A Life Redeemed

A Five Thousand Year Leap

2012-01-28T14:48:00.000-06:00

At least it seems that way to me. Last night I got a laptop. I was up until after 1 a.m. setting it up (okay, playing with it). Wow. I now have my Quikbooks for the business installed on it, and it is connected via wi-fi to the printer, so I can sit at the kitchen table and work, instead of having to be in the office/schoolroom all by myself. While I was figuring that out, I figured out how to hook that printer via wi-fi to the desktop in the office/schoolroom. Now I can put the OTHER printer in storage and re-claim about 2' of desk area.

This is all so exciting.

I am going to put the boys' math (Teaching Textbooks) on the laptop as well....at some point, so they can use it for their schoolwork, instead of the computer in my bedroom. I may actually get to clean all their stuff out of my bedroom!

I know this may sound crazy, but this has been a really big day for me. Next I am going to go smoke some meat for dinner in my big electric smoker.

Life is all good.

It's Monday - What Are You Reading This Week?

2012-01-23T17:24:00.001-06:00

Two books I started in the last week and then put back down: Confessions of a Prairie B*, by Alison Arngrim, which I almost couldn't start because of the title. Once I started it though, I decided that it probably wasn't worth my time. I had read Melissa Gilbert's tell-all a few years ago, and I regret the loss of the hours of my life spent on that book. This one is shorter, but still......

My bookmark is still moving slowly through Don't Waste Your Life, by John Piper. It is something I usually read in the morning, along with my Bible and devotional reading. So, it may take a while.

This weekend I started the newest Flavia De Luce mystery I Am Half-Sick of Shadows, by Alan Bradley. And today I received a lovely box from Amazon which contained Organized Simplicity: The Clutter-Free Approach to Intentional Living by Tsh Oxenreider (why doesn't her first name have any vowels????).

I also put back Death At Wentwater Court by Carola Dunn.

It reminded me slightly of Her Royal Spyness mysteries, but just not as fun. So back into the bag it went. I also read a few pages of Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio. I don't know what I was thinking. I tossed that back into the library bag as well.

Hmmm, that was three books, not two. Getting picky I guess. But really, you need to be. There is only so much time available for reading, and I refuse to waste that time on a bad book. And that is that!

I will post some reviews on my monthly round up.

And what is YOUR bookmark moving through this week?

It's Monday! What are you reading this week?

2012-01-16T11:48:00.000-06:00

I finished The Importance of Being Seven last week, and also read The Blind Side by Michael Lewis. I will give complete reviews in my monthly round-up, but one got two stars and the other got four.

This week I continue with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban as a read aloud with the older boys, and the younger boys and I finished Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (four stars) and started Stuart Little. I am also reading a short ebook, True Christian Motherhood by June Fuentes and I started Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper last night. Don't Waste Your Life is one of my "goal" books for this year.

A lot of variety there - and what are YOU reading???

The Story of Esther

2012-01-15T14:56:00.000-06:00

A great big, really hairy, really friendly cat showed up at our home last fall. She wandered over to our house in mid-November, while we were processing deer. This is a wonderful time for all the outside cats, as they are tossed pieces of fresh venison to eat. They also like to sniff around the skins, fight and wrestle and pretend they are themselves great hunters.

Hunter the Kitten, going after a fresh venison skin

Anyway, so we have this really big, really hairy cat hanging around our house now. Living out in the forest we do get a lot of stray animals wandering by. And usually, that is all they do - wander by. They generally won't let you near them, but will sneak up and eat food when they think you aren't looking.

Not so with this girl, who we promptly named, "Big and Hairy" (our family is not particularly clever with words). She came right up to you, wanted to be held, and purred, my goodness.

Please note that the injured left paw is now completely healed

So, she hung around, and we began to get used to her. Then, on November 17, Nevin called me from the road. I've gotten these calls before. We live out in the country, but our driveway comes off a state road that seems to get it's fair share of fast drivers. He just wanted to let me know that, "Big and Hairy is up on the road."

Well, shoot. So, I get dressed, get a bag and an old towel to wrap the body in, and head up. I see her lying in the road, right between my driveway and the neighbors. I am thinking about how I really don't feel like digging a cat grave this morning, and pondering different means of disposal.

And she turns her head and looks at me.

So I run over and check her out - one paw all bent over, blood on the eyes, nose and mouth. I assume she has some internal injuries and is probably getting ready to die, so I wrap her in the towel and take her home. I clean her up and wipe her face. No more blood. Hmmmm, odd. So, I sit with her in my lap for a while, just rocking and waiting to see what happens.

Now, some of you may think I am cold and callous because I didn't get the kids up and dressed and drive into town to a vet to do immediate exploratory surgery. I am going on the record as saying that I am, truly, a cat lover. However, if I rescued every stray cat that wandered past the homestead, I would need to take a second job to pay for it. In the country, cats come and go with a fair regularity, and that is just the way it is.

Back to the story. Nothing is happening with the cat, but she smells really bad, and I do have other things to do. So I wrap her in the towel on a rug by the back door and let her sleep in the sun. Meanwhile, Vivien, my Princess indoor cat, is losing her mind. I am not sure that Vivien understands that she is a cat, just like the ones outside, but whoever she thinks she is, she was NOT happy.

Big and Hairy slept for approximately 15 hours. That night I moved all Vivien's food and litterbox out of the schoolroom into the laundry room, and put Big and Hairy in there for the night.

And she is still with us. She looks sort of Persian, so I named her Esther. She has completely recovered, with only a very slight limp when she runs. She has made her home under our shed. I tried to set her up in a nicer place, put blankets and food in a doghouse, but she wanted nothing to do with it. She lives under the shed. Every morning she is out on the front porch with the other cats, waiting for breakfast. When she hears me outside during the day she comes running to be picked up. She loves to be held and petted. She has managed to acclimate herself to the other cats as well.

We have since learned that in her previous life, her name was Ashley, and she is 13 years old. I cannot imagine a cat living out by us that long - between the road, coyotes and stray dogs. But there she is.

And now she is Esther. Nevin says she looks like an Ashley. She might look like an Ashley, but she is my Esther. So our family has expanded to four cats - Daisy and her son Hunter on the front porch, Vivien (Daisy's daughter) inside the house, and Esther the queen, under the shed.

Vivien, the Princess inside the house. She does not mingle with the riff-raff on the front porch.

Esther, always ready to eat. Notice the left paw.

Esther and Hunter have learned to live together in harmony.

Daisy looks on in disdain. She is really the one who thinks she is royalty around here!

Mice and vermin, beware!

Homeschool Snow Days

2012-01-14T07:22:00.000-06:00

Snow throws the schedule into disarray. It always does. I have often noted that it ONLY snowed on days that I had to be at work (back in my employment-for-money days). Then it ONLY snowed on days I really needed to get to the shop (back in the days when I worked-for-free at my husband's cabinet shop).

Now I suppose it will only snow on the days when I have fun things planned to do, since my husband works from a shop at home and I can work from the desk in the school room.

We got our first snowfall of the season early Thursday morning. There was maybe an inch in some of the drifts. Enough to make the back roads where I live hazardous, so I chose not to leave the house at all.

But this little bit was enough to throw my school plans into disarray. I got the boys up with the promise that if they hurried up and ate and fed the animals they could play outside BEFORE school. Usually, I would at least attempt to make them do some bookwork first, but it is a losing battle. And besides, the sun was shining and I was afraid it would melt. Would YOU want to be the mom who made them do school while the only snow all winter melted? No, I didn't want that on my tombstone, either.

And so, here they are. This is the slope off our driveway, which ends in the woods. I am always waiting for it it end with someone slamming into a tree, but in nine years they haven't broken any bones.

Getting ready to go again. The figure on the right is my husband, getting ready to videotape.

Henry is ready for the snowboard.

Joe makes everything look easy.

They look so young. These guys are 11 and 13, 5'3" and 5'11", respectively. But everyone is a little kid when they are out in the snow.

Afterwards, hot chocolate, lunch, some book work. The local school district also had a snow day, so the boys next door came over and sledded down our hill, then they all went inside for a wii tournament, followed by xbox at the neighbors' house.

We got the really important stuff done, anyway!

A Cold Morning In the Henhouse

2012-01-12T14:45:00.000-06:00

We got a little bit of snow and ice last night - maybe an inch - nothing for around here. But, it is blowing and cold (in the 20s) and there is still flurries....flurrying...around . I went out this morning to check on the hens, and most likely, break the ice on their waterers.

Look who got locked in the house last night. He must have already snuck in before we closed the house up for the night.

Rule #1 - LOOK inside the house before you lock it up. Need to remind Eldest Son of this rule again!

Yep, playing dead, the little possum is. Now I know why my hens were hollering this morning!

Not so cute when you can see his evil eyes, sharp teeth, and hear him hissing at you.

He hadn't killed any chickens (Praise God!). I think the little ones aren't quite ready to take on a full-grown hen yet. They mainly eat the eggs and the chicken food.

The hens are not at all pleased. Not at all.

He stayed out there all morning. I chucked a few rocks in at him and was rewarded with the evil hissing and snarling. He did not want to come out in the daylight - I think he was just going to stay in there all day, then mosey on out when it got dark.

But, alas (for him) Nevin came home and shot him.

The moral to this story - unless you are invited, you better stay out of my henhouses!

Good Morning, Monday! Where Is Your Bookmark Today?

2012-01-09T08:46:00.000-06:00

I finished Free Land last week - excellent book, highly recommended to any Little House on the Prairie, A Lantern In Her Hand, O Pioneer! or Mrs. Mike fans.

If you don't recognize any of those titles, run, don't walk, to your library. Now!

This week I am reading The Importance of Being Seven, Book 6 in the 44 Scotland Street series by Alexander McCall Smith. Mr. Smith is more famous for his No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series, but I may even enjoy this one more. The series is actually published as a serial in a Scottish newspaper. It follows the lives of the inhabitants of 44 Scotland Street.

I will put a more thorough review of the book in my monthly reading log - after I have finished it! I actually had to go to the trouble of getting this one inter-library loan, and so far it is worth it.

I have gotten crazy on http://www.goodreads.com/ this week - I am not completely certain how the "friending" works there, but if you are there, please let me know and we can be friends! I have a long "to be read" list now, based on their recommendations. Just another fun website to while away valuable time on, but it does eliminate two logs I was maintaining, my "to be read" list and my "what I read this year" list. I have a link down on the right, with my current reads and a link to some of my favorite books.

Happy reading - let me know what you are reading this week!

Good Morning, Monday! Where do you have a bookmark this week?

2012-01-02T08:41:00.000-06:00

I took down and put away a couple books yesterday, trying to decide what to start next. I was about 1/3 of the way into The Paris Wife by Paula McBain, a fictionalized account of the marriage of Ernest Hemingway and Hadley Richardson. Just couldn't get into it. Back into the library bag it goes.

I decided to pull a book off my shelves - and the winnah this week is Free Land, by Rose Wilder Lane. I have been meaning to read this for a while. A few years ago I read all the "Rose" Little House books by Roger Lea MacBride. Highly fictionalized, of course, but in the same writing style as the original LH books (also highly fictionalized, but we won't grind that axe today - I love them anyway!). After I read the "Rose" books, I read quite a few collections of hers and Laura's writings (Laura wrote a newspaper column for years). I especially loved Rose's collections of short stories in Old Home Town. Sort of Little Town on the Prairie - the Dark Side.

Anyway, I am going to read Free Land, which is about pioneers on the Plains. I am looking forward to it. My bookmark is also moving through Things We Wished We'd Known, which is a compilation of articles on homeschooling (I read it several years ago, this is just a re-read) and a couple devotionals.

My review of Free Land will be on the January reading log.

So......what is your bookmark moving through this week?

December, 2011 Reading Log

2012-01-01T15:04:00.000-06:00

Some of these showed up in my Superlatives list, but here is the final and complete list for the year.
74. Of Thee I Zing – 3.5 – Laura Ingraham – Political. Just a collection of her observations on our culture. Generally witty, often right-on, some I thought overly-critical, sometimes just awfully opinionated (but I guess that is the point!). I cannot believe she really goes up to strangers and is as rude as she says she is.

