previous question, and how much time I spend in prayer, seeking after God's will. Amazing how this stuff all ties together.
Do any of the following in any way interfere with your surrender and service to God: ambition, pleasures, loved ones, friendships, desires for recognition, money, your own plans?
I guess it depends on what you mean by "service". Is service just face time at church and activities? I know I have often thought that. In years past, when I was busy-busy (and therefore, "holy") at church, I would be torn because on one hand, I did not like the self-imposed pressure to always have my kids in some program or have to find something to do with them so we could be at something - be it a potluck, a banquet, VBS, a womens group, whatever. But on the other - since I WAS doing so much (VBS, Art Camp, teaching Sunday School, womens' book club, whatever else sounded like fun) I could feel like I was really out there and really serving God and part of the club. No one ever told me this, I somehow came up with this brilliance on my own.
I don't think that is the appropriate attitude to take towards service.
And I don't do all that stuff anymore. One obvious reason is that we don't attend a church with lots of activities. But I don't make it to all of that even. Sometimes other ministries we are involved in, or the kids' activities, are already on the schedule. While I would not deliberately choose an activity for the boys that would keep us from church (example, would not be on a team that had practices or games that would cause us to miss church), sometimes the occasional mid-week or weekend activities overlap. Each individual commitment has to be weighed on a case by case basis.
But is that really all there is to surrender and service? I don't think so. I think that we are called to serve our families. Not to elevate our spouse and children to be idols - but my role at this time is to serve them. God has called me to homeschool my children, to maintain a home for them, to raise them, to be a helpmeet to my husband in his business as well as the home - I feel God has CALLED me to this, as surely as he calls some to serve even unto the ends of the earth. Some days my kitchen table FEELS like the ends of the earth, but that is another post!
God also calls me (us, you, we) to serve in various capacities through the church, other ministries, and our community. That list is as individual as each one of us.
So, what gets in the way of my serving, as I am called to serve? I guess the two killers are "my own plans" and "pleasures".
I usually have a list and I usually have plans for my day/week/month/year. I have, over the last few years, learned to loosen my grip on my planner, one finger at a time. I am getting more flexible, more able to roll with the punches. I want to be more available to jump and serve as a need arises. I want to serve my friends with hospitality. I want to serve our homeschool group by doing the newsletter and planning activities. I want to serve our local pregnancy care center by helping to raise awareness and necessary funds. I want to have the time to serve my family in all the ways they need me. So I need to be flexible, as most of life does not happen between 6:00 - 8:30 a.m. (my peak hours of operation).
And what about pleasures? Would I prefer to curl up in my chair and read a book, or play on Facebook and homeschool forums than make phone calls to organize a Lifewalk? Or log homeschool hours in the computer? Or clean a bathroom? Well, yes! But not all the time. This is not to say that we are not to have pleasure in our lives, as long as our pleasure is not the FIRST thing we think of. As long as I am not so busy reading my book that I miss the opportunity God has for me.
And that is what they are, you know - opportunities. Opportunities to serve, opportunities to pray, opportunities to study His word, to learn of His great love and mercy for His children. Let's not let our great opportunities be replaced by ordinary time-fillers.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors
In preparation for our upcoming Camp Meeting at church, we were given a bulletin insert of "Heart-Searching for Prayer Preparation and Personal Revival", with questions to review, pray over, and answer.
Yesterday I did the first section. Using Matthew 6:12-14 "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptaion, but deliver us from evil; for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."
And now, for the questions:
Is there anyone against whom you hold a grudge?
Anyone you have not forgiven?
Anyone you hate?
Anyone you do not love?
Are there any misunderstandings that you are unwilling to forget?
Is there any person against whom you are harboring bitterness, resentment, or jealousy?
Anyone you dislike to hear praised or well spoken of?
Do you allow anything to justify a wrong attitude toward another?
Yowsa. Steppin' on some toes there. But hey, this is scripture - not some life coaching, how to live your best life now nonsense. Scripture tells us that if we say we love God and hate our brother, we are liars. We cannot love God and hate our brothers. Cannot. If we do so, God is not in us. That is some paraphrasing on my part, here is the actual scripture, "Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes." 1 John 2:9-11. The light here, is Christ - salvation. So, if you say you are saved, but yet hate your brother - consider whether or not you are truly saved. That is not me judging, by the way - that is me admonishing you to consider what scripture has to say.
So, as I look through these, most of it is pretty easy-peasy. I have done much prayer and soul-searching over the years, and really, I do not think there is anyone that I have not forgiven. There is no one I hate. Is there anyone I don't love?
Oooops.
Had to think about this. There are definitely some people (not many, and they fall in the category of "I have forgiven") that if I saw them in Walmart, I might scootch my cart the other way. Not many. Only two I can think of, actually. But do I hate them? No. Do I love them?
Umm.....
I have some acquaintances that get on my nerves some. We all have those people who are sort of sandpaper to us. Usually the things that annoy us about them are the things we don't like in ourselves, if we really take the time to examine it. If they get on my nerves, does that mean I don't love them?
I posed this question to my husband yesterday. Ladies, take scriptural questions to your husband first, if you can. He listened to me, and then he asked me, "The people who aggravate you, or who you don't want to see in Walmart - if they needed you - would you help them?"
Yes, I would, if I could.
He says that the willingness to give of myself is loving them. I am paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it (when we have deep spiritual talks at 7 a.m., they end up paraphrased.).
Is there anyone I am jealous of?
Hmmm....envious might be a better word. I am envious of my dear friend Angel. She is so disciplined - I feel like a schlump next to her at times. But maybe that isn't jealousy - let's say I appreciate those qualities in her that I don't have. We make a good team.
Do I allow anything to justify a wrong attitude toward another?
Yes. Sometimes. Back to the sandpaper people. The ones who unknowingly irritate me. But I do recognize that in myself now. When I am being critical of someone, I feel badly about it. I repent. I have been known to go to the hearer of my complaining and apologize to them for making them a party to my critical spirit. I guess I could say then that I briefly justify a wrong attitude. But the Holy Spirit doesn't let that last long. When we are saved, we have that conscience, the Holy Spirit, working in us. We can no longer enjoy sin. Sin has to become distasteful to us.
Some sins take longer than others. There are 23 sections of questions. I think if I make it through all of the questions, I may manage to hit most of my sin. On one hand, I kind of don't want to do this. Facing sin is painful sometimes. On the other hand, though, facing the sin and repenting brings us closer to God. Is there anything too hard for that?
We shall find out.
Yesterday I did the first section. Using Matthew 6:12-14 "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptaion, but deliver us from evil; for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."
And now, for the questions:
Is there anyone against whom you hold a grudge?
Anyone you have not forgiven?
Anyone you hate?
Anyone you do not love?
Are there any misunderstandings that you are unwilling to forget?
Is there any person against whom you are harboring bitterness, resentment, or jealousy?
Anyone you dislike to hear praised or well spoken of?
Do you allow anything to justify a wrong attitude toward another?
Yowsa. Steppin' on some toes there. But hey, this is scripture - not some life coaching, how to live your best life now nonsense. Scripture tells us that if we say we love God and hate our brother, we are liars. We cannot love God and hate our brothers. Cannot. If we do so, God is not in us. That is some paraphrasing on my part, here is the actual scripture, "Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes." 1 John 2:9-11. The light here, is Christ - salvation. So, if you say you are saved, but yet hate your brother - consider whether or not you are truly saved. That is not me judging, by the way - that is me admonishing you to consider what scripture has to say.
So, as I look through these, most of it is pretty easy-peasy. I have done much prayer and soul-searching over the years, and really, I do not think there is anyone that I have not forgiven. There is no one I hate. Is there anyone I don't love?
Oooops.
Had to think about this. There are definitely some people (not many, and they fall in the category of "I have forgiven") that if I saw them in Walmart, I might scootch my cart the other way. Not many. Only two I can think of, actually. But do I hate them? No. Do I love them?
Umm.....
I have some acquaintances that get on my nerves some. We all have those people who are sort of sandpaper to us. Usually the things that annoy us about them are the things we don't like in ourselves, if we really take the time to examine it. If they get on my nerves, does that mean I don't love them?
I posed this question to my husband yesterday. Ladies, take scriptural questions to your husband first, if you can. He listened to me, and then he asked me, "The people who aggravate you, or who you don't want to see in Walmart - if they needed you - would you help them?"
Yes, I would, if I could.
He says that the willingness to give of myself is loving them. I am paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it (when we have deep spiritual talks at 7 a.m., they end up paraphrased.).
Is there anyone I am jealous of?
Hmmm....envious might be a better word. I am envious of my dear friend Angel. She is so disciplined - I feel like a schlump next to her at times. But maybe that isn't jealousy - let's say I appreciate those qualities in her that I don't have. We make a good team.
Do I allow anything to justify a wrong attitude toward another?
Yes. Sometimes. Back to the sandpaper people. The ones who unknowingly irritate me. But I do recognize that in myself now. When I am being critical of someone, I feel badly about it. I repent. I have been known to go to the hearer of my complaining and apologize to them for making them a party to my critical spirit. I guess I could say then that I briefly justify a wrong attitude. But the Holy Spirit doesn't let that last long. When we are saved, we have that conscience, the Holy Spirit, working in us. We can no longer enjoy sin. Sin has to become distasteful to us.
Some sins take longer than others. There are 23 sections of questions. I think if I make it through all of the questions, I may manage to hit most of my sin. On one hand, I kind of don't want to do this. Facing sin is painful sometimes. On the other hand, though, facing the sin and repenting brings us closer to God. Is there anything too hard for that?
We shall find out.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Rambling thoughts
I haven't posted anything for a week. Well, ah've bin bizzy.
It has been a good week, but there has just been a lot of "life" going on. Last week I crammed a church fellowship dinner, Super Bowl gathering at my home, one son's eye exam, another midweek fellowship, four sons' haircuts, my own haircut, 4 sons' physical checkups (and immunizations), a birthday, a breakfast out with a friend, lunch at Pizza Hut, roller skating, a youth lock-in and AWANA Bible quizzing into 7 days. I have to admit to being glad we got a bit of snow and I was able to re-schedule some fun for this week instead!
But this week we are back to normal, or at least "normal as it appears here". Yesterday was Valentine's Day, for anyone who didn't know that! Nevin brought me some beautiful roses
Here he is with his Chocolate Covered Oreo Cookie cake, surrounded by homemade Oreo truffles. I think he had a good day. He ended up getting a lot of attention last week, as he also competed in the AWANA Bible Quizzing
He and his teammate tied for 4th place this year. It was VERY nice not to have to be at AWANA an hour early for quizzing practice Sunday - but in just a few weeks the practice will start for his older brother Tony's quizzing!
Today it is a glorious sunny day, supposed to get up to 55 degrees. We are going to do a bit of school, then we have friends coming over to watch West Side Story. This week we are going to Powell Symphony Hall in St. Louis for one of their educational concerts, and they will be playing excerpts from Romeo and Juliet and West Side Story. So, today we will have popcorn and soda and hang out and watch the movie. My yard is a muddy bog right now, so hopefully that will help when the boys start begging to quit watching the movie and go outside. We'll see how this plays out. Probably end up with the guys outside and the ladies and girls inside watching. Oh well, more popcorn for me!
Other than that, just a basic week. Some bookwork school, some "living life" school, midweek fellowship, probably hit some outside activities later in the week, and then a dinner out with grown-ups this Saturday night. So many things to look forward to.
This morning my 3rd son Joe was sitting with me in my chair (as he does most mornings - we are the early-risers here)
and we were discussing how to tell time, and watching the minute hand move from 7:00 a.m. to 7:01 a.m. I told him that time goes by so fast you don't even see it. He told me time was flying, and pretended to reach up and grab numbers as they flew past us.
Yep, time is flying, and sometimes in all the busy - even the really fun busy - I have to remind myself to stop and enjoy it, to focus on what God is doing all around us, and not to be frantically grabbing at the imaginary numbers as they fly by.
But right now I need to go feed people and educate them and pick up the house and feed the chickens! Praise God!
It has been a good week, but there has just been a lot of "life" going on. Last week I crammed a church fellowship dinner, Super Bowl gathering at my home, one son's eye exam, another midweek fellowship, four sons' haircuts, my own haircut, 4 sons' physical checkups (and immunizations), a birthday, a breakfast out with a friend, lunch at Pizza Hut, roller skating, a youth lock-in and AWANA Bible quizzing into 7 days. I have to admit to being glad we got a bit of snow and I was able to re-schedule some fun for this week instead!
But this week we are back to normal, or at least "normal as it appears here". Yesterday was Valentine's Day, for anyone who didn't know that! Nevin brought me some beautiful roses
He also brought me a box of chocolate covered strawberries (he said he knew I was trying to eat healthy, and those are healthier than the box of chocolates I usually get from him - so thoughtful!). I'd post a picture of those, but the box is just about empty, and not terribly pretty right now!
Two of my sons made me cards. Joe's says, "My mom's the best cook ever," and has pictures of Doritos and Snicker bars taped to it. Not quite sure what to make of that, but I am going with the sentiment! Even my mom got me a card, and a pretty-wrapped Hershey bar. I ate the Hershey bar. I think I was supposed to eat it in little bites, but as I spent a large chunk of my afternoon on the phone with the Department of Revenue, discussing sales tax laws, I just put my head on the desk and swallowed it whole.
The birthday was nice - my 2nd son Ben is 11 now
Today it is a glorious sunny day, supposed to get up to 55 degrees. We are going to do a bit of school, then we have friends coming over to watch West Side Story. This week we are going to Powell Symphony Hall in St. Louis for one of their educational concerts, and they will be playing excerpts from Romeo and Juliet and West Side Story. So, today we will have popcorn and soda and hang out and watch the movie. My yard is a muddy bog right now, so hopefully that will help when the boys start begging to quit watching the movie and go outside. We'll see how this plays out. Probably end up with the guys outside and the ladies and girls inside watching. Oh well, more popcorn for me!
Other than that, just a basic week. Some bookwork school, some "living life" school, midweek fellowship, probably hit some outside activities later in the week, and then a dinner out with grown-ups this Saturday night. So many things to look forward to.
This morning my 3rd son Joe was sitting with me in my chair (as he does most mornings - we are the early-risers here)
and we were discussing how to tell time, and watching the minute hand move from 7:00 a.m. to 7:01 a.m. I told him that time goes by so fast you don't even see it. He told me time was flying, and pretended to reach up and grab numbers as they flew past us.
Yep, time is flying, and sometimes in all the busy - even the really fun busy - I have to remind myself to stop and enjoy it, to focus on what God is doing all around us, and not to be frantically grabbing at the imaginary numbers as they fly by.
But right now I need to go feed people and educate them and pick up the house and feed the chickens! Praise God!
Monday, February 7, 2011
I wore blue jeans to church
Yesterday I wore jeans to church. Levis, to be precise. I know a lot of people wear jeans to church. There were a lot of people AT church in jeans yesterday. My husband and sons wear jeans most Sundays. So, I wore jeans and who cares, right?
Well, I did half-expect the building to get hit by lightning when I walked in, so that could be a cause for concern.
I don't think I have EVER worn jeans to church. I don't mind that other people do. Maybe it is just an old-fashioned tradition. But I have always, since I was a child, "dressed up" for church. I have certainly worn slacks, but they were dress slacks. Growing up, I had "school clothes", "play clothes" and "dress clothes". As an adult, I worked in offices that ranged from "office dressy" (pencil skirts, pumps, usually a jacket) to "office casual" (slacks, Dockers, casual skirts with low-heel or flat shoes). But never jeans. I did once work in an office where we could wear jeans on Friday, but someone got crazy and wore tennis shoes and that was the end of that.
Anyway, I have always LIKED to get dressed up on Sunday. Especially now - I stay at home most days with the kiddos, and that means sweats. The days I go into town it is jeans and a t-shirt. When we go to any sort of event - it is jeans and whatever. Dress 'em up with a fancier shirt and shoes, but still jeans.
So this Sunday the parking lot at church still had a lot of ice on it, and I start thinking how ridiculous it is to try to find the right "dress shoes" to wear to walk across ice. I need to wear casual, comfortable flats (with some traction). Those usually don't look too hot with a dress. So I thought.....I guess I could wear jeans. I mentioned this to my husband. He said, "I don't see why not, lots of people do, why wouldn't you?" (It is funny sometimes how I can approach him with huge, life-changing issues and he seems oblivious to all that.)
Well, then, why wouldn't I? Hmmmm, I don't know. I like to think I always get dressed up as a sign of respect for church - that coming together to worship is worth getting dressed up for. But I meet with other Christians all the time, and I don't dress up then. We have fellowship every Wednesday night, with prayer, singing and Bible study, and I don't dress up for that, either.
Could it be vanity? A little pride slipping out? That is a sin that God convicts me of, over and over.
I watched a clip of Francis Chan a few weeks back, and he said he wore jeans on Sunday because he wore them every other day and he wanted to be the same person Sunday as the rest of the week. He didn't want to be a different person when he showed up for church. I know a lot of people who put on a "Sunday face" at church - we can all be nice and act like a Christian for 2 hours a week, right? Okay, digressing there...but think about it - if I am to carry who I am out of that church building and into the world, if my life is not to have "compartments" (I have used a lot of " " in this post!) where I seperate the secular from the holy, then why would my closet have these same compartments?
Just some meandering thoughts.
I will probably still wear skirts most of the time - mainly because I have a closet full of skirts and no where else to wear them! I think the chickens would wonder what I was up to if I showed up all decked out to fill their feeders, you know. And I just like them, especially when it gets warm outside.
But I don't HAVE to wear them. I can wear a skirt, and a pair of heels, because I enjoy it, and because I want to, not because I feel some legalistic compulsion to OR ELSE. I don't even feel the need to point out that they were new jeans, not particularily tight or immodest, or even bring up the safety issue of the ice on the parking lot. Okay, so I did just bring them up, but I didn't HAVE to. I am getting there.
Freedom.
Well, I did half-expect the building to get hit by lightning when I walked in, so that could be a cause for concern.
I don't think I have EVER worn jeans to church. I don't mind that other people do. Maybe it is just an old-fashioned tradition. But I have always, since I was a child, "dressed up" for church. I have certainly worn slacks, but they were dress slacks. Growing up, I had "school clothes", "play clothes" and "dress clothes". As an adult, I worked in offices that ranged from "office dressy" (pencil skirts, pumps, usually a jacket) to "office casual" (slacks, Dockers, casual skirts with low-heel or flat shoes). But never jeans. I did once work in an office where we could wear jeans on Friday, but someone got crazy and wore tennis shoes and that was the end of that.
Anyway, I have always LIKED to get dressed up on Sunday. Especially now - I stay at home most days with the kiddos, and that means sweats. The days I go into town it is jeans and a t-shirt. When we go to any sort of event - it is jeans and whatever. Dress 'em up with a fancier shirt and shoes, but still jeans.
So this Sunday the parking lot at church still had a lot of ice on it, and I start thinking how ridiculous it is to try to find the right "dress shoes" to wear to walk across ice. I need to wear casual, comfortable flats (with some traction). Those usually don't look too hot with a dress. So I thought.....I guess I could wear jeans. I mentioned this to my husband. He said, "I don't see why not, lots of people do, why wouldn't you?" (It is funny sometimes how I can approach him with huge, life-changing issues and he seems oblivious to all that.)
Well, then, why wouldn't I? Hmmmm, I don't know. I like to think I always get dressed up as a sign of respect for church - that coming together to worship is worth getting dressed up for. But I meet with other Christians all the time, and I don't dress up then. We have fellowship every Wednesday night, with prayer, singing and Bible study, and I don't dress up for that, either.
Could it be vanity? A little pride slipping out? That is a sin that God convicts me of, over and over.
I watched a clip of Francis Chan a few weeks back, and he said he wore jeans on Sunday because he wore them every other day and he wanted to be the same person Sunday as the rest of the week. He didn't want to be a different person when he showed up for church. I know a lot of people who put on a "Sunday face" at church - we can all be nice and act like a Christian for 2 hours a week, right? Okay, digressing there...but think about it - if I am to carry who I am out of that church building and into the world, if my life is not to have "compartments" (I have used a lot of " " in this post!) where I seperate the secular from the holy, then why would my closet have these same compartments?
Just some meandering thoughts.
I will probably still wear skirts most of the time - mainly because I have a closet full of skirts and no where else to wear them! I think the chickens would wonder what I was up to if I showed up all decked out to fill their feeders, you know. And I just like them, especially when it gets warm outside.
But I don't HAVE to wear them. I can wear a skirt, and a pair of heels, because I enjoy it, and because I want to, not because I feel some legalistic compulsion to OR ELSE. I don't even feel the need to point out that they were new jeans, not particularily tight or immodest, or even bring up the safety issue of the ice on the parking lot. Okay, so I did just bring them up, but I didn't HAVE to. I am getting there.
Freedom.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
"Lord, make me a woman who loves."
"Lord, make me a woman who loves."
This has been an ongoing prayer. I have always known that I am to love others, but I have been absolutely convicted for some time that I need to truly LOVE people - that this is a glaring sin in my life, and the Lord keeps bringing it right in front of me. I don't want to say, or even think, "...of course I love everyone, but there are some people that I just don't like," or any of that. I think that is a cop-out. I acknowledge that in practical terms there will be some people that I have more in common with, have mutual friends with, etc. And, I will probably spend more time in those peoples' company. I will even admit that there are some people who are difficult to be around - for various reasons. Is it okay to not hang around them? Sometimes, I think. If I am not able to respond to them in a Christ-like and loving manner, then maybe I should remove myself from the opportunity to sin. Does that give me a pass, though? NO. The fact that I cannot respond to someone in a loving manner is not a reflection on THEM - it is a reflection on ME. It is MY sin.
In every situation, I try to look at my role. Sometimes this is easy. Sometimes I can just note that I need repent and ask God to give me the supernatural ability to be more patient and loving. Often, I can see where I was quick to judge and criticize (even if I don't say it out loud).
Sometimes, though, it is difficult. When I feel like someone has wronged me - especially when dealing with someone who is being passive-aggressive, where you know they are digging at you, but it is being done so subtly that you really can't call them on it. That is the sort of thing that can feel like grit in your soul. But what is my role in this? Even if I did nothing to provoke it, I still have a role - my role is my response. Do I get angry, and then go on a vent against them? Do I turn it over (and over and over) in my head, sucking up my day with my grievances? Do I pray for God to "fix" them?
Or do I turn to my Savior, and beg Him to take this anger from me, and to replace it with love and compassion.
Honestly? Sometimes the former, sometimes the latter. But I want it to be the latter. I want my actions and my thoughts to be glorifying to God. You know what I really want? I want for it to not even be an issue - to be so filled with love for my brothers and sisters that I don't even see their wrongs. I want their "sandpaper" to rub me smooth.
I recognize that I am also sandpaper for others, but I am going to leave that for another post, on another day!
I am blessed to have a "slightly" older woman who holds me accountable. We are close in chronological age, but she is years ahead of me in her walk with the Lord. Last week during a prayer meeting she cried out to God to give her a heart to love people the way she should, the way He does. This has been my own prayer, and when I heard it spoken out loud it became like a searing flash across my heart. Oh Lord, how critical I am. How easily offended I can be. How impatient, and unloving. Lord, let me see others as you see them. As you have loved and forgiven me, let me love them. Give me a compassionate heart, instead of a critical one. Lord, if I see a brother or sister in sin, let me be grieved over it. Let me take it to You, let me intercede for them. Let me not tell others about it, or complain about it. God, if you lead me to confront them, let it be done in humility, in love, not in self-righteousness.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
If anyone says, "I love God" and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
1 John 4:7-12, 20-21 ESV
This has been an ongoing prayer. I have always known that I am to love others, but I have been absolutely convicted for some time that I need to truly LOVE people - that this is a glaring sin in my life, and the Lord keeps bringing it right in front of me. I don't want to say, or even think, "...of course I love everyone, but there are some people that I just don't like," or any of that. I think that is a cop-out. I acknowledge that in practical terms there will be some people that I have more in common with, have mutual friends with, etc. And, I will probably spend more time in those peoples' company. I will even admit that there are some people who are difficult to be around - for various reasons. Is it okay to not hang around them? Sometimes, I think. If I am not able to respond to them in a Christ-like and loving manner, then maybe I should remove myself from the opportunity to sin. Does that give me a pass, though? NO. The fact that I cannot respond to someone in a loving manner is not a reflection on THEM - it is a reflection on ME. It is MY sin.
In every situation, I try to look at my role. Sometimes this is easy. Sometimes I can just note that I need repent and ask God to give me the supernatural ability to be more patient and loving. Often, I can see where I was quick to judge and criticize (even if I don't say it out loud).
Sometimes, though, it is difficult. When I feel like someone has wronged me - especially when dealing with someone who is being passive-aggressive, where you know they are digging at you, but it is being done so subtly that you really can't call them on it. That is the sort of thing that can feel like grit in your soul. But what is my role in this? Even if I did nothing to provoke it, I still have a role - my role is my response. Do I get angry, and then go on a vent against them? Do I turn it over (and over and over) in my head, sucking up my day with my grievances? Do I pray for God to "fix" them?
Or do I turn to my Savior, and beg Him to take this anger from me, and to replace it with love and compassion.
Honestly? Sometimes the former, sometimes the latter. But I want it to be the latter. I want my actions and my thoughts to be glorifying to God. You know what I really want? I want for it to not even be an issue - to be so filled with love for my brothers and sisters that I don't even see their wrongs. I want their "sandpaper" to rub me smooth.
I recognize that I am also sandpaper for others, but I am going to leave that for another post, on another day!
I am blessed to have a "slightly" older woman who holds me accountable. We are close in chronological age, but she is years ahead of me in her walk with the Lord. Last week during a prayer meeting she cried out to God to give her a heart to love people the way she should, the way He does. This has been my own prayer, and when I heard it spoken out loud it became like a searing flash across my heart. Oh Lord, how critical I am. How easily offended I can be. How impatient, and unloving. Lord, let me see others as you see them. As you have loved and forgiven me, let me love them. Give me a compassionate heart, instead of a critical one. Lord, if I see a brother or sister in sin, let me be grieved over it. Let me take it to You, let me intercede for them. Let me not tell others about it, or complain about it. God, if you lead me to confront them, let it be done in humility, in love, not in self-righteousness.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
If anyone says, "I love God" and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
1 John 4:7-12, 20-21 ESV
Saturday, December 25, 2010
And now, for something a little different
This year we decided to do something a little different for Christmas. Usually Nevin takes the boys out one at a time to buy gifts for each other and me, and I take the boys out (en masse) to buy gifts for Nevin. This has worked well for a few years, but we still find ourselves with a lot of gifts that are nice, but really, we don't need.
Actually, we don't NEED anything. We have more than everything we need - and we have pretty much everything we could possibly want as well.
But there are so many in the world who don't even have clean water, a way to support themselves, or even a Bible. So this year, we cut back quite a bit. We asked each boy what one thing they would really like. We got them each that one thing, and then we picked out a smaller item as well, and another small gift and some candy for the stocking. We did not buy anything for each other (okay, Nevin did get me a box of chocolates, he knows the ways to keep me happy!). The boys did not select anything for us or each other.
Instead, on Christmas Eve, we looked at the Christmas Catalog put out by Gospel for Asia. Nevin checked into their ministry, and read the book Revolution in World Missions by K. P. Yohannan
(note - this is the book that has been handed out for free at The Greater St. Louis Homeschool Expo the last few years - and is available free at GFA's website). One of the things that is different about this ministry is that the missionaries are not people sent to India from the United States or Europe - they are indigenous people, who have been discipled and trained to carry the gospel to their own countrymen. They are also ministering to some of the poorest of the poor in the world. Where $10 in our home will buy a small Lego set (that Ben can assemble in about 5 minutes), through Gospel for Asia it can buy a mosquito net, to protect a child from the biting insects that carry malaria.
With the kids, we looked all through the online catalog, and asked them what they would like to buy with their own money. This is a new twist, also, because in the past they have "selected" gifts for the brothers and parents, which we then paid for. This time, they were using their own money. They kicked in $10-11 each ( the equivalent of two weeks' allowance for Tony and Ben, but 10 weeks' for Joe and Henry). Nevin and I also put in what we would have spent on each other. Together, for relatively little money, our family bought a pair of chicks, a pair of rabbits, a mosquito net, gospel tracts, VBS materials, a tool kit and a bicycle for a missionary. Life-changing things for these people, with money that would have gone for nice, but unneccessary, items for ourselves.
This is not to toot our own horn, by the way - I want to share this because it was so easy, and yet so worthwhile. So often we look for ways to help, ways to support missions (if you don't go yourself, you need to support those who do), we have a desire to do "something", but that "something" can be elusive. This was something that anyone can do - it is a good start.
Nevin and I have been reading Radical by David Platt, and it is really giving us pause, and causing us to re-think what is important. What is enough.
What is too much.
But more on that later. For now, Merry Christmas. The traditional pictures of our over-indulged children will be posted tomorrow. For today, we will bask in the glow of the day, prepare a Taco Fiesta for dinner, and a chocolate cake with buttercream frosting to celebrate the birth of Christ.
Actually, we don't NEED anything. We have more than everything we need - and we have pretty much everything we could possibly want as well.
But there are so many in the world who don't even have clean water, a way to support themselves, or even a Bible. So this year, we cut back quite a bit. We asked each boy what one thing they would really like. We got them each that one thing, and then we picked out a smaller item as well, and another small gift and some candy for the stocking. We did not buy anything for each other (okay, Nevin did get me a box of chocolates, he knows the ways to keep me happy!). The boys did not select anything for us or each other.
Instead, on Christmas Eve, we looked at the Christmas Catalog put out by Gospel for Asia. Nevin checked into their ministry, and read the book Revolution in World Missions by K. P. Yohannan
(note - this is the book that has been handed out for free at The Greater St. Louis Homeschool Expo the last few years - and is available free at GFA's website). One of the things that is different about this ministry is that the missionaries are not people sent to India from the United States or Europe - they are indigenous people, who have been discipled and trained to carry the gospel to their own countrymen. They are also ministering to some of the poorest of the poor in the world. Where $10 in our home will buy a small Lego set (that Ben can assemble in about 5 minutes), through Gospel for Asia it can buy a mosquito net, to protect a child from the biting insects that carry malaria.
With the kids, we looked all through the online catalog, and asked them what they would like to buy with their own money. This is a new twist, also, because in the past they have "selected" gifts for the brothers and parents, which we then paid for. This time, they were using their own money. They kicked in $10-11 each ( the equivalent of two weeks' allowance for Tony and Ben, but 10 weeks' for Joe and Henry). Nevin and I also put in what we would have spent on each other. Together, for relatively little money, our family bought a pair of chicks, a pair of rabbits, a mosquito net, gospel tracts, VBS materials, a tool kit and a bicycle for a missionary. Life-changing things for these people, with money that would have gone for nice, but unneccessary, items for ourselves.
This is not to toot our own horn, by the way - I want to share this because it was so easy, and yet so worthwhile. So often we look for ways to help, ways to support missions (if you don't go yourself, you need to support those who do), we have a desire to do "something", but that "something" can be elusive. This was something that anyone can do - it is a good start.
Nevin and I have been reading Radical by David Platt, and it is really giving us pause, and causing us to re-think what is important. What is enough.
What is too much.
But more on that later. For now, Merry Christmas. The traditional pictures of our over-indulged children will be posted tomorrow. For today, we will bask in the glow of the day, prepare a Taco Fiesta for dinner, and a chocolate cake with buttercream frosting to celebrate the birth of Christ.
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