I have not done blog posts faithfully - most of my life shows up on Facebook, and my books on Goodreads.  But, I thought I would publish my "What I Read In April" book reviews and try to get back in the habit.

Countdown in Cairo (Russian Trilogy #3) - 5 - Noel Hynd - these are in the Christian Lit section, but while her faith is a driving factor in her life, it is not the whole point of the story.  Alex is a Federal Treasury agent and deals with the ugliest aspects of the world.  She has a strong faith in God, and a "traditional" belief system, but I would almost call her more spiritual than Christian.  She struggles with her faith, especially after the events she lives through, but there is no mention of Christ, repentence, etc.

These are excellent spy stories, and Alex is a very strong moral character.  There is plenty of violence (not graphic compared to most contemporary novels, but more than most Christian ones), but no profanity and very little sexual content.  She herself is very chaste.  I enjoy the background (though it does get too heavy at times) for current political events she is involved in.  Putin plays a role in this one.  I highly recommend these books to anyone who likes action but doesn't like the gore/sex/profanity of most contemporary thrillers.

Hostage in Havanna (Cuban Trilogy #1) - 3 - Noel Hynd - this is the next trilogy, with Alex matching wits with a female South American drug lord.  Lots and lots of details about Cuba - Batista, Castro, Che, etc.  Not as good as the first so far - I really miss Yuri Federov, the Russian crime lord from the first series.

Mara, Daughter of the Nile - 3 - Eloise Jarvis McGraw - picked this up at Rainbow Resources booth at a homeschool conference last month.  I had been wanting to read it since my oldest was 5 and I was drooling over the Sonlight catalog.  Very good look at ancient Egypt, made me go back and reread some materials on Hatshephut (I know I did not spell that right, too lazy to look up) the female pharoah.  My older boys are now past this in history, but I will have my younger ones read it when they get to world history.

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor's Journey Into Christian Faith - 5 - Rosaria Champagne Butterfield - I wish I had copies to hand out to everyone.  Excellent, excellent book.  Rosaria was a lesbian activist, tenured English professor, serious bigshot in the academia/gay/feminist world.  She was disdainful of Christians, and one of her very good points is that the Christians she met did not engage in conversation, ask questions, debate, etc.  They came and preached morality to the unconverted.

Rosaria wrote an article in the 90s when Pat Robertson made a comment about feminis leading women to witchcraft, etc.  She began receiving mail, and had two boxes - fan and hate.  Then she got a letter from a pastor that did not go in either.  It was full of intelligent discussion, and questions.  She eventually contacted him and developed a relationship with him and his wife.  How this couple ministered to her was very eye-opening to me.  Anyway - cutting to the chase - she began to study scripture, study Christian writings, had him at her home to speak to her friends, went to his home, and after a few years the Lord began to draw her to Himself and she became a believer.  She had to give up her entire life that she had built in order to serve the Lord.  Right now she is a pastor's wife/church planter, Reformed Presbyterian, homeschool mama to four adopted children of different races.

The book isn't just about ministering to homosexuals, it spoke to me about the role of Christians in ministering to everyone around us, and what that can look like.  It was definitely a "think outside the box" book and I highly recommend it.

What I Learned

I am on a homeschool forum with a great bunch of ladies.  One of the topics brought up this weekend is, "What did you learn this year?"  I learned a lot of things educationally, etc.  But along with all the fun stuff (biology and history can be amazing when you get to learn along with the kids).  But there are some lessons that are ongoing, that even when you think you have learned them they keep coming back.  These I have pondered this morning.

I also started reading Broken for a Purpose by Gisela Yohannan (wife of found of Gospel for Asia) this morning.  When God tells you things from two different sources within an hour, it is time to listen.

     "When the Lord saved us, He gave us His joy, peace, assurance of salvation and eternal life.  But somehow in our minds, we often expect God to remove all the difficulties and hardships of our life from now on, so as believers we can enjoy an easier, more comfortable life than the rest fo mankind.  But Jesus did not make such a promise.  He only promised to be with us always.  In fact, He told us in advance that we would suffer persecution and trials - as He did - if we are to become His disciples.
     This actually means that aside from the difficulties a "natural" (unsaved) person faces, we will be in a continuous spiritual battle, one that is not against flesh and blood.  Yet in the midst of all this, Jesus assures us of a peace that is not of this world and enables us to be more than conquerors."

Things I have learned, and continue to learn this year, and probably for my entire life:
Don't believe anything you hear unless you see and hear it yourself straight from the horse's mouth.
Give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
Keep your mouth shut.
Do not grumble.
We have plenty of critics. Be an encourager.
Trust in the Lord.
Nothing stays the same.

Status report, some book logs

It has been a loooonnnnggg time since I posted anything!  This winter and spring has been crazy busy - mostly good busy, though.  Lots of fun stuff with the kids, our science co-op, all kinds of fellowships with friends, and the cabinet shop has been inundated with orders!  We also got to host a little guy from Safe Families for almost a month.  He is coming back out today for a few days to visit.  So excited!  In the meantime, though, here is a bit of status, hopefully I can update some reading logs, and maybe get a few pictures in as well.

Stole the questions for the Status Update from Kim at The Upward Call

Sitting:  in my big recliner, where I do most of my reading and studying.

Glad: that I got a bunch of cabinets ordered last night so I can chill this morning.

Thankful: to have a beautiful day, since we are driving over an hour each way to pick up our little Safe Families guy for a visit.

Re-evaluating: my plans for school this fall.

Looking ahead to: time on Saturday that I am going to make some jewelry.  The guys will all be gone at a Mens' Breakfast at church and I am going to sort my goodies and string some beads.  It has been way too long.

Feeling bad: for some of my friends who are going through some really tough times.  I know prayer is the most important thing we can do, but I wish there were some physical things I could do as well.  Sometimes there are, but most of the time it is too big.

Relieved: that Joe, who was droopy all yesterday and not feeling good last night, is up and back to his normal self today!

Happy: to be working on a new Bible study from Cruciform Press titled "Joy! A Bible Study On Philippians for Women" by Keri Folmer and reading "Ties That Bind" by one of my favorite authors, C.J. Darlington

Curious: about so many things.

Thinking: about how to mesh sports and homeschooling.

Proud: of my husband.  

Wondering: if it is too soon to start stressing out about our biology co-op next year.

Praising God: for this gorgeous day that I get to enjoy.

And now, onto some books....I really wish I could just cut and paste my logs from Goodreads...here is a link to my shelf of books I have read so far this year which I have creatively titled "2013 Log".  All my current reads are over to the right.  I have pretty much gotten away from writing reviews, just doing stars.  I know, I know.....

Other than that, not much to tell.  But, I will anyway, with just a few from the family album!

Ben at his 13th birthday party.  He had a dodgeball party.  The cake is Rubik's Cube themed.  He does not like having his picture taken, can you tell?

Joe, performing a science experiment

My Nevin.  

Henry showing us some Darth Maul moves with the double light saber his dad made for him.

Me and my mom at a ladies dinner at her church.  Yes, we are wearing paper hats.  Don't ask.

Group photo from our last airsoft war.  We usually do one in the fall and one in the spring.  

And the latest family portrait, from Mother's Day.  I think Nevin and I are starting to resemble Phil and Miss Kay, what do you think?  With our four boys, we could be some Robertsons in the making.  Tony especially plans to have a beard, as soon as physically possible.  

Tony's 15th birthday.  Me and my four men, plus Tony's buddy Caleb.  Caleb seems to show up in a lot of our pictures. 

And that is it!  Hopefully I won't wait four months to write again.  I need to update the pictures on the sidebar as well.  But not today.  Today I am going to go get the little guy!

48 Things

Just for fun

Cherise over at DSMA posted a list of answers to 48 questions.  

Others have followed suit and I thought I’d just jump on the bandwagon…Just for fun!  Here are 48 things about me.  (sorry for the wonky formatting but I'm tired of trying to fix it.)

1.   WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

My full name is Paula Ann.  My Uncle Paul and my Grandfather Benjamin.  "Ann" in Yiddish is Ben.  Or vice versa.  I am relying on my mom for this information, as I do not know Yiddish.  My grandfather was Jewish.

2.   WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? 

Last weekend when I heard my friend Becky's son had died.

3.   DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

Not really.  It is sort of schizophrenic.  Sometimes it will change from slanted to straight up and down within the same paragraph.

4.   WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Turkey

5.   DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

Four incredible men-in-the-making.  Tony will be 15 next month, Ben is 13 next week, Joe will be 10 next month and Henry is 8.

6.   IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

I'd have to be pretty thick-skinned.  I tend to say awkward things without really thinking them through.  And I have a wierd sense of humor that can be off-putting.  But I think I am fun to hang out with, and will return calls and texts.  What more can you ask for?

7.   DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

Probably too much.  See "off-putting sense of humor" above.

8.   DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?

Indeed I do.

9.   WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?

Not of my own volition.

10.       WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?

Special K Fruit and Yogurt.  I really don't like cereal that much.  

11.       DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?

Not usually.

12.       DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?

I am one tough cookie, and that is a fact.

13.       WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?

Spumoni

14.       WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Their countenance.  Are they smiling or cranky-looking?  

15.       RED OR PINK?

Red.

16.       WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?

I tend to get impatient with my kids, and not give them the grace I should.  

17.       WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

My dad.  It is hard to believe he has been gone 27 years now.  I miss him every day.

18.       WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?

Consistency

19.       WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?

Brown Chacos, cream and red trim

20.       WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

Coffee right now...probably a pack of Smarties last night.

21.       WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?

Moneyball on tv.  I recorded it months ago, waiting for a chance to watch it without the kids around.  Wasn't sure about the language, and I hate having to turn off a movie we have already started.  

22.       IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

Some sort of burnt orangey color

23.       FAVORITE SMELLS?

Laundry detergent.

24.       HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU?

Probably way too important.  At least they used to be.  I have found myself so discouraged, with both parties, that I have lost interest.

25.       MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?

Probably the beach.

26.       FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?

Professional baseball - St. Louis Cardinals, of course.  My next favorite is college basketball.  I don't watch it much, but then I get all excited for March Madness.

27.       HAIR COLOR?

Dark brown, with some interesting (!) streaks of silver

28.       EYE COLOR?

Hazel, greenish brown.  

29.       DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

No, my glasses are becoming more and more a permanent fixture on my face.  

30.       FAVORITE FOOD?

I guess if I had to pick one, it would be Mexican.  Though I love seafood so much.  And McDonalds.  Don't judge me.

31.       SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

I don't like scary movies at all.

32.       LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Right now I am watching Moneyball.  Last week we watched Remember the Titans and Rudy.  I think Remember the Titans was one of the best movies EVER.

33.       WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?

Black "Predator" monster truck shirt that I bought in 2002 at our first Monster Jam.

34.       SUMMER OR WINTER?

Summer.  Bring on the camping, park days, and hanging at the pool.  And no school.

35.       FAVORITE DESSERT?

Cheesecake

36.       STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?

A little of both.  I mix steps/aerobics with light weight toning.  

37.       COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?

Can I choose a book instead?  

38.       WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?

I always have a few going, but my for-fun right now is Evans to Betsy by Rhys Bowen.  I love cozy mysteries.

39.       WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?

A picture of Bro. Bob Schembre baptizing me in the Plattin Creek, 8/18/10.

40.       FAVORITE SOUND?

Nevin coming in the door.

41.       FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?

I don't think I have one.  It depends on what kind of mood I am in.

42.       WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?

Sayulita, Mexico.  I am probably not spelling that correctly.  

43.       DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?

I am good at seeing the big picture and putting all the pieces together.  

44.       WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

Crystal City, MO

45.       WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?

Festus, MO.  I haven't gone far.

46.       WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?

Beige, brown, white.  Belends in with the forest.

47.       WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?

The Suburban is black.  I think of that as being "my" car.  

48.       DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 48 QUESTIONS?

It kept me from doing any real work for the last twenty minutes.

Borrowed this from Staci at Writing and Living

Status Report for January, 2013

Sitting… at the kitchen table.

Drinking…nothing.  Should probably have a glass of water.  Will most likely have milk before I go to bed.

Waiting…for the kitchen timer to go off, so I know to go check my blood glucose.

Recovering…from way too many holiday treats, late mornings, and lack of exercise.

Slowly…getting everyone moving off to bed.

Thankful…that I got most of the school stuff ready for next week, and all my science lab reports and tests graded.

Chagrined…I have fallen back into check FB way too often.

Reading…a Molly Murphy mystery by Rhys Bowen.  Not the most intellectual of pursuits, but I enjoy a good clean mystery.

Also reading…The Silver Chair by CS Lewis to the littles and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows to the bigs.

Hearing…too much chatter, not enough getting ready for bed.  I guess I'd better get off the computer and go supervise!

December 2012 Book Log, and 2012 Superlatives

With Christmas break, I ended up getting a few mysteries under my belt, and finished up with 65 books read this year.

December:

Death in the Floating City - Tasha Alexander - 4 - next in the Lady Emily mystery series.  Much better than the last few.  Not my favorite series, but I enjoy them.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - JK Rowling - 4 - finished on New Years' Eve, so we could watch the movie New Years' Day.

An Impartial Witness: A Bess Crawford Mystery - Charles Todd - 4 - I really like this series.  Bess is a normal person, and I noticed it never mentions anything about her appearance.  I like that!  I have never read much about WWI, so I am enjoying this.

A Beautiful Blue Death - 4 - Charles Finch - a new series, with gentleman Charles Lennox solving mysteries in Victorian London.

The Mayflower Adventure - Colleen L. Reece - 3 - Christian American historical fiction, written for kids.  Covers the Mayflower to the end of WWII.  Read this aloud with the younger boys.

Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness - Susannah Cahalan - 4 - excellent book, reconstruction of events by a young woman whose body began attacking her brain, and the month she lost.

And now, for the year-end wrap up....a few years back I started doing a Superlatives list on a homeschooling forum.  You remember superlatives, right?  Best Smile, Most Gullible, Super Senior, etc.  Well, these are for the yearbook of the past years' reading.  So, without further ado....

2012 Year in Reading Superlatives

What was the best new (to you) author you discovered this year?
A tough decision, as I found so many new authors this year! I am going to go with Janice Holt Giles

What was your favorite new (to you) series?
Bess Crawford Mysteries, by Charles Todd

Best parenting book?
Only read one, an Ebook "True Christian Motherhood" by June Fuentes. It was ok.  Mainly just a series of blog posts, at least that is how it read.

Book that made you cry?
None of them did

Book that made you laugh out loud?
I am sure something must have, but I can't recall it now. Must not have been all that funny.

Book that totally changed your perspective on something?

Maybe Hard Times in Paradise, by David and Micki Colfax.  They were VERY politically liberal, and I am.....not.  Reminded me that we don't have to agree on everything to agree on some very important things.

Best homeschool(ing) book?
Hard Times In Paradise, by David and Micki Colfax.  By the way, one of the best homeschooling books EVER.  Back to the basics, before homeschooling was such a trendy thing to do.

Worst book that you managed to finish?
I had two with only 1 star - Fairy Tail Interrupted: What JFK Jr. Taught Me About Life, Love and Loss by RoseMarie Terenzio (just never liked the author at all), and Six Horse Hitch by Janice Holt Giles. Loved most of her books, but this one was just too melodramatic.

Book with the best surprise plot twist?
The Hidden Flower, by Pearl S. Buck. I always think I know how her stories are going to go, and they never go that way.

Best book-that-was-better-than-the-movie?
The Hunger Games

Most over-hyped book of the year?
The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels. Very disappointed. Lame, lame, lame.

Best online-reader recommendation of the year?
I don't think I got any I really enjoyed from individuals this year, most of them came from goodreads, or even better, www.fantasticfiction.com

Book you have recommended to the most people this year?
The American Diabetes Association Complete Guide to Diabetes

Best feel-good book of the year?
Our Boys: A Perfect Season on the Plains with the Smith Center Redmen by Joe Draper

Best childrens/young adult book of the year?
A tie:  The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. A re-read, read aloud with my younger boys; and Hittite Warrior, by Joanne Williamson.  I read it with the older boys for school.

Book you’ve been meaning to read for years and finally got to?
Evidence Not Seen: A Woman's Miraculous Faith in the Jungles of WWII by Darlene Deibler Rose

Read aloud that the family enjoyed the most?
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Best cookbook/knitting/gardening/or other household how-to?
Complete Guide to Carb Counting by Hope S. Warshaw

Best non-fiction?
Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susanah Cahalan, or Our Boys: A Perfect Season on the Plains with the Smith Center Redmen by Joe Draper

Best religion/theology/doctrine/philosophy?
Practical Theology for Women by Wendy Horger Alsup.  Her blog is in my blogroll, over to the right.


Best political book?
Didn't read one.  Sick of it.

All-around best story of the year?
The Believers by Janice Holt Giles

Book that you feel is SO INTEGRAL to your library……you’d even pay full price for it?
I paid full price for a couple - most notably, Practical Theology for Women

And the Award for Best All-Around Book of the Year is Presented To……………
Hannah Fowler, by Janice Holt Giles

5 Star Books 

I rate my books 1-5, and so does Goodreads.  I had a whole bunch of 4 Stars, but only a handful are worthy of that 5th star.  These were the books this year that earned my coveted 5 Star rating:

Hannah Fowler, by Janice Holt Giles

The Believers, by Janice Holt Giles

Hard Times in Paradise, by David and Mickey Colfax

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, by C.S. Lewis

Hittite Warrior by Joanne Williamson

The American Diabetes Association Complete Guide to Diabetes

__________________

Fiov

Status Report, Book Log for November, etc.

Sitting…in my big recliner.

Drinking…coffee. Stevia in the Raw sweetener, and a touch of Coffeemate Caramel Machiatto.

Complaining…mentally about not complaining.  I had a big, silly, self-centered day of shopping planned.  I had gotten money for my birthday, and was going to just go and have a day of it.  Then one of my kids began throwing up last night.  So, I realize that scrapping my silly, self-centered plans for the day is not a big deal.  And I am not complaining.  But I would like to.  Does that make sense?

Realizing…that complaining about anything is a useless waste of time, and more importantly, is not pleasing to the Lord.

Convicted…that I should really be quiet and get over myself.  

Reading…nothing right now - though I have A Beautiful Blue Death by Charles Finch on the table next to me.  I will probably start it today.  I get all excited when I am trying out a new author for the first time.  

Anticipating…going on a family road trip soon, as long as no one else starts barfing.

Listening…to the dryer on "fluff" now, as it is full of throw pillows from the sofa.  Where the barfer was sitting last night.  Just saying, you fill in the blanks.

Almost ready…for my science co-op tomorrow, which is a shame, because if the barfer is not 100% better in a few hours (and no one else is sick) I will be cancelling.

Wondering…if I am going to get sick, too.

Thankful…that my life is such that we can re-arrange for sickness, etc.  Thankful that we homeschool, and that our business is in our home, so I don't have the stress of having to be somewhere else.  Also thankful that as I get older I am learning to "go with the flow" more.  

Ready…for whatever the Lord brings my way today!

And now, since I read so few books last month, I might as well just pile these posts together!

November

A Duty to the Dead - Charles Todd - 4 (out of 5) - first in the Bess Crawford mystery series.  Bess is an English nurse serving in World War I.  While home recuperating from an injury, she takes a deathbed message from one of her patients to his family.  There she finds a mystery, an family secret surrounding a murder, and a few more suspicious deaths.  I would say that if you like the Laurie R. King "Mary Russell/Sherlock Holmes" books you will probably enjoy this one as well. 

A Shilling For Candles - Josephine Tey -3 - this is only the second Tey that I have read. She wrote in the same time period as Agatha Christie, so her books have that sort of feel to them.  Lots of characters, at some points it was hard for me to keep track of who the minor players were.  

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - C.S. Lewis - 4 - a read aloud with my younger boys.  Always like Narnia, this is one of my favorites.

And that is it!  I picked up and put down lots of books, and really just had a hard time finishing anything.  I am blaming it on too much social media.

Saturday on the Homestead

It has been a very nice, very relaxed week.  Nevin has spent the last two weekends deer hunting.  This is the last weekend of rifle season, so he is gone for a few more days.  So far Ben got one during youth season, and Nevin got three last weekend.  Our freezers are filling up!  We did some processing this week, and for those who don't get all squeamish over fresh meat, here are picks from our activities!

Nevin and Ben, hard at work.  They cut up the meat out here, I package and label it inside.

Everyone gets in on the project.

I love having a full freezer, and I especially love that we have done it all ourselves.  Looking forward to some good eating this winter!

Happy Birthday to My Twenty Year Old Self

My friend Anne at Not A Supermom posted this earlier this week - a letter to her twenty-year-old self.  There is a linky thing on her website so that you can blog on the same topic and link it to others who have done the same.

I don't have a good picture of my twenty-year-old self right now.  Maybe later.

But, without further ado, here is the birthday letter:

Dear Paula,

Happy 20th birthday, December 2nd, 1985.  Tonight you are going to go out with some friends, drink cheap draft beer and overall have a pretty good time. Your life is generally a mess, it is true, but right now you have a smidgen of hope.  You moved out of the dorm, you have joined a sorority and living in the house.  Basically, you have done another "geographic."  You don't know that term yet, but you will in 1993.  A geographic is when you move from one place to another, thinking that if you could just get away from there, then everything would be fine.  Problem is, you keep taking you with you.  You have a few more geographics to come, but that is later.

For today, I am glad you are happy.  You just came home from Thanksgiving break, your father bought you a beautiful bright blue wool coat.  All is fine.  A few more weeks of school, finals and then Christmas break at home.  Christmas parties are being planned with your sorority sisters, possibilities are in the air.  Enjoy today, because in eight days it is all going to collapse.

On December 10, your mom is going to call.  Your father and brother are going to be in a terrible accident.  Your little brother is going to be physically okay, but the scars are going to go deep.  Your dad, on the other hand is going to be in persistent vegetative state for the next 7 1/2 years.

And you, Paula, are going to fall apart.  Over the cliff, no holds barred, freefall.

If I could give you one piece of advice right now, it would be, "Whatever you think is a good idea, do the opposite."  Every choice you make is going to be wrong.  Literally, every.single.one.  I would love to tell you about how the Lord is going to preserve you, but I don't know that you would listen to religious talk.  You have been to church, done all that.  Didn't work.  I know.  But listen to this - there are going to be some dark, dark moments coming up - times when you honestly don't think you can go on another day.  And something - someone - some small remnant of a Sunday School lesson or a sermon or a hymn from long ago is going to give you just enough to keep going.  Just enough.

You are going to pull yourself up by your bootstraps a few times, take those geographic cures several times, and in the meantime you will finish college, and go through a series of jobs.  You will leave a path of wreckage behind you, like a tornado whirling through peoples' lives.

Be nicer to your mom and your grandma, by the way.  They are going to pull you butt out of the fire more times than you can count.  Appreciate them more.

But hey -it isn't all gloom in doom.

In late June of 1993 you will finally reach the end of your rope.  You've tied a knot and hung on so many times, and at 27 you are too tired and too worn out to do it anymore.

And finally, FINALLY - you will be broken enough.  And God will save you.  He will take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.  You will cry out to him with this new heart and repent.  

And it is all different.  Suddenly, it really is.  You will quit drinking.  You will see life through new eyes.  You aren't going to realize at the time that this, this moment, is when God saves you.  You are still deluded by the theology of your youth, that walk-the-aisle-repeat-the-prayer notion of salvation.  That is going to lead you on a spiritual journey to understand what salvation really means.  But, maybe another letter.  When you are forty or so!

In July of 1993 Daddy will die, never having woke up from the permanent vegetative state.  The night before is the last time you will drink or use a drug up to and including today - over 19 years so far.  Not bad for someone who couldn't go more than a day or so for years and years.

You are going to make new friends.  You are going to meet him.  The real HIM, that God has for you.  You will build a life together, build a home, build a family, be part of a community.

You are going to homeschool your four (yes four, I am not joking!) sons.

Yes, it is legal.  No, you won't worry about socialization.

Your husband (his name is Nevin, don't go looking for him now though, he is a big mess at twenty, too) is going to build you a little house out in the forest, with his own two hands.  He is going to grow into a Godly man, and he is going to lead you.  Yes, lead you.  You will understand later, don't start panicking now.  It is going to be good.

Life will not always be perfect, as the world sees perfect.  The house is going to get crowded and messy, the kids are loud (you cannot imagine how loud four boys can be), you will own your own business and that is going to have its' ups and downs and lots of stress.

But Paula, the Lord is good.  He is merciful, and his grace and mercy have no end.  God is going to reveal himself to you, over and over, and it is good.

It is good.

Can You Be Grateful All Month Long?

November is always the Thanksgiving month, the gratitude, the thankful month.  A whole month of gratitude?  We should certainly be grateful every single day for our blessings. But (always that "but") - how often do I find myself ungrateful, or grumbling, or complaining?  Any is too often.  Whatever is in the Believer's life is there because the Lord has allowed it.  All the Lord does is good.  He is sovereign, He is all-knowing.  For me, sinful and with extremely limited knowledge to complain or grumble about what he has given me is..well, it is ludicrous!

I just looked in my concordance for verses on thanks, thanksgiving, and all forms of blessings.  Way too many to list - that can be your project for today - look up a few of those verses and meditate on them!  It is going to be mine.

If we are to give thanks always, maybe focusing on it every day -through this little blog- could be a way to start.  To get in practice, as it were.

And I am already three days behind!

I can start off with gratitude to my Lord, Jesus Christ, for my salvation.  Here is a section of Psalm I read a few weeks ago that has plastered itself to my heart:
Some were fools through their sinful ways,
and because of their iniquities suffered affliction;
they loathed any kind of food,
and they drew near to the gates of death.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He sent out his word and healed them,
and delivered them from their destruction.
Let them thank the LORD for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man.
And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving,
and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!
Psalm 107:17-22

That was me, dying and miserable in my sin, and the Lord reached down and softened this hard heart of stone, gave me a heart of flesh that I could have faith in Him.  He saved me, plain and simple.  Through no works of mine (so I can't boast!) but strictly by His mercy.

Day 2, for my wonderful family - Nevin and the guys.  I never dreamed of the life I would have, and some days I just wake up amazed at what the Lord has done.  This life is not perfect in the sense that the world uses - often the work is hard, the money is tight, and sometimes people just plain get on my nerves.  But, this is where God has put me, and even on days where I am struggling, I stop and realize that this blessing, this family, is so much more than I ever thought possible.


Monday was our 18th anniversary. Some years have been harder than others, but it has always been an adventure.  When I married Nevin I was one who never thought "outside the box".  I would have bought a newer house, with the income from my 8-5 job (where you got a regular paycheck with benefits), had 1.6 children, and done all the things you are just supposed to do.  Nevin not only thinks outside the box, I don't know if he'd recognize a box if he met it.  He was self-employed when I met him, and except for a brief foray into regular employment (because he knew I really wanted him to get a regular job, I think) he has always been.  He has gutted a very old house and made it our home, then he built this house in the middle of a forest.  He built a business, and then convinced me to leave my regular job and work with him.  Live in the forest, own a business, homeschool the kids, raise chickens, process your own deer meat....crazy, I know.  But here we are.  Anything is possible, and there are opportunities everywhere.  

He is deer hunting this weekend, so maybe absence makes the heart fonder!  But truly, I am so grateful for the husband God gave me, how he follows the Lord and leads us.

And for today.....grateful that I am almost done grading lab reports for my science co-op!  And so very grateful to see that they seem to be getting it, in spite of the somewhat haphazard instruction they are getting.

So, today, start practicing daily gratitude - let's do it together!  After a month, hopefully it will be instant and automatic!

Reading Log for October, 2012

I only read three books this month - I am having a terrible time FINISHING any lately!

The Moonstone - Wilkie Collins - 2 - considered the first (and the longest) of the English detective novels.  Mr. Collins seems to have a cult following.  It took me two months to finish 500+ pages.  I had a hard time staying focused.  And....I knew who did it.

Hiss and Hers: An Agatha Raisin Mystery - M.C. Beaton - 4 - okay, so sue me, I liked this better.  Read it in about 24 hours.  Now, have to hold on a few months until the next Hamish Macbeth comes out, then another 11 months until we see Agatha again.

Contending: Defending the Faith in a Fallen World - Aaron Armstrong - 3 - pretty good.  Cruciform Press publishes short, to-the-point books on weighty subjects.  They have a subscription service, where you pay as each new book is published every other month.  So far I have thoroughly enjoyed them.  This was a little slower going for me that some of the others.

And that is IT.  I am planning to make up for it over Thanksgiving!

To Facebook or Not To Facebook...

I am seriously considering getting back on Facebook.

Yes, I said it.

I have been off for ten months.  Have I missed anything in that time?  Well, I have missed keeping up with some friends that don't live near me, or that I don't see regularly.  That is definitely a loss.

I have also missed out on political one-liners that get on my nerves, seeing parties or outings that I didn't know about, and being irritated with people who put on a fake face for the world to see.  That is definitely a gain.

I have gained the time I used to spend looking at Facebook on my phone.  If something really exciting happens Nevin or Tony (who are on Facebook) will tell me, anyway.

I thought I would do better at sending emails (maybe even real cards) to those friends I kept in touch with on  FB, but it hasn't happened so far.

What to do, what to do.....

Status Report for October

Copied from: Kim, at The Upward Call

Sitting:  at the coffee table with my laptop.

Thinking:  the boys better get up if they want breakfast before Bible study.

Sensing:  that I will have to get off the computer and go pull them out of bed.

Wondering:  if I can just mentally will them to get out of bed.

Debating:  whether to make Chicken Enchilada Casserole of Alice Springs Chicken for dinner tonight.  Both recipes come from Pinterest (note, below on your right, you can follow me there).  

Wishing:  someone would magically show up with dinner tonight.

Asking myself:  why I moved to the country where no one delivers.

Oh, yeah, this is why we moved.

Deciding:  to go with Alice Springs tonight, and make the casserole tonight for dinner tomorrow.  Glad that is settled.

Telling anyone who wants to know:  that I woke up this morning and did my individual Bible study and did (most of) my wii fit exercise, and I am ready to face the day.

Glad:  that my dvd of Richard Simmons Sweatin' to Disco (something like that) is supposed to arrive from Amazon today..

Perplexed: at why everyone doesn't like Richard Simmons.

Hoping: that the weather will be good this weekend for Rockport Baptist Church's Family Camp!

Counting on:  a good time of fellowship, no matter what the weather may bring.

Thanking God: for my husband and sons, our home, the beautiful weather outside my window today, plenty of food and overall good health, the opportunity to share in my sons' education today.

Looking forward:  to Family Camp!

Tasting:  my freshly brewed coffee, and already considering my breakfast options!