75. Sick of Shadows: An Edwardian Murder Mystery – 3.5 – Period mystery. Not a great as the first two. A lot of the storyline revolves around misunderstandings, messages being thrown in the fire instead of delivered, etc. That gets tiresome. Also, the way the bad guys got their comeuppance was way too contrived, and I just didn’t buy the backstory on the murderers. Lots of missing pieces. Something else I have noticed in these books – lots of typos. I admit to marking and correcting a couple in the last book (it was a library book, so I shouldn’t have, but I could not help it). In this book, though – someone beat me to it. Corrections penciled in. I think there are only 4 books in the series, and I have the 4th, so hopefully it wraps up the storylines and doesn’t just end with a cliffhanger.

76. Our Lady of Pain: An Edwardian Murder Mystery – 3.75 – Period mystery. Last in the series, and the loose ends all tied up!

77. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever – 5 – Barbara Robinson – Childrens book. one of my favorite Christmas stories ever. This year I got to share it as a read aloud with my younger boys. Hey! Unto you a child is born!

78. Lord Is It Warfare? Teach Me To Stand – 5 – Kay Arthur – Bible study on spirtual warfare. I did this over the course of about 6 months with a small group of ladies. Excellent, life-changing. I highly recommend, and look forward to doing more of her studies.

79. A Crimson Warning: A Lady Emily Mystery – 3 – Tasha Alexander. Period mystery. I think I may be done with Lady Emily. She is getting dull, and the story on this one got very convoluted.

80. As The Pig Turns: An Agatha Raisin Mystery – 3.5 – M.C. Beaton – Cozy mystery. Okay mystery, not one of the better ones.

81. Wonderland Creek – 4 – Lynn Austin – Christian fiction. Allie is a librarian in Illinois in 1936. Her whole world is books – to the point where she doesn’t have a real life. A few unexpected events lead her on an adventure to Appalachia to deliver donated books to a rural area. There she is stranded, and caught up in a completely unfamiliar life of feuds, closed coal mines, and lack of 20th century conveniences. An interesting story about living the life and doing the work that God has called you to do.

82. Chosen by God – 5 – R.C. Sproul – Theology. Explanation of the Doctrines of Grace. Took me a long time to get through, because it is not something you can skim – you have to pay attention. It also cries out for lots of highlighting and re-reading.

And Christmas is OVER!

2011-12-31T14:57:00.000-06:00

That is right - the tree is down, everything is dusted, the floor is swept and Christmas 2011 is in the history books. But, before we leave it altogether (and head out for a New Year's Eve party), let's look at some of the highlights.

Always, always, the Twin City Educators' Mom Christmas Party is a night to be remembered.

Everyone has eaten their fill of appetizers and desserts, and now we are gathering 'round for the gift exchange.

Now, our gift exchange is not a simple choosing of names, or matching numbers. No, we steal. We plot. We strategize. All this, for gifts that are still wrapped. That's right, we are stealing packages, and we don't have any idea of what is inside. So what do we do?

We shake.

And listen, hefting the weight back and forth.

Look at that, Suzy is shaking her own gift, just to throw us off. Clever, clever girl.

When we are done, everyone opens theirs one at a time.

Here is mine - I love it!

Thanks, Kris - you did good! This is something I will treasure forever.

So now, off to prepare to ring in the new year. The guys are all in back doing some target practice with rifles and pistols. I already had my turn, you may see pictures of that, you may not!

Family Christmas pictures will be up as soon as I get them all cropped/cleaned.

Happy New Year!

Reading Goals, Anyone?

2011-12-30T16:37:00.000-06:00

I try not to do resolutions. However, I am a list-maker, and do subscribe to the "tomorrow is another day" philosophy of planning, so I end up with goals, lists, resolutions.

Some, I do really well with. This year I did well with my closet project. That's the one where I hang up my clothes in order that I wore them, and when I switch out the closet for the seasons, all the things that didn't get worn need to leave. I managed to keep that up for a year now, and actually have gotten rid of a lot of clothing.

The personal health and fitness goals......not so hot. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

Reading goals, though - those I usually manage wonderfully. My goal is always 100 books a year, which I have determined is unrealistic (though I did make it several years in a row). This year I am up to 83, and still one day left!

The quantity should not be important, though - the quality is the key. Now, I do like to read fun books - especially cozy mysteries, usually set in England. Usually there is very little gore, the victim is found bludgeoned, or poisoned, or with a single bullet-hole through the forehead. No dismemberment, or very few, anyway. I can read one of these in about 24 hours, so that has racked up the numbers the last few years.

For a few years I tried to do a classic a month, and that was a lot of fun, until I ran out of classics that I wanted to read. Once I got past A Tale of Two Cities and Pride and Prejudice, and started heading into Moby Dick and The Odyssey, my interest level dropped. Considerably.

One thing I keep hearing over and over is to read GOOD books that are PROFITABLE to me. I am assuming that anyone who says that does not consider Agatha Raisin or Hamish Macbeth mysteries to be either good or profitable. Whatever.

But I do realize that a steady diet of Oreos, no matter how tasty, does not make for good health. And books add to my (and your) intellectual health. I have shelves of healthy books that have not been touched, while the Oreo books have been making a steady trek from the library to the house and back. So, today I made a list of "Ten Theological Books To Read In 2012". These all come from my own collection, and we have owned all of them except two for at least a year.

And now, without further ado, here are my "Ten Theological Books To Read In 2012":
(not in any particular order)

Don't Waste Your Life - John Piper
A Praying Life - Paul E. Miller
Spiritual Depression - Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones
Desiring God - John Piper
First Christians - Paul Maier
Early Christian Writings - a collection of writings of Clement, Ignatious and Polycarp
The Church of the East - ed. John Holzman
Mere Christianity - C.S. Lewis
Surprised By Joy - C.S. Lewis
Knowing God - J.I. Packer

A couple of these are pretty iffy - Early Christian Writings being "least likely to get read". But we'll see. These are goals, not mandates, after all.

Next, I am going to make a list of ten other books, fiction and non-fiction, that are on my shelves collecting dust. I think I have some great books - I just need to get my lazy brain to reading them.

But I am not going to make that list today. After all, tomorrow is another day.

A "Periodic Evaluation" For The School Year To Date

2011-12-28T13:19:00.000-06:00

In the great state of Missouri (and I do actually think it is great!) we homeschoolers have to do what the law calls "periodic evaluations". What form this takes is left up to the parents. How often a "period" occurs is also left up to the parent. I try to do them twice a year, at the end of the fall "semester" (ie, Christmas!) and at the end of the "school year" (ie, sometime in May or June).

Mine are in the form of a brief paragraph or two on each subject. I just write down what grade they are getting (though I only grade in science and math), what we are using for each subject, and how they are doing, generally in comparison to last year.

I wrote up the two older boys' a few days ago, and I still need to do the two younger ones. I have found it helpful to do these evaluations (even though I balk at anybody telling me I HAVE to do anything!) because it gives me time to pause, reflect, and do my own evaluations.

If one of the boys is not progressing - why? Is it them? Is it the curriculum? Or is it me?

So....what is working, what isn't working, what can we do differently?

Science is going great. I am doing my first-ever co-op this year. We are using Apologia's General Science course. Every Wednesday morning, 14 students ranging in age from 10-15 gather in my breakfast area to review what they read the week before, do the experiments, and hopefully learn something. We also manage to get in some socialization for those poor homeschool kids who never get to leave the house (yes, that was sarcasm).

Look at this crew!

Science experiments in the kitchen, how much more traditional can you get?

We do let them out occasionally - this is a field trip the St. Louis University Medical School

Getting ready to dissect a sheep brain.

And how about that socialization, anyway? One of the moms made a cookie cake to celebrate some birthdays - mine and Britney's.

So, as the pictures demonstrate (!) science is going well. Having something that we HAVE to do consistently is helping with our other schoolwork as well. The older boys are doing above-average in most subjects. We have been lacking, I fear, in language arts this year. We did a unit on poetry and have done a little grammar. That is going to be added in and get a little more focus the rest of the year. Same for the younger boys. They are harder, though, because they need me for everything, while the older boys can do most of their work on their own.

It's all this socialization, I'm telling you. We go-go alot. Probably too much. I don't plan to cut back on "real" field trips, chess club, that sort of thing (ie, things I can log hours for). But....we have been having an awful lot of fun. Not that having fun is all bad, I am for fun, I promise. However, as it gets colder and the weather grows yuckier, I think it will be easier to stay hunkered down at home more, and to focus on getting more "book work" done.

Such as grammar.

It is like this most years, though. The first half of the year the weather is good, there are holidays and parties. From January to the end of March, it will be cold and usually wet or overcast. A good time to do school. Then in April and May it gets nice, and our focus can go back to more social events.

We always manage to get in all our hours (1,000 hours that must be logged in Missouri per calendar year). We don't always manage to finish all our books. But what doesn't get done this year either a)gets done next year or b)really wasn't all that important, anyway.

And with the short amount of time we have, I'd like to do what is important. Sometimes we just have to figure out what that is!

So, what did you do today?

2011-12-26T18:23:00.000-06:00

I have accomplished next to nothing today. We watched The Incredibles (my favorite movie) and I thought about how I'd like my hair cut like ElastiGirl's. That is a sad state of affairs, when you really want your hair like a cga character.

Then we watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I don't want my hair like Hermione's.

Now we are watching Blindside. I could actually get my hair like Sandra Bullock's, but not blond (though really, neither is she). Of course, she is like a size 2 and the whole effect will be different.

I do like how her nails are always pale matte color in the movie, though. That is classy. I could manage that.

I read most of a book (Wonderland Creek, by Lynn Austin. So far, it is okay. Started good, but is meandering. Full review in the December reading log), texted with friends (so what are you doing. nothing. me neither.), and ate candy. Why did they buy me so much candy, anyway?

Nevin went hunting. I am considering cleaning the kitchen, making a meal of leftovers and doing some laundry. I will have to let you know how that worked out.

I don't do well with a lot of days off. I did make a list, but very little of it got done today. Tomorrow I promise to be motivated, to accomplish much and to make the best use of my time.

Tomorrow.

Don't you wish I still had Facebook to share all this mindless jabber with?

The 2011 Reading Log Superlatives! (Or, My Year In Books)

2011-12-26T12:17:00.002-06:00

These are some of the books I have read this year - and I would like to hear about what you have read! Take some time, think it over, if you have anything really good you want to finish, please do so! But share your best of the best (and worst of the worst!)! All categories are not applicable to all readers, and I know some of these categories may overlap - actually, your best-of-the-best will most likely show up twice! So, pick and choose which apply from your own list.

And the winners are........

Best History:
Bohhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxes. I originally gave this 4.5 out of 5, only because parts of it bogged down in the middle. I know the discussion of politics and parties in Germany was crucial to the story, but it was hard for me to follow. I actually had to set the book aside for a bit and read something light and come bask to it later. Overall, though, an incredibly well-done biography of one of the great heroes of the faith. My runner up is Jesus, Made in America: A Cultural History From the Puritans to The Passion of the Christ by Stephen J. Nichols.

Best Homeschooling Book:
Didn’t read one this year. Odd.

Best Parenting Book:
Hmmm. Didn’t read one of these this year, either. Started Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Ted Tripp and Age of Opportunity by Paul David Tripp, but haven’t finished either yet.

Best Theology/Doctrine Book:
Justification and Regeneration by Charles Leiter. Gave it 4.5 in my original review. Excellent resource for understanding these two critical doctrines. Written in simple, compelling language.

Best Current Event Book:
I think I am going to take a “health” book for this topic: The No-Fad Diet by The American Heart Association. Very helpful, boils it down to the basics – you have to use more calories than you eat, otherwise you gain weight. No fads, no certain foods to avoid. Basic counting calories, exercise, making good food choices. I got it from the library, but I think this is going to be a Christmas present to myself to help me with my health goals for the year. A 5, in the original review. My runner-up would be My Life From Scratch: A Sweet Journey of Starting Over, One Cake at a Time by Gesine Bullock-Prado. Sandra Bullock’s sister, tells of leaving the world of Hollywood (working with her sister’s production company) and starting a bakery in a small town in Vermont.

Best Biography/Autobiography:
A Man Called Peter by Catherine Marshall. Biography of Peter Marshall, who was known as the most beloved pastor in America in the 1940s. Catherine Marshall, who wrote Christy and Julie was married to Peter. Originally received a 4.

Best Mystery:
A Trick of the Light: An Inspector Gamache Mystery by Louise Penny. This will probably show up again – worth waiting a year for. These are some of the best mysteries I’ve ever read. Detailed, not gross and gory, very real characters that you come to feel like you know. Original review was a 5.

Best New-To-You-Author:
This is difficult, as I have read a lot of series this year, with not many really new authors. I will say it is a toss-up between Jack McDevitt (Time Travelers Never Die, a 4.5) and Mignon F. Ballard (Miss Dimple Disappears, a 4)

Best New Book in a Series:
I will have to go with A Trick of the Light: An Inspector Gamache Mystery by Louise Penny again. There were several good ones, including A Red Herring Without Mustard (Flavia deLuce) by Alan Bradley, Who Is My Shelter? (House of Hope Novel) by Neta Jackson, A Heart For Home (Home To Blessing #4) by Lauraine Snelling, and Naughty In Nice (A Royal Spyness Mystery) by Rhys Bowen.

Most Disappointing New Book in a Series:
There were several bad ones, but overall, I was MOST disappointed in The Pirate King: A Mary Russell/Sherlock Holmes Mystery by Laurie R. King. I love these books, and after waiting a year for a new one, was sadly underwhelmed. A silly plot with no connection to the other books, Holmes missing for half the book, characters running amuck…..hopefully Ms. King will be back in form for next year. I think runner-up would be One of Our Thursdays is Missing by Jasper Fforde. Another hard-to-follow mess.

Biggest Let Down Outside of a Series:
Left Neglected, by Lisa Genova. Still Alice is one of my favorite books, and a hard act to follow, but this one just wasn’t that great.

Best New-To-You Series:
The Edwardian Murder Mystery series by Marion Chesney. Marion Chesney is M.C. Beaton, who writes the Hamish Macbeth and Agatha Raisin mysteries. I was sorry that this series only had four books. It was a nice little tide-me-over this fall while I was waiting for the next Agatha Raisin to arrive.

Book That Made You Laugh Out-Loud:
No big laughs this year. Maybe a few chuckles from Of Thee I Zing by Laura Ingaham (a December book, so the review for that has not yet been posted). The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson is always good for a few laughs. Those Herdman kids!

Book That Made You Cry:
The end of Bonhoeffer and Little Britches: Father and I Were Ranchers by Ralph Moody.

Best Series Overall:
This was my year of Hamish Macbeth. I read 16 of the books, up to the current one (which will appear in February of 2012).

Best Classic:
I am going to go with Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss. I read this aloud with my two older boys. Parts of it were quite….wordy. Overall, though, a great story of one families’ faith and survival.

Best Plot Twist (beware of spoilers!):
John Grisham, The Confession, which got a 5. Not a great book technically – heavy on melodrama, light on character development, but a page-turner that gave me food for thought and had several unexpected twists and turns. I have read many of Grisham’s books (A Time to Kill is still one of my all-time favorite thrillers). Many of them are okay, several I haven’t been able to finish (his newest, The Associate got added to that stack this year). But this, while not in the same category as A Time To Kill, stood up with say, The Pelican Brief.

Most Over-Hyped Book:
A toss-up between Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts and The Help. I had a hard time with Voskamp’s meandering (I guess she writes that way because she is a poet) but after reading articles and interviews in WORLD Magazine I was really expecting life-changing prose. I gave it a 2. The Help, by Kathryn Stockett was good, fast-paced, and interesting, in a voyeuristic sort of way. I had tried to read it when it first came out, and then put it down. After the movie came out I managed to read and finish it. I gave it 4.25 for being a page turner, but it still was just not my cup of tea.

Worst Book-To-Movie Transition:
I didn’t see any that would qualify.

BEST Book-To-Movie Transition:
Definitely True Grit by Charles Portiss. I had never seen the movie, and read the book first. The new version of the movie is very, very close to the book, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t enjoy many books-made-into-movies. I then watched the original movie with John Wayne. Still a good movie, but nothing on the book. Another good book-to-movie was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. I read that with the two older boys this year, and then watched the movie. Of course a lot had to be left out, but overall, still a good movie. I love Harry, Hermione and Ron.

Best Historical Fiction:
A Country of Strangers by Conrad Richter. This is a companion book to his more well-known book A Light in the Forest (which was turned into a Disney movie and did NOT end up like the book, go figure). The story of Stone Girl, a white woman who was captured by Indians in the late 1700s. She is now a grown woman with a husband and child, and as part of a negotiation is being returned to the white people. A heart-wrenching story, told from the viewpoint of the Indians. I highly recommend both of these books for high school students.

Best Contemporary Christian Fiction:
Bound By Guilt by C.J. Darlington. A stand-alone book, but it continues the storylines of some of her characters in Thicker Than Blood. 4.5 in the original review. C.J. has finished the third book in the trilogy, and I am anxiously awaiting its’ publication.

Best Childrens’ or YA Book:
We read a lot of good ones this year. I am going to go with Little Britches: Father and I Were Ranchers by Ralph Moody. Described as Little House on the Prairie for boys, but grittier. We gave this a 5.

Book You Hated So Much You Almost Couldn’t Finish It:
Lucifer’s Flood by Linda Blood Rios. Just plain stupid, bordering on heresy. I only finished it because it was a book club read.

Book You Hated So Much You Actually DIDN’T Finish It:
That is a really long list….the most recent was of all things, the latest Aunt Dimity mystery, Aunt Dimity and the Family Tree.. It was just borriiinnng. And it looked like it was going to be a madcap caper of mixed-identity. I hate that sort of thing. There were a LOT of books, though, that were just boring. I actually managed to finish a few that I hated, just because I wanted to find out how they ended.

Best Book-You’ve-Been-Meaning-To-Read-For-Years:
I am going to go with the 4th, 5th and 6th books in the Anne of Green Gables series. I read the first three, and then set them aside for a year or so. Everything else was fairly new.

Best Re-Read From Years Gone By:
A tie between Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone with the older boys and The Wizard of Oz and The Best Christmas Pageant Ever with the younger ones.

And, Last But Certainly Not Least……

Your Number One Favorite Book of the Year:
I am narrowing this down by books that received a 5 out of 5:

True Grit by Charles Portiss

A Trick of the Light by Louise Penny

The No-Fad Diet by The American Heart Association

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson

Lord, Is It Warfare? Teach Me To Stand by Kay Arthur (Bible study)

The Confession by John Grisham

The winner is:

TRUE GRIT by Charles Portiss

Note – I reserve the right to change any and all, since there is still a week left in the year and I plan to finish at least a couple books on Christmas break!

Have at it – comment away! I am also posting this at The Homeschool Library if you are a member there (and membership is FREE, btw, to the Best Homeschooling Forum On The Web!)

Christmas Plans, Christmas Plans!

2011-12-22T22:26:00.000-06:00

So far, this year has been an awfully easy Christmas season. If I were a superstitious person, I'd be expecting the other shoe to drop, but I am not, so I think I will just be happy!

I am very blessed to have a very flexible family. I know so many who have stress upon stress because Mom MUST have the dinner on Christmas Eve and mother-in-law MUST have everyone at her house to Christmas dinner, everyone MUST buy gifts for each other.

Blech.

My mother-in-law has three daughter-in-laws. I think being the mother of all boys makes you flexible (if not insane, but that is another post, based on my own experience with my four boys!). Anyway, she has us all over the weekend before Christmas, on whatever day works best for everyone. We do gifts for the kids, but the grownups just do small things - I bake breads and cookies, one always gives everyone coffee, the other does a craft and some little Italian cookies. My in-laws give us money. I like them a lot!

Christmas Eve we are going to church, then I am not sure what the night holds. There is talk of getting hot chocolate and fancy coffee or eggnog and driving around looking at lights. When we get home we will have appetizers instead of dinner (smoked sausage, cheese, crackers, shrimp cocktail, good stuff!). Last year we got on Gospel for Asia's site and bought gifts for missionaries. I think we will do something like that again this year.

We are also going to do something very different - we are going to open presents Christmas Eve. We have church on Sunday, but only the service, not Sunday School. So we will open gifts Saturday, then we can sleep in and have a big breakfast Sunday, and head up to worship. After church, home to fix dinner and my mom and stepfather come over and enjoy a meal with us, then open a few more gifts together.

My mother has also gotten very flexible, as we now do Christmas Day instead of Christmas Eve together, and it is at my house, not hers. My entire life, Christmas Eve was with Mom's family. Out with the old, in with the new!

So, we have attended some parties, the Christmas band concert is over, the big family gathering is just a memory, everything is bought and wrapped and I even have all the food in the house. All that is left is to enjoy - to take this time and relax. To be able to breathe, and to think of Christ, the blessing of our salvation, and this blessed Christmas time.

A Few Recipes to Tide You Over...

2011-12-18T22:35:00.000-06:00

I have lots to say, but not time to say it all. However, I have been told that in order to keep up traffic to the blog, there needs to be regular posts.

So........

I thought I'd post a few of my recipes. Just until I have time to post some thoughts. Though maybe you'll appreciate the recipes a lot more!

BUTTERNUT SQUASH CAKE
2 cup sugar
2 Tbsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
4 eggs
2 cup flour
tsp pumpkin pie spice
2 tsp baking soda
1 cup vegetable oil (I used ½ cup unsweetened applesauce and ½ cup oil to reduce fat)
2 cup cooked and mashed butternut squash
Cook and mash the butternut squash (you can also use frozen). Mix all ingredients in a bowl. Pour into greased and floured 9x13 pan. Bake 350 for 45-50 minutes. Allow to cool before frosting.

Icing
8 oz cream cheese (I used 1/3 reduced fat and it was fine), room temperature
1 stick butter, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla
1 lb (2 cups) powder sugar (I cut this to 1 cup powder sugar and it was fine)

Mix together cream cheese, butter and vanilla until creamy. Add the sugar ¼ cup at a time, until desired consistency is reached. Enough to frost top of cake generously.

BUTTERFINGER TRIFLE

This dessert is lower in fat than most, but is still very rich and creamy tasting. You can substitute full-fat/sugar ingredients if you prefer and get the same results – but just more fat! It is also attractive in the serving bowl, and very easy and quick to prepare.

1 ½ cold fat-free (skim) milk
1 package (1 oz.) sugar-free instant vanilla pudding
2 cartons (8 oz each) frozen fat-free whipped topping, thawed
1 prepared angel food cake (16 oz.), cut into cubes
4 Butterfinger bars (regular size 2.1 oz each), crushed

In a large bowl, whish milk and pudding mix for two minutes. Let stand for 2 minutes, or until soft-set. Stir in 2 cups of whipped topping. Then gently fold in the remaining whipped topping.

In a trifle bowl, layer 1/3 of the cake cubes, 1/3 of the pudding, 1/3 of the crushed candy bars, in that order. Repeat layers two more times, ending with the candy sprinkled on top. Refrigerate at least two hours before serving.

I have also substituted chocolate pudding and Heath toffee bits, but the vanilla and Butterfinger is best!

BLUEBERRY POUND CAKE

This is a very pretty, fine textured cake.

1 cup butter
2 cups sugar
3 eggs
3 cups flour
1 ½ tsp. baking powder
1/8 tsp. salt
2 tsp. Lemon juice (bottled is okay)
½ cup milk
2 cups fresh blueberries (frozen work too, but let them thaw out and drain them well)
2 tsp. Sugar
2 tsp. flour

Mix the berries with the small amount of sugar and flour, set aside. The sugar/flour keeps the berries suspended better in the batter. Cream butter and 2 cups sugar till light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each one is added. Combine the next 4 ingredients. Add to creamed mixture alternately with milk, beating well. Gently fold the coated berries into the batter. Pour into a greased/floured 10'' tube pan. Bake at 350° for 70 to 80 min.

Let cool in the pan 15 minutes, then run a knife around the edge to loosen. Gently lift the cake out and set on a platter. Cover with glaze while still warm.

No More Facebook

2011-12-17T21:08:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I did it. But I did. I deleted my Facebook account.

Not just deactivated, but deleted.

I could no longer handle the drama. I could no longer have such huge chunks of my time (in five minute increments, all day) being taken up. I could no longer have a whole day shot thinking about other peoples' issues. It felt like I had all these people with me, all the time.

And if I wanted that, I guess I could live in a commune.

There are things I will miss. I like seeing pictures, I like the ease of communicating with someone via chat or facebook message. But, I can text, or send an email.

Some of my closest friends, women that I admire greatly, are either not on facebook at all, or have accounts and just never use them. And yet, they manage to run their homes and have time to minister to others.

Here is when I knew it was a problem. When I would get up in the morning and get my cup of coffee and check facebook on my phone before getting into the Word. Instead of prayer, I would get on facebook.

I put it before God. That is an idol, folks.

I was then reading the Word, and posting verses from my ESV app onto Facebook. That counts, doesn't it?

I want to have time to read. To pray. I don't want to be so terribly concerned with what other people think. I don't need to tell everyone what I am fixing for dinner.

I don't need to know what you are fixing, either. Or what deodorant you just got a free sample of. Or what politician you "Like" (does anyone really like any of them, anyway????). None of that is offensive, it is just more than I need to know.

FB won't actually and completely delete my account for 14 days. If I go on and login and re-activate my account, it will all be back where I left it.

Right where I left off.

So now, like and addict, I must do it one day at a time. For today, I will stay off Facebook.

Okay, enough of this already! Deep thoughts are good, navel gazing, not good.

Reading Log, November 2011

2011-12-03T09:28:00.000-06:00

This was NOT a heavy reading month - life has been busy, and I have relaxed with some fun, light mysteries. Some months are like that. I think my resolution for 2012 will be to read at least one "deep thinking" book a month. But sometimes, I just need some brain candy. In any event, here is the list for November!

67. Naughty in Nice: A Royal Spyness Mystery – 4.5 – Rhys Bowen – oh, this was a fun one! This is a pretty basic “cozy” mystery series. Lady Georgianna is 34th in line to the throne of England in the early 1930s. She is impoverished, but still part of the royal family and expected to live as such. Fun series, no deep thought involved, but a nice little escape.

68. Snobbery With Violence: An Edwardian Murder Mystery – 4 – Marion Chesney. This is M.C. Beaton, who writes my favorite mysteries, Agatha Raisin and Hamish Macbeth. This series takes place in Edwardian England and focuses on Lady Rose Summer, a member of the aristocracy who has been disgraced by her support of the sufferagettes; Captain Harry Cathcart who takes care of private investigations (unpleasantness) for the aristocracy and their servants, Becket and Daisy. Again, no deep thought, but Chesney really makes her characters come to life. They are all so flawed, one minute you are rooting for them, one minute you want to smack them. Another cozy mystery.

69. The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party – 3.5- Alexander Smith McCall – next in the No. 1 Ladies Detective series. Not one of the better ones, but still a pleasant, easy read with characters you’ve become comfortable and familiar with.

70. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – 4 – JK Rowling – read this aloud to the older boys. I read this years ago, when it first came out. The guys loved it, and we are reading the rest of the series, and watching the movies AFTER we finish each book.

71. The Wizard of Oz – 4- Frank L. Blum – the classic, read this aloud to my younger boys. I read this many times as a child, and also read it to my older boys years ago. It was fun to read this, then watch the movie, and see how much was changed and left out! You know Dorothy’s slippers are really silver, don’t you??

72. One of Our Thursdays is Missing – 2.5 – Jasper Fforde – blech. I loved the first five books (some more than others) but this was a jumbled mess. It took me over a week to read – I kept going, thinking I would get to the good part. The last twenty pages or so, when it was all wrapped up were good. The rest of it…again, blech.

73. Hasty Death: An Edwardian Murder Mystery – 4 – Marion Chesney – 2nd book in the Lady Rose Summer/Captain Harry Cathcart series. Same as the first, though I enjoyed it more as the characters develop and become more familiar.

Why not on Thanksgiving?

2011-11-24T08:31:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving…….let the competition begin!

No, surely not – surely no one is competing over who has the most home-cooked food, the most guests, the cleanest house, the most elaborate napkin rings. Surely not.

Really? Oh, you know it happens. I know. Been there, done that. Pride, not pleasure, in providing the nice meal and hosting the family gathering. Not every year, but some years, that pride and one-upmanship has crept in. Why do women do that to each other? We will leave that topic for another day, for today, though – Thanksgiving.

For the last several years, I have hosted the family Thanksgiving, and I have enjoyed it. There are fifteen of us, everyone brings something, we do buffet-style with the casual plates – it is as simple and easy as you can get for fifteen people. It helps that we all live in the same area, so there is no pressure to make the most of the day, cram all the eating and fellowship into one day. It is still a lot of work, though, and as much as I looked forward to it, I was also glad when everyone left and I could finally rest.

This year, that was the plan again. But you know, as it got closer and closer…..I just didn’t feel like doing it. I have been busy this fall. Good busy, but still busy. I have chosen to host a LOT at my house. Science co-op every week, Labor Day party, Geography Club, Game Day, an air soft war, plus various “come on over for lunches”. We’ve also been running-running with fellowships, field trips, outings with friends, camping trips….and I am tired. It is a good tired, but still, I know when I am running out of juice. So, as Thanksgiving was coming up, I began to not look forward to it, but to look forward to it being over.

That usually doesn’t make for the best of parties, you know?

Last week, I talked to my sister-in-laws. Three of our family is going to be out of town over Thanksgiving, which brings us down to twelve. I had an idea..I asked the other sister-in-law, my mom, my mother-in-law, and they all agreed.

We are all going to Ryan’s for dinner for Thanksgiving. After dinner, we are going to my in-laws’ to hang out for a while. (They live closest, and her house is already clean, you know!).

I know this is not traditional – I promise, I am not boycotting Thanksgiving. We are also not becoming Communist, the other opinion that was (jokingly, I hope) expressed. I have noticed too, that the only people who have questioned this plan are MEN who are not doing the cleaning/shopping/planning/cooking for their families’ meal, but I digress. We will leave that for another day, as well. We are also not doing this because no one invited us over, I promise. We have CHOSEN this for today.

So really, what is wrong with going to Ryan’s? No one has to clean. The food is already there. No one has to do dishes. We get to eat together, enjoy each other’s company, and then relax together afterwards. I have no big expectations of Thanksgiving, no traditions that must.be.upheld.no.matter.what. I am not putting a lot of weight on making this “the best year ever” or anything. It is a day to relax, to think of God’s mercy and goodness to us, to praise Him. To enjoy being with family, wherever that may take place. I cannot reflect on the peace of the Lord when I am frantically cleaning my baseboards. Or yelling at the kids for not helping. Or hot-gluing my centerpiece together, one eye always on the clock because, “It is almost time for them to get here!” Right now I would already be off and running, if everyone was showing up here. I would be exhausted from yesterday as well.

But instead, I have a whole day off, and I had yesterday off, too. Actually, I have had the whole week off. Since I was not mentally overwhelmed with all the things I “needed to do” I had time to make and deliver dinner to a family with a new baby. I got to have breakfast with a group of ladies, and then do a little shopping with a friend, to get my hair done and hang out and chat at the beauty shop. I did not have to spend yesterday frantically cooking and cleaning. I puttered about, got caught up on laundry and some paperwork, and then cooked a little food and went to a church fellowship. Today I slept in a little. Later this morning Nevin and I will process the deer he got last weekend, and then we will head out to dinner. It is a treat, to get to go out, everyone always says so, so why not on Thanksgiving?

I said, “Why not on Thanksgiving?” Why not, indeed.

Reading Log for October, 2011

2011-11-05T18:14:00.000-05:00

Only three this month, and all fiction. What can I say, my brain was busy and reading was recreational this month!

64. The Pirate King: A Mary Russell and Sherlock Holmes Mystery – 2.5 – Laurie R. King. I can honestly say that I was soooo disappointed in this book. I have been waiting a YEAR for the next book, and then this nonsense. Besides being implausible (okay, they are all implausible, but this was silly, too) there were way too many characters to keep track of, and it was just plain dull. I usually read these books in less than 48 hours. This one took almost two weeks. I would literally fall asleep reading. Holmes doesn’t even show up until the middle of the book, and the best part of the books is the interaction between Russell and Holmes. Oh well, better luck next year.

65. The New Year – 4- Pearl S. Buck – an oft-told tale, but maybe Buck told it first – American soldier fathers child while serving in Korea and then returns to his life in the USA. All is peachy, until twelve years later, when he gets a letter from the child. I love Buck, anyway, but what I really liked was the twist in this – the story is not told from the father’s point of view – it is from his American wife’s. She is the one who goes to Korea for the boy. Opposite of Miss Saigon. Anyway, all wraps up a little too neatly in the end, but still a very good story about what it was like for these children in Korea after the war.

66. The Help – 4.25 – Kathryn Stockett – I tried to read this when it first came out, and only got about 50 pages into it. Since the movie, and since everyone else seems to love it, I decided to try again. It was very fast-paced and interesting, but the characters never really grabbed me. Still, it kept my attention.

I am still here...

2011-10-17T08:58:00.000-05:00

Just a post to keep my foot in the door, I guess! All sorts of activities have filled up the first two weeks of October, and now I am looking toward a much slower rest-of-the-month. I have so many things I want to share (I like to talk about myself, hence the blog), so hopefully I will have time to sit down, reflect and write soon.

Maybe even later today....

Wisdom from a text message

2011-10-05T22:27:00.000-05:00

This morning I got a text from my friend Liyah. She sends out texts based on something she is studying in scripture almost every day. She hits right on the mark frequently. Thsi one was too good to keep to myself.

“There is nothing more attractive than a woman who has this look of wisdom, and discretion, and nobility and simplicity.” Paul Washer
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

I then wrote her back,

“You are such a blessing. Last night Nevin and I had another talk about my vanity and insecurities, so this text was very applicable. There are some aspects of aging that really stink, and I am having a hard time moving gracefully into middle age (you know I am going to be 46 in two months, it seems so very old) especially since I think I am only 35 or so!”

Liyah responded,

“I don’t understand it all yet, but I know what God considers beauty. The flesh will die away, but godly character is priceless and that is what is valuable in His sight, and any truly godly man. We haven’t got long to go and we will be home. It seems to me, the inner condition will always accentuate and overshadow the outer. Don’t forget, ma’am, there was a day when it was considered an esteem and honor to be older. Our culture has stolen that joy from a lot of women. Their definition of beauty and womanhood has done women no favors. I’m glad today’s scripture was a blessing. Liyah xx”

I was taken aback at her point about our culture having “stolen that joy from a lot of women.” Isn’t that true? I know when I am fussing about my roots coming in, or my little meno-pot belly, or what is that under my chin that I sure don’t take joy in how God made me. And I have come to the realization of my sin of vanity, and how it pulls me away from God – how I spend more time worrying about my OUTSIDE than working on my INSIDE – my relationship with the Lord, my time in study and prayer.

Anyway, just some deep thoughts before bedtime. Or not deep. I seriously moisturize, I want to eat healthy and exercise, but I am trying to keep it in perspective. I just thought Liyah’s words were too good to not share.

What's In a Name?

2011-09-30T15:17:00.000-05:00

Like everything else with me, there is a story behind the name of my blog. You ready?

I had what I called "trust issues" with God. I know now a big part of that was that I thought I was saved for years, lived an unregenerate life, and wondered how come I had so many problems. Even after the Lord saved me in 1993, it took years for me to understand His grace, and what He had done. It took years for my pride to finally be demolished enough for me to understand that it was nothing I did - not that walk down the aisle, not the baptism, not even the re-dedications. None of that mattered, those were all my own work, trying by the force of my will to be good. And not good to be pleasing to God, but good so that my life would be easier, and maybe for the admiration of man as well. But, I could not live like a Christian because I was not one. I was not saved. A little aisle walking after an emotional experience does not equate salvation. Salvation is a work of the Lord, who brings a person dead in their sins to life. How can a dead man decide to come to life?

It actually wasn't until a little over a year ago (5/30/11, actually), sitting in the pew at Rockport Baptist Church (as a visitor, even), holding the cup during the Lord's Supper that it finally hit me, the things that had been starting to come together over the last few years, and had begun to explode in my mind and heart that spring. The Lord opened my eyes to the work He had done, and when he did it. And that all my years of trying to make myself good enough, and worthy enough, of praying during Lord's Supper and gripping that little cup so tightly, "getting right with God" was of no avail. I am not good enough on my own. My righteousness comes from Christ alone.

But I digress.

About 2005 or so I got involved in a homeschool forum, Sonlight. On that forum, you had to have a username, of course. People had very descriptive names, and I wanted one that described me and my walk. So, I became Learning To Trust. LTT, to my friends in Lifelong Learners and Bibliovores. That is where I was - I was learning to trust God. I was starting to explore WHY I believed what I believed, and study scripture to see what it actually said in context, and not what some cherry-picked verses in a Sunday School quarterly said. I learned from all kinds of apologists - Roman Catholic, especially. Can I say something here about those Roman Catholic women? I know that sometimes RCs get a bad rap about not knowing their Bibles, but I have to tell you, these ladies who had converted to RC as adults knew their Bibles and their church doctrine frontwards and backwards. I don't agree with them, but I would never disparage their scholarship, they are head and shoulders above me. But I am gaining...! Anyway, it was at this time that I was also introduced to the Doctrines of Grace, and begun studying as much as I could.

So, long story (I said it would be, didn't I?) that brings us to now, today. I am no longer Learning to Trust. I have learned to trust. I am learning more about God and His plans each day, about the incredible work He has done, and this amazing Bible He gave us. I see more and more each day His hand in my life, and the life of those around me. And I see so clearly what I was saved out of.

So, now I trust. Perhaps this should be called "Learning About God" or "Trying to Understand God" because my understanding falls so short. But right now, I am so filled with gratitude. I have a life that was redeemed by the sacrifice of Christ. He has saved me. He has forgiven me. Not of my own works, but through his kind mercy. And I want anything I do, even this little blog, to always reflect that gratitude.

Redeemed how I love to proclaim it, redeemed by the blood of the Lamb!

Reading Log for September, 2011

2011-09-30T09:26:00.000-05:00

Definitely not going to make 100 this year, but I think that is okay. Life has gotten very busy, and it is taking me longer to finish anything! Plus I am finding that I have started and not finished a lot of books this year. Life is too short to read bad books, I always say!

SEPTEMBER

56. Stronger Than Dirt – 4 – Kimberly Schyae and Christopher Losee – story of an urban couple who buys a piece of land in upstate New York in the 90s and starts a farm, selling veggies and mainly fresh cut flowers in the New York City farmers’ markets. Very enjoyable “fish-out-of-water” story.

57. Bunnicula – 3 – is the new pet bunny a vampire? The cat says yes, the dog says let’s see….cute, short chapter book, read aloud to my 7 and 8 year old boys.

58. One Thousand Gifts -2 - Ann Voskamp – I guess I just didn’t get it. I loved parts of it, but parts of it went on and on and on…..perhaps I don’t have a poets’ soul. I had a hard time following the circles that her mind went in. Everyone else I’ve talked to loved it, so I guess it is just me!

59. A Trick of the Light – 5 – Louise Penny – Inspector Gamache returns. I just love these people.

60. Little Britches: Father and I Were Ranchers – 5 – Ralph Moody – excellent coming of age story, set in Colorado in the early 1900s. Described as a “Little House on the Prairie for boys”. Grittier than LHOTP, though. Excellent boys’ book, read aloud to my 11 and 13 year old sons. We will probably read some of the other books that follow this one.

61. Devil’s Food Cake Murders: A Hannah Swensen Mystery With Recipes – 2.5 – Joanne Fluke – dumb. Figured this one out right away. The mysteries in these books are getting lamer (more lame?) with each book, but the characters keep me coming back. Hannah needs to ditch both these guys and move to Florida or something.

62. My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business: A Memoir – 4 – Dick Van Dyke – Good story, but disappointing. Yes, he wants to only do family-friendly projects and he succeeds in that, yes he is kind and generous and supports lots of community service and peace projects. But he is still lost – all paths lead to God, as long as we love. Manages to excuse his adultery, his children living with people, their divorces, etc. and puts a happy face on it. And he is a left-wing liberal. The sad part is, that he is lost. He thinks he is being a good person and earning his way to Heaven because God is all love. Entertaining story, but in the end – pretty meaningless.

63. The No-Fad Diet - 5 - The American Heart Association - extremely helpful book. Those who know me, know I've done Weight Watchers, tried Sparkpeople, etc., all with some degree of success. Especially WW, where I lost 25 pounds a few years ago. Then the menopause hit, and it all came back, with a vengeance. I love this book, though. It goes through what is healthy, normal eating and exercise and discusses calories. It all boils down to more energy being expended than calories coming in. No only eating certain foods, or any of those trends- just good, common sense for establishing good habits. It has you figure how many calories a day you need to eat to maintain your current weight at your age, weight and activity level, and then if you eat 500 calories a day less than that, you can lose 1/2-1 pound a week. Gradual, maintainable. I hope so, anyway! So far, so good. The week that I followed it I lost 1.6 lbs, the week that I didn't I gained a pound back. So, we will see how it goes. I am really tired of obsessing about my weight and trying to learn to accept "the new me" - but I need motivation to continue to eat well and get exercise.

And so...What did YOU read this month?

Reading Log for August, 2011

2011-09-01T09:53:00.000-05:00

A good reading month, overall. I have several books going right now - life is getting so busy, who knows what I'll manage to finish this month!

51. A Red Herring Without Mustard – 4.25 – Alan Bradley – another fun mystery/adventure with Flavia de Luce. I love this kid.

52. Justification and Regeneration – 4.5- Charles Leiter – excellent resource explaining these doctrines in words even the simple-minded can understand. A very clear, straightforward teaching.

53. You Know When the Men are Gone – 4.5 – Siobhan Fallon – I didn’t realize when I started this book that it was a collection of short stories, all tied together at Fort Hood, Texas. I guess it was well-written because most of the stories end with all the loose ends…still loose. I really wanted to know how they were resolved. That is why this book is not a “5” for me – no completion.

54. Unjobbing – the Adult Liberation Handbook – 4.5 – Michael Folger. Generally, I would not agree with him on most aspects of life – he is not a Christian, he is way liberal/ peacenik/environmentalist/earth-is-our-mother. I got a lot out of this short little book, though. The basic premise is that we prepare ourselves for “jobs” – for work that often we don’t like, isn’t fulfilling, and we spend a huge chunk of our lives at it in order to pay for all the stuff we need/want. His take on it is that we should find what we love and try to earn some living doing that (as a homebased business), meanwhile freeing up the rest of our time to devote to other things we love, and live as minimally as possible in order to survive on the amount of money that brings in. I will add the note that while he was formulating this plan (he achieved a degree in classical guitar, and had never worked full-time in this field or any other) he did have a WIFE with a job and benefits. She did end up leaving that position, though. To them, living minimally meant not eating meat or dairy, only buying used clothes, living in a small home and only having one child. Like I said, we have almost no points of agreement philosophically. However, while I would not be willing to take the un-jobbing approach to his extreme, I think it is something we have done in our own lives to the point that we are comfortable with. We have a home-based business, where my husband is free to set his own schedule (as much as a contractor can) and we homeschool, so the boys can be involved in his daily life – his work is not something he goes away from us to do. I am at home, so I can help with aspects of the business. Since we are all here together, we are able to have more time as a family, and more time to do the things we enjoy. So, in conclusion – I really liked this book, liked his overall philosophy of living a life you love, but wouldn’t take it to the point he does. I guess that is why he gets a book published and I don’t!

55. Love Finds You In: Lahaina, Hawaii – 2.5 – Bodie Thoene – Well, this was just plain dumb. I generally would not get a Christian historical romance, but since it was by Bodie Thoene I thought it would be good. Plus, it is about the end of the Hawaiian monarchy, and I know nothing about that and thought it would be interesting. The history part was sort of interesting – it made me want to go find a real book about it, anyway! The story of the Princess Kaiulani was lame-o. I only finished it because I wanted to find out how it ended – and that was fictionalize as well! There are 50 books in this series, by different authors, all taking place in a small town in the United States with some historically interesting aspect (I think Missouri’s is Branson). The book was so full of clichés…it reminded me more of a Lori Wick book than a Thoene one. I am most definitely skipping the other books in this series!

Reading Log, July 2011

2011-07-31T17:44:00.000-05:00

Short list - but Bonhoeffer was almost 600 pages, and you had to read it slowly!

47. The Cross-Centered Life – 4- C.J. Mahanney – very short book, sort of devotional – just about keeping the gospel, Christ, the cross central to our lives.

48. Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy – 4.5 – Eric Metaxes – long book, hard at times. I didn’t know much about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, beyond that he’d been martyred by the Nazis. Incredible theologian, incredible faith and courage.

49. A Heart for Home: Home to Blessing #4 – 4 – Lauraine Snelling – book 3 in this series, which is one of three spin-offs from The Red River series. I enjoyed it, it was a simple historical, very light romance. After Bonhoeffer and the horrors of the Nazis it was nice to go to Blessing, North Dakota and visit with Ingeborg, Astrid and the rest of the Bjorkland clan.

50. Jesus, Made in America: A Cultural History From the Puritans to The Passion of the Christ – 4 – Stephen J. Nichols – saw this in Tabletalk Magazine (RC Sproul). Excellent, a history of how American culture has shaped Christ – the Puritan views, the Founding Fathers, the frontier and Victorians, up to the Jesus People, CCM, The Passion of the Christ and the retailing of Jesus. Very interesting and convicting.

(note – I know I read something else between the CJ Mahanney book and Bonhoeffer, and cannot for the life of me remember what it was! It seemed like it was something light, that I enjoyed, though….)

Reading Log for June, 2011

2011-07-04T12:22:00.000-05:00

Pretty slow month, overall. I had a hard time getting into any of them, except True Grit. Seems like I watched a lot more tv than usual, too....but, here it is, what there is of it!

42. Clara and Mr. Tiffany – 3.5 – Susan Vreeland – It was okay – very interesting historical information about Tiffany Glass and that time period, I never really got into the character of Clara (who was a real person, btw) though. I would like to do more research on my own.

43. True Grit – 5 – Charles Portis – incredible book. I love her explanation of the doctrine of election. I did not expect this to be such a theologically rich book. I had never seen either of the movies before I read this. I have now seen the new movie, and it is pretty close to the book.

44. Don’t Call it a Comeback: The Old Faith for a New Day – 3.75 – edited by Kevin DeYoung – okay – collection of essays about various doctrines, written from a Reformed perspective, and then some about applications of those doctrines in Christian life. A good book for someone just starting out in their journey.

45. The Great Brain – 4.5 – John D. Fitzgerald - I remember reading this as a child. My older boys absolutely loved it. I like it with cautions – Tom and his great brain does the wrong things for the right reasons, and has an attitude of tricking people out of their money, though he does reform in the end.

46. Anne of Ingleside – 4 – L.M. Montgomery – book 6 in the Anne of Green Gables series. Anne is all grown up, and it is more about her young children than her. I think I liked it least of all the books, but it was still a pleasant read.

Reading Log for May, 2011

2011-06-06T08:01:00.000-05:00

35. A Boy No More – 3.5 – Harry Mazer – 2nd book in the series the boys and I started last month. After his father's death on the USS Arizona at Pearl Harbor, Adam, him mother and sister re-locate to Bakersfield, CA. While there, Adam discovers his friend Davi’s family has been sent from Hawaii to an internment camp in California.

36. A Man Called Peter – 4 – Catherine Marshall – bio of Peter Marshall, who immigrated from Scotland to the USA in the 1930s and went on to pastor New York Avenue Church in Washington DC and serve as the Senate Chaplain.

37. Who is My Shelter: A House of Hope Novel – 4.5 – Neta Jackson –

the further adventures of some of the Yada Yada sisters and the Manna House womens’ shelter and House of Hope. It doesn’t say if there is another book, but there were a few loose ends left with this one. Maybe……These are light reading, but they are uplifting and I enjoy them.

38. The Martyr of the Catacombs – 4 – author unknown - excellent book about life for the early Christians during a time of tribulation. Suitable for older children as well. I don't know if this is a Sonlight book, but that is what it made me think of.
39. Bound By Guilt – 4.5 – C.J. Darlington -

2nd book by a young author. Several of the characters in her first book, Thicker Than Blood return. Excellent story of guilt, grace and mercy. This is an author to watch!

40. Heroes Don’t Run – 3 – Harry Mazer – 3rd book in the Boy at War series. Adam goes to Marine boot camp and ships out to Okinawa.

41. Evan Can Wait – 2.75 – Rhys Bowen – 5th in the Constable Evans series. Perhaps I have been spoiled by Hamish Macbeth, but I just can't get into Constable Evans and his village. The plot seemed ot have a lot of holes in it that closed up too neatly at the end, too. May or may not go on with the series.

And that was it for the month of May!

What did I read in April, 2011?

2011-04-30T08:28:00.000-05:00

Finally, some variety to the list! Some very good books, and a real stinker. Enjoy, comment, share what you've been reading! Remember, the number at the front is how many books this year, the number after the title is rating, 1 being so bad you almost never see it (who could finish a book that bad) and 5 being so good, almost life-changing, or at least giving me something to really think about!
28. A Boy At War – 3.5 – first in a JA series about a young man, Adam Pelko, during WWII. Adam’s family is stationed at Pearl Harbor, and he is an up-close witness to the attack on 12/7/41. His father is a Naval officer on board the USS Arizona. It deals mainly with fear and predjudice towards the native Hawiian people (many of which are of Japanese descent), as well as the attack itself. There are two more books in the series. I like how it portrays the history of what happened, I don’t like that there is some minor cursing, smoking (I know more people smoked in the ‘40s, I still don’t like it, though!) and Adam’s disobedience to his parents. They are portrayed as being stiff and not understanding (Adam’s father forbids him to continue a friendship with a Japanese-American boy, because he anticipates they will be at war soon and he is a Naval officer) and Adam as being empathetic and wise. We are going to read the next two books in the series, though.

29. Lucifer’s Flood – 2 -Linda Brook Rios – read for book discussion. So much bad theology and “re-writing” of the Bible that I could scream. I don’t mind some historical fiction, based on Biblical people (fine example is Francine Rivers’ Lineage of Grace series) but this book is Creation through the Tower of Babel, told through the eyes of a fallen angel/demon. Pretty common setup – ancient texts delivered to scholar by strange man with unusual name, story unfolds, bad guy in present time is coming looking for it – there are four books in the series, and I will not be picking them up.

30. A Country of Strangers – 4.75 -Conrad Richter – excellent. A companion book to his more famous “The Light in the Forest”. Stone Girl was captured by Indians as a small child. Now she is a grown woman, married to an Indian and has a small son. And she is part of a negotiation to be returned to the white people. Heart-wrenching story. Like his other book, told from the point of view of the Indians, not settlers. This is one that will stay on my shelf forever, right new to The Light in the Forest.

31. Miss Dimple Disapears – 4 -Mignon F. Ballard – fun murder mystery, set in a small town in Georgia during WWII. I have the feeling it is the beginning of a series, since there were (of course!) romantic involvements left unresolved.

32. The Confession – 5 -John Grisham – generally I would not give Grisham a 5, and his writing in this one is no better than any of his others. It is a fast-paced page turner, heavy on melodrama, light on character depth, where the bad guys are stereotype bad and the good guys are somewhat conflicted. However, it was good, I couldn’t put it down. And, it did change my views on how the death penalty is carried out in our country.

33. Crazy Love – 3.5 -Francis Chan – didn’t like it anywhere near as much as I expected too. I like to watch his sermons on youtube, though.

34. Left Neglected – 3.5 Lisa Genova – no where near as good as “Still Alice” – one of my all-time favorite books. The protagonist (can’t even remember her name) is a corporate mom-on-the-go. It is so easy to see where this is going. She and her husband have incredibly stressful jobs (they went to Harvard, can’t waste that diploma) and three kids, fancy house, house in Vermont, fancy clothes, work 70-80 hours a week. Her kids are the ones who get dropped off for before school and after school care, plus they have a full-time nanny. No one cooks, no time to go to the kids’ soccer games, and their son is having trouble in school (duh). She is in a car accident (cell phone while driving) and has a head injury resulting in “left neglect” – her brain does not recognize anything on the left, including her own body. Her estranged mom comes to help them, imagine how that turns out. Anyway, it was an okay book, and the left neglect was interesting, but she and her husband were so over-the-top that you knew what was going to happen. Pretty cliché.

Barely able to think, let alone blog

2011-04-28T08:59:00.000-05:00

Yep, that is me right now! It has been a crazy-wonderful month. As we are moving on the next stage of the adventure in our family, I am excited, scared, tired.....! All of the above!

I would say my husband has been working like a mad man to finish his new building and clean out the building we've owned for fifteen years - BUT - he does not work as one who is mad. He is deliberate in what he is doing, and he has a plan, and he executes it. In the midst of his exhaustion he is not yelling or frantic.

Me, on the other hand.....

My mind is going 14 different directions. Needless to say, we are on Spring Break from school this week. Boy, am I glad I saved that break! Sorting, hauling, organizing, making phone calls, plus the regular things of life (many of which are on hold right now!)......life is exciting - life is somewhat crazy - life is what it is, it is what God gives us, we do with it what we can, through His providence.

I keep telling myself that.

On one hand, I see God's work, so many pieces coming together. On the other, I try to control and begin to panic about the things that are outside of my control.

Yesterday I was cleaning out a cabinet at the shop and found some old coffee cups. One of them showed a picture very similar to this, same caption, different cat.

Yep, yep, yep.

I may make the effort to post my book reviews and reading log for April today, but don't count on it. That is sounding like a Saturday project here!

By this shall all men know

2011-04-10T09:51:00.000-05:00

Continue on with the Heart Preparation questions for the Rockport Baptist Church Grace Camp Meeting:

"By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love to one another. John 13:35"

Are you secretly pleased over the misfortunes of others?

That sounds so horrible - but yes, I have been happy to see someone "get what they deserve". Sometimes this is righteous, I guess - glad to see a murderer get his due punishment, for example. I don't think that is what this means, though.

What about less "extenuating" circumstances - like, being happy to see someone get their comeuppance? I know I have been guilty of this. Don't we love to see a braggart fall flat on their face, the person who acts superior make a fool of themselves? How the demons laugh in delight when we take such an attitude!

Are you secretly annoyed over the accomplishments or advancements of another?

No, not really. I may be a little envious at times, but I am usually pretty honest with myself. I can recognize their hard work over my lack of it.

I may get annoyed if they harp on it, but that goes back to the first question!
Are you guilty of any contention or strife?

We discussed this last summer in the family Bible study we attend on Wednesday nights.

"There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among the brothers." Proverbs 6:16-19 (Emphasis added).

The Lord equates those who sow discord among the brothers with those who shed innocent blood. Fighting in the church, gossip campaigns, deliberate snubs - oh how we must grieve our God. There is no wiggle room in here. These are the things God hates - an abomination. Not things that annoy him, or may make you lose a little luster on your crown. An abomination. Look up "abomination" in your concordance and do a word study, and cross-reference some verses. See how the Holy God looks upon our after-church conversations.

I try not to be guilty of this - I know I have a tendency to grouse and criticize, but not as much as I used to. The Holy Spirit has given me a few (okay, several) slaps upside the head and laid my sin out before me to where I cannot deny or excuse it. I try to stay out of other peoples' arguments, too. How many times can we get sucked into sin by someone else? We need to be aware of that , and also be aware of how our own sin can suck someone else in.

Do you quarrel, argue, or engage in heated discussions?

Boy, there is one. I have been known to get in some very heated discussions. I love to talk about history, politics, doctrine and theology. That is like the classic brew for heated discussions. And let's be honest, we can couch that sort of thing in "discussion" all day long, but it is arguing. Like telling our kids that Mom and Dad are having a very loud discussion. Yeah, right - and whose kids fall for that?

I have had to really back down and think about what things are worth fighting over - and really, there are very few. And so often, I can say that I am just trying to teach someone, or help them out of error, but really? I like to win. I hate to leave a fight (and that is what it is) without getting in the last word because then it may appear that I have conceded. Oh Lord, to get back the hours I have spent online arguing, with my Bible in my lap, while my sons have been plunked down in front the the tv or wii. What screwed up priorities.

Are you a partaker in any division or party spirit?

I am going to go with "no" on this one. Having been a member of a church that went through a split a few years ago, I got to witness first-hand what went on - all in God's name, of course. I felt like one day I was pulled into this group, the next siding with the other - it seemed to consume every conversation I had with friends and with my husband. I have learned my lesson.

Are there people whom you deliberately slight?

A couple names popped into my head immediately, so I guess it must be true. Let's be honest - there are some people who can suck the life out of you, can drain you emotionally. I have found myself trying to be kind, but also trying to keep some distance. I don't know how I can frame that as "compassion" so let's not even try. I don't think this is talking about people that really aggravate you (sandpaper people) and avoiding them - I think this is really about looking at others and thinking you are somehow superior to them. Maybe you've made better choices in life, you hang with a cooler clique, they don't get your jokes - whatever. I think to define "slight" we could say....if they call, do you try to get off the phone really quickly? If the only open seat at the fellowship is next to her, will you sit in it? Do you deliberately not include them? Do you dismiss them when they speak to you? Have you judged them and found them unworthy?

"Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written,
As I live, says the Lord, every knee
shall bow to me,
and every tongue shall confess
to God.
So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God."
Romans 14: 10-12

There are times to make a righteous judgment on sin - we are called to observe the fruit in our brothers' lives, and to encourage and rebuke. But we are not to judge them simply on whether or not they meet up to OUR own (sinful, personal, worldly) standards.

A lot to think about on this Sabbath day. I am home with a sick son, missing the last gathering of our Grace Camp Meeting. I miss this gathering of the saints, it has been an incredible time of worship. But maybe it is good, too, to have this time alone, to pull back a bit and examine my own heart. We all need that.

Go ye into all the world

2011-04-06T09:49:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't kept up with this like I planned to - I should never say I am going to do something "every day" - it should be more like "every day that I have time to focus on it"!

Anyway, enough with the excuses, on to the questions for Section #3
And He said unto them, Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. Mark 16:15

Have you failed to seek the lost for Christ; have you failed to witness consistently with your mouth for the Lord Jesus Christ?

I am not much of a witness. I post things on facebook, but that is pretty easy. Granted, occasionally I post in areas where the "general train of thought" is not Christian and I get some passive-aggressive, critical posts under mine, but that is no big deal. Just address it if it will help (it usually doesn't) or just go on.

I tell others about Christ, but it is generally in response to them asking first. My husband and I support ministries and missionaries financially. But I, myself, am not much of an evangelist.

On one hand, I do certainly believe that we are witnesses with our lives - on the other hand, I do not believe that "lifestyle evangelism" (ie, I will just be really nice and someone will say Gee! She is really nice! and ask why and then I will tell them about Jesus who makes me really nice) is an effective means of spreading the gospel. There are lots of lost people, dead in their trespasses, who still manage to fit nicely into society's standards, and even smile and act friendly (and don't get me started on the people who try to wave you out into traffic and think they are being nice - argh). I think it is a cop-out. On the other hand, I think you can certainly be a witness AGAINST Christ with your lifestyle. Please don't tell anyone you are a follower of Christ and then flip people off in traffic, speak rudely to waitresses and cashiers, engage in fornication/adultery/pornography, gossip against your brothers, chitchat about the ungodly programming you watch, and refuse to repent....all the good you do will probably not be attributed to Christ, but the evil you do will bring cries of, "Hypocrite" quickly.

And rightly so.

Has my life shown Jesus to the lost?

I don't really know many lost people - or at least, many unchurched people. I think there are a lot of people out there that are as "lost as lost can be", to quote one of my favorite preachers. And they are sitting in pews, and they think that because someone explained a few verses to them and led them in a prayer they are now saved. I heard a new expression this week "Once Prayed, Always Saved" (a play on "once saved, always saved") from another of my favorite preachers. Yep, you got it - say this prayer, tell the congregation on Sunday morning, get dunked on Sunday evening, and you are SAVED, Brother. The fact that millions pray and get dunked, and then continue in their ungodly lifestyles, excusing adultery and fornication, gossip and hatred, sowing dissension among the brethren, and are without repentence, should be proof that this really isn't working. But hey, get them to pray, report it back to your evangelism team at church, mark up another number on your board for the quarter, perhaps do a little high-fiving and you are doing God's work, Baby!

Okay, I digressed there. This isn't about what others do wrong, it is supposed to be about what am I doing, or the lack in what I am doing.

I do try to witness with my life (see "Lifestyle Evangelism" above) - but I think that is just something I fall back into. It is so easy, you know, and once that mindset is in place.....but I so easily fall into sinful attitudes. And I also think that I am more caught up in doctrinal issues than true issues of salvation.

But going out into the world and truly telling people about Christ? I fall so short. Fear, pride, a need to present a "perfect" witness, all these play into this. I admire a local pastor who says that Walmart is his church. He goes to Walmart, because that is where you find a lot of lost people who need to h ear the gospel. I go to Walmart because I really like their store brand of laundry detergent. There seems to be a disconnect there. Oh Lord, forgive me. Touch my heart, cause me to grieve for the lost like you do.

Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.

It is His grace that saves, not your works, not how hard you try, or how often you repeat the prayer, or read it off a card.

And if you truly are saved, then your life will begin to show it. You will repent of your sins, not because they cause you pain or grief, but because in your love for Christ you see how they cause him grief. You cannot bear to sin against a Holy God. Turn away from the lies and promises of sin - put your faith in the promises of God. Call upon Christ to save you from the guilt and punishment of bondage. Put all your hope on all that God is for you in Jesus. Begin to read the Bible to find his precious and great promises for you, and find a Bible-believing church and worship and grow with other believers who treasure Christ above all. You will desire baptism, so that you can be obedient to the Lord that you love. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. Follow him. He has redeemed you. I know, for He has redeemed me.

Reading Log for March, 2011

2011-04-01T08:08:00.000-05:00

I am going to digress from my personal examination for a morning, and list my reading log for this month - remember, 1-5 on the ratings, with 1s almost never showing up (I can't bring myself to waste the time finishing anything that bad) and 5 being life-changing (or really close to it!).

And here it is - March, 2011!

18. Death of a Witch – 4.25 – M.C. Beaton - more Hamish Macbeth

19. Death of a Valentine – 4.25 – M.C. Beaton – and a little more Hamish

20. Anne’s House of Dreams – 4 – LC Montgomery – Anne is married and in her first home. It picked up the last 1/3 of the book, but was pretty slow until then.

21. No Distance Too Far: Home To Blessing 2 – 3 – Lauraine Snelling – this is the third spinoff of the Red River series, not counting the Dakota Treasure series, which had a lot of similarities. Let’s put it this way – I knew how this was going to end. I even know how the next book, which has not yet been published, is going to end. After this many books there are so many characters that it is hard to keep track of. Anyway, it wasn’t great.

22. The Swiss Family Robinson – 4 – Johann David Wyss – a classic, but my gosh this was a lonnnngggg read aloud. The boys and I really didn’t get into it for about 150 pages. Some love it, some don’t. We ended up “liking it a lot”. As a side note, we also watched the Disney movie. I would say, definitely read the book BEFORE the movie - they are very, very different! The movie was still fun, but it would have been more fun without three people saying, "That's not how it happened in the book!" through the whole thing.

23. Death of a Chimney Sweep: A Hamish Macbeth Mystery – 4.5- M.C. Beaton – definitely one of the best – and it is the last, for now! Off to find a new obsession.

24. My Life From Scratch: A Sweet Journey of Starting Over, One Cake at a Time – 4.75 – Gesine Bullock-Prado – very good – story of Gesine Bullock (Sandra’s sister). Gesine had gone to work for Sandra’s production company in Hollywood, and eventually couldn’t take it or LA anymore. She and her husband bought a storefront in a small town in Vermont and opened a pastry shop. Very entertaining read.

25. Plain Girl – 4.5 – Virginia Sorensen – a Sonlight read aloud, that I read to myself! Very moving story about a young Amish girl in the 1950s who is forced to go to public school by the authorities. It is a childrens’ chapter book, so there is a happy ending.

26. French Women Don’t Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure – 4 – Mireille Guiliano – this is a re-read from a few years ago. I don’t like most of her recipes, and many of her tips are not going to fit into my life – I cannot go to a local market every day to squeeze the fruit – but it is an encouraging little book about taking all things in moderation and being realistic.

27. A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from My Kitchen Table – 3 – Molly Wizenberg – hmmmm. I liked the first half of the book, but the 2nd half was after she met her future husband. Maybe I am getting to be a prude – no, maybe the Holy Spirit is convicting me – that I do not care to read accounts of people who are fornicating and talking about it like it is no big deal, or even appropriate. It wasn’t graphic or anything, not at all. But them living together was just presented as being so wonderful, to be in love, and living together, and it just bothered me. Up to the first half, when she was talking about her family and growing up, I’d give it 4.5 – after the future husband showed up it dropped to a 3.

I would love it if you posted some of your reads for this month in the comments!

But seek ye first the kingdom of God

2011-03-31T08:50:00.001-05:00

Continuing on the Heart-Searching series:

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

Is there anything in which you have failed to put God first?

Well, probably most things. I am not even sure what this means. I try to keep God in the forefront of all that I do, I feel like I am in His presence all the time. I try to go about my day in a manner that I think would be pleasing to Him. But - I know that I don't take the time to pray like I ought. I pray all day, in my head (a favorite quote "Thinking and praying are not the same thing" Andree Seu, World Magazine). I pray with the boys before school, before meals, when we get in the car, at bedtime; I lay in bed at night and pray for my husband, and it is usually my first waking thought, to pray for him.

But to sit alone, in my closet, and really pour my heart out to God.....doesn't happen much. I guess I do other things instead. Like blog. I do take the time each day to be in the Word, though.

Have your decisions been made after your own wisdom and desires, rather than by seeking and following God's will?

I am learning to be more patient and seek God's will. It is hard. I try to act as I think He would have me. When I compare my thought and decision-making process now to when I was unsaved, I can certainly see the difference. Following God's will is now an underlying foundation. But in everything? Does God care if I buy clothes on line just because they were on sale - even if I don't "need" them? I can convince myself that wants are needs pretty quickly. I think alot of this goes back to the previous question, and how much time I spend in prayer, seeking after God's will. Amazing how this stuff all ties together.

Do any of the following in any way interfere with your surrender and service to God: ambition, pleasures, loved ones, friendships, desires for recognition, money, your own plans?

I guess it depends on what you mean by "service". Is service just face time at church and activities? I know I have often thought that. In years past, when I was busy-busy (and therefore, "holy") at church, I would be torn because on one hand, I did not like the self-imposed pressure to always have my kids in some program or have to find something to do with them so we could be at something - be it a potluck, a banquet, VBS, a womens group, whatever. But on the other - since I WAS doing so much (VBS, Art Camp, teaching Sunday School, womens' book club, whatever else sounded like fun) I could feel like I was really out there and really serving God and part of the club. No one ever told me this, I somehow came up with this brilliance on my own.

I don't think that is the appropriate attitude to take towards service.

And I don't do all that stuff anymore. One obvious reason is that we don't attend a church with lots of activities. But I don't make it to all of that even. Sometimes other ministries we are involved in, or the kids' activities, are already on the schedule. While I would not deliberately choose an activity for the boys that would keep us from church (example, would not be on a team that had practices or games that would cause us to miss church), sometimes the occasional mid-week or weekend activities overlap. Each individual commitment has to be weighed on a case by case basis.

But is that really all there is to surrender and service? I don't think so. I think that we are called to serve our families. Not to elevate our spouse and children to be idols - but my role at this time is to serve them. God has called me to homeschool my children, to maintain a home for them, to raise them, to be a helpmeet to my husband in his business as well as the home - I feel God has CALLED me to this, as surely as he calls some to serve even unto the ends of the earth. Some days my kitchen table FEELS like the ends of the earth, but that is another post!

God also calls me (us, you, we) to serve in various capacities through the church, other ministries, and our community. That list is as individual as each one of us.

So, what gets in the way of my serving, as I am called to serve? I guess the two killers are "my own plans" and "pleasures".

I usually have a list and I usually have plans for my day/week/month/year. I have, over the last few years, learned to loosen my grip on my planner, one finger at a time. I am getting more flexible, more able to roll with the punches. I want to be more available to jump and serve as a need arises. I want to serve my friends with hospitality. I want to serve our homeschool group by doing the newsletter and planning activities. I want to serve our local pregnancy care center by helping to raise awareness and necessary funds. I want to have the time to serve my family in all the ways they need me. So I need to be flexible, as most of life does not happen between 6:00 - 8:30 a.m. (my peak hours of operation).

And what about pleasures? Would I prefer to curl up in my chair and read a book, or play on Facebook and homeschool forums than make phone calls to organize a Lifewalk? Or log homeschool hours in the computer? Or clean a bathroom? Well, yes! But not all the time. This is not to say that we are not to have pleasure in our lives, as long as our pleasure is not the FIRST thing we think of. As long as I am not so busy reading my book that I miss the opportunity God has for me.

And that is what they are, you know - opportunities. Opportunities to serve, opportunities to pray, opportunities to study His word, to learn of His great love and mercy for His children. Let's not let our great opportunities be replaced by ordinary time-fillers.

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors

2011-03-29T18:18:00.000-05:00

In preparation for our upcoming Camp Meeting at church, we were given a bulletin insert of "Heart-Searching for Prayer Preparation and Personal Revival", with questions to review, pray over, and answer.

Yesterday I did the first section. Using Matthew 6:12-14 "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptaion, but deliver us from evil; for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

And now, for the questions:
Is there anyone against whom you hold a grudge?
Anyone you have not forgiven?
Anyone you hate?
Anyone you do not love?
Are there any misunderstandings that you are unwilling to forget?
Is there any person against whom you are harboring bitterness, resentment, or jealousy?
Anyone you dislike to hear praised or well spoken of?
Do you allow anything to justify a wrong attitude toward another?

Yowsa. Steppin' on some toes there. But hey, this is scripture - not some life coaching, how to live your best life now nonsense. Scripture tells us that if we say we love God and hate our brother, we are liars. We cannot love God and hate our brothers. Cannot. If we do so, God is not in us. That is some paraphrasing on my part, here is the actual scripture, "Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes." 1 John 2:9-11. The light here, is Christ - salvation. So, if you say you are saved, but yet hate your brother - consider whether or not you are truly saved. That is not me judging, by the way - that is me admonishing you to consider what scripture has to say.

So, as I look through these, most of it is pretty easy-peasy. I have done much prayer and soul-searching over the years, and really, I do not think there is anyone that I have not forgiven. There is no one I hate. Is there anyone I don't love?

Oooops.

Had to think about this. There are definitely some people (not many, and they fall in the category of "I have forgiven") that if I saw them in Walmart, I might scootch my cart the other way. Not many. Only two I can think of, actually. But do I hate them? No. Do I love them?

Umm.....

I have some acquaintances that get on my nerves some. We all have those people who are sort of sandpaper to us. Usually the things that annoy us about them are the things we don't like in ourselves, if we really take the time to examine it. If they get on my nerves, does that mean I don't love them?

I posed this question to my husband yesterday. Ladies, take scriptural questions to your husband first, if you can. He listened to me, and then he asked me, "The people who aggravate you, or who you don't want to see in Walmart - if they needed you - would you help them?"

Yes, I would, if I could.

He says that the willingness to give of myself is loving them. I am paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it (when we have deep spiritual talks at 7 a.m., they end up paraphrased.).

Is there anyone I am jealous of?

Hmmm....envious might be a better word. I am envious of my dear friend Angel. She is so disciplined - I feel like a schlump next to her at times. But maybe that isn't jealousy - let's say I appreciate those qualities in her that I don't have. We make a good team.

Do I allow anything to justify a wrong attitude toward another?

Yes. Sometimes. Back to the sandpaper people. The ones who unknowingly irritate me. But I do recognize that in myself now. When I am being critical of someone, I feel badly about it. I repent. I have been known to go to the hearer of my complaining and apologize to them for making them a party to my critical spirit. I guess I could say then that I briefly justify a wrong attitude. But the Holy Spirit doesn't let that last long. When we are saved, we have that conscience, the Holy Spirit, working in us. We can no longer enjoy sin. Sin has to become distasteful to us.

Some sins take longer than others. There are 23 sections of questions. I think if I make it through all of the questions, I may manage to hit most of my sin. On one hand, I kind of don't want to do this. Facing sin is painful sometimes. On the other hand, though, facing the sin and repenting brings us closer to God. Is there anything too hard for that?

We shall find out.

It is all in the details

2011-03-22T11:30:00.000-05:00

Like my friend Sara over at Knittingprose (check out this blog) I have had good intentions, but been too busy lately to blog. So, also like Sara, I think I will just do a bit of catch-up today!

Earlier this month my friend Angel and I went to the Great Homeschool Convention in Memphis, Tennessee. Had a wonderful time - ate peanut butter and banana pancakes at The Blue Plate Cafe, rode a trolley, heard some incredible speakers, got to meet one of my best friends in-real-life for the first time, and oh yes, I bought some books! Made it home with some chess workbooks and dvds, Elections by Notgrass Company, Apologia General Science, stocked up on my Rod and Staff spelling, BJU grammar and Singapore math workbooks, and picked up a few books just for fun.

Since then, we have been busy building a new building/garage on our property. Okay, Nevin has been busy. I don't do any of the actual work, but I think about it a lot, if that counts for anything. And I do try to be encouraging! Been to a few fellowships and prayer meetings, a few homeschool group gatherings and field trips, run the normal errands. My red hens have finally started laying, and are popping out brown eggs with a vengance. Our next door neighbors have moved, but the new neighbors have not moved in yet. I am nearly breathless with anticipation - our old neighbors were good neighbors - quiet, took good care of the yard, we worked together to maintain our common road. We were never what you'd call "friends", though. So now, new people - will they be nice? Will they have kids our kids' age? Will there be blessings or problems? Is it okay to pray for a homeschooling family of well-behaved boys? Anyway, the Lord will put next to us who is supposed to be next to us, and it is probably to my benefit that I DON'T have any input in that!

Today I slept in a bit, and the kids are up, dressed and fed. They are taking their schoolwork to Grandma's this afternoon, and I am going to the shop and to run a few errands. Nothing earth-shattering. The weather is nice, and I am praying that the rain will hold off for.....a month or so! I have the last birthday for a while this week - my Joe turns 8 on Friday. He has requested a cake from Walmart. What is with these kids, anyway????

All is right with the world.

Well, Ah've bin bizzy

2011-03-08T17:39:00.000-06:00

I truly will write again someday. Someday soon, even. Maybe tomorrow? I have so many exciting things (okay, exciting to me, anyway) that I want to talk about. But I have not had time to formulate a thought.

So, while you are waiting (!) here are some things I am thinking of...

First and foremost, my trip to Memphis last weekend to THE BEST homeschool conference I've ever attended;

Having my oldest son about to become a TEENAGER this week;

The flock of red hens started laying this week;

Cleaning off my bookshelves and cleaning out my closet;

which leads to
The experiment I started January 1, where as I wore things I hung them on one side of the divider, so I could see what items really get worn and which ones....don't. Guess what items are the ones getting "cleaned out".

And that is it - many thoughts, not enough time to put them all together, but I will really, really soon!

Easy Cinnamon Rolls

2011-02-21T17:04:00.000-06:00

I don't have anything earth-shattering to share today, but I did make some really good cinnamon rolls yesterday!

I got the recipe from this book, which I received as a gift at the homeschool mom Christmas party (thanks Shelley!).

Easy Cinnamon Rolls
2 cups biscuit baking mix
2/3 cup of milk
1/8 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup sugar
1 t. cinnamon

Mix biscuit baking mix and milk in a small bowl with a fork. Knead dough gently 8 to 10 times on lightly floured surface. Roll into a 12"x7" rectangle; spread thinly with butter. In a separate small bowl, mix sugar and cinnamon. Sprinkle dough with sugar mixture. Roll up tightly, starting with long end; pinch edges to seal. Cut into 1" slices and put one slice in each cup of a lightly oiled muffin tin. Bake at 425 for 15 minutes, or until rolls are lightly golden. Makes approximately 1 dozen.

These were very quick and easy, and went over well. I checked mine at 10 minutes and they were bordering on "too done", so I'd start checking around 7 minutes next time. I also made a powder sugar glaze for them. I have ideas for making orange rolls with this recipe, too.

Bon apetit! Maybe tomorrow I will have something deeper than, "Mmmmm, cinnamon rolls," to share!

Or maybe not, who knows!

It's the most wonderful time of the year.......

2011-02-19T08:32:00.000-06:00

Hahaha, and you thought it was Christmas! NO - it is NOT Christmas!

It is homeschool convention season, and it is gearing up!

It seems odd, to have them this early in the "school year" - I am going to one in Memphis, TN the first week of March,

local ones are end of March and middle of June (which seems more reasonable). But, all over the country, March and April are big homeschool convention/conference/expo months.

I know you are wondering (if you don't homeschool), "Why on earth do you need to think about next year, when you are only in the middle of this year?"

Good question. The best answer I can give it - because hope springs eternal!

Halfway through a school year a homeschool mom knows A)what is working and B)what is not working. At this point in the year, though, you really don't want to ditch the science program you are halfway through and start something new. You feel like you should give it your all and finish it. But....as you are proceeding along, you can start to dream of how it will be different next year. Of the things that you like and don't like about what you are using, and start refining in your mind what you want to use next year.

Personally, I also think the convention planners schedule the conventions for when most of us are getting our income tax refunds, too, since a HUGE portion of the conventions is the vendor hall/sales.

Anyway, even though I am only a little over halfway through my year (we run our year July 1 - June 30, with breaks as needed) I too, am already dreaming of what I would like to buy. Fortunately, I don't need much. And, I am NOT (do you hear me, NOT) buying a bunch of stuff at the conference in March. I am not buying anything until this summer, closer to when I really need it. But I do plan to spend a whole lot of time in the vendor hall, looking at all the goodies.

There is an axiom about if you sit in a barber chair long enough you are going to end up getting a haircut, but I am sure that won't happen to me (again) this year.

I mainly need stuff for my oldest, Tony, the middle-schooler, who will be in 8th grade next year. He has now reached the point in math where I cannot teach all of it to him without having to learn it myself. Can I help it if I didn't need to take geometry to graduate in 1984? Why did he end up with it in 5th grade? We are learning it together, but I think he could use further assistance (ie, someone who doesn't have to do all the assignments herself before teaching it). So, we are going to move into either Saxon DIVE or Teaching Textbooks, both or which are video-driven. He needs a new science as well. I think Apologia General Science would be a good fit for he and Ben (who will be in 6th grade) next year. And for social studies, I am leaning towards a semester of Notgrass's "Elections" curriculum, followed by economics with "Whatever Happened to Penny Candy", all interspersed with US Geography. We still have plenty of language arts stuff here. We go back and forth - we will use Daily Grams for a little bit, then back to BJU for a while. I tend to jump around with what topics I want to teach, and mix that in with creative writing and journalling. What that means in English - it takes forever to finish a textbook, so a purchase is good for 2-3 years. For the younger boys I don't need anything except BJU for Joe (3rd grade). At their age (1st and 3rd next year) we do reading, handwriting, math and they "tag along" with the older boys for history, Bible and science, and they read their own level books - junior bios and science books, that sort of thing. Everyone needs the next level math workbook, and that is about it. This year we are doing a structured Bible curriculum, but I don't think we will next year. Between daily Bible reading, Bible discussion and videos, AWANA, Sunday School, church, weekly Bible studies and whatever else I toss into the mix, anything else might be an overload. I don't want it to become burdensome to them, I want it to be their joy.

As I add in more kids - and look at all the stuff I "over-bought" in years past - I have gotten more relaxed in our schooling structure. We've never been ones to do pages of workbooks, etc. For years we were Sonlighters, which means a ton of reading aloud to them and them reading on their own. As the boys have gotten older, though, they have lost interest in this. Every year is something different. That is one of the best things about homeschooling, getting to tailor their learning experience to suit their learning styles, personalities, desires, and our family dynamics.

It all goes back to the lifestyle of learning I keep trying to promote here - that all of life is learning, it doesn't all take place in the schoolroom, it doesn't all come from the pages of a textbook. God has so blessed us with this incredible world to explore, so many resources to choose from.......

And a lot of them are free.

Rambling thoughts

2011-02-15T08:13:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted anything for a week. Well, ah've bin bizzy.

It has been a good week, but there has just been a lot of "life" going on. Last week I crammed a church fellowship dinner, Super Bowl gathering at my home, one son's eye exam, another midweek fellowship, four sons' haircuts, my own haircut, 4 sons' physical checkups (and immunizations), a birthday, a breakfast out with a friend, lunch at Pizza Hut, roller skating, a youth lock-in and AWANA Bible quizzing into 7 days. I have to admit to being glad we got a bit of snow and I was able to re-schedule some fun for this week instead!

But this week we are back to normal, or at least "normal as it appears here". Yesterday was Valentine's Day, for anyone who didn't know that! Nevin brought me some beautiful roses

He also brought me a box of chocolate covered strawberries (he said he knew I was trying to eat healthy, and those are healthier than the box of chocolates I usually get from him - so thoughtful!). I'd post a picture of those, but the box is just about empty, and not terribly pretty right now!

Two of my sons made me cards. Joe's says, "My mom's the best cook ever," and has pictures of Doritos and Snicker bars taped to it. Not quite sure what to make of that, but I am going with the sentiment! Even my mom got me a card, and a pretty-wrapped Hershey bar. I ate the Hershey bar. I think I was supposed to eat it in little bites, but as I spent a large chunk of my afternoon on the phone with the Department of Revenue, discussing sales tax laws, I just put my head on the desk and swallowed it whole.

The birthday was nice - my 2nd son Ben is 11 now

Here he is with his Chocolate Covered Oreo Cookie cake, surrounded by homemade Oreo truffles. I think he had a good day. He ended up getting a lot of attention last week, as he also competed in the AWANA Bible Quizzing

He and his teammate tied for 4th place this year. It was VERY nice not to have to be at AWANA an hour early for quizzing practice Sunday - but in just a few weeks the practice will start for his older brother Tony's quizzing!

Today it is a glorious sunny day, supposed to get up to 55 degrees. We are going to do a bit of school, then we have friends coming over to watch West Side Story. This week we are going to Powell Symphony Hall in St. Louis for one of their educational concerts, and they will be playing excerpts from Romeo and Juliet and West Side Story. So, today we will have popcorn and soda and hang out and watch the movie. My yard is a muddy bog right now, so hopefully that will help when the boys start begging to quit watching the movie and go outside. We'll see how this plays out. Probably end up with the guys outside and the ladies and girls inside watching. Oh well, more popcorn for me!

Other than that, just a basic week. Some bookwork school, some "living life" school, midweek fellowship, probably hit some outside activities later in the week, and then a dinner out with grown-ups this Saturday night. So many things to look forward to.

This morning my 3rd son Joe was sitting with me in my chair (as he does most mornings - we are the early-risers here)

and we were discussing how to tell time, and watching the minute hand move from 7:00 a.m. to 7:01 a.m. I told him that time goes by so fast you don't even see it. He told me time was flying, and pretended to reach up and grab numbers as they flew past us.

Yep, time is flying, and sometimes in all the busy - even the really fun busy - I have to remind myself to stop and enjoy it, to focus on what God is doing all around us, and not to be frantically grabbing at the imaginary numbers as they fly by.

But right now I need to go feed people and educate them and pick up the house and feed the chickens! Praise God!

I wore blue jeans to church

2011-02-07T08:37:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I wore jeans to church. Levis, to be precise. I know a lot of people wear jeans to church. There were a lot of people AT church in jeans yesterday. My husband and sons wear jeans most Sundays. So, I wore jeans and who cares, right?

Well, I did half-expect the building to get hit by lightning when I walked in, so that could be a cause for concern.

I don't think I have EVER worn jeans to church. I don't mind that other people do. Maybe it is just an old-fashioned tradition. But I have always, since I was a child, "dressed up" for church. I have certainly worn slacks, but they were dress slacks. Growing up, I had "school clothes", "play clothes" and "dress clothes". As an adult, I worked in offices that ranged from "office dressy" (pencil skirts, pumps, usually a jacket) to "office casual" (slacks, Dockers, casual skirts with low-heel or flat shoes). But never jeans. I did once work in an office where we could wear jeans on Friday, but someone got crazy and wore tennis shoes and that was the end of that.

Anyway, I have always LIKED to get dressed up on Sunday. Especially now - I stay at home most days with the kiddos, and that means sweats. The days I go into town it is jeans and a t-shirt. When we go to any sort of event - it is jeans and whatever. Dress 'em up with a fancier shirt and shoes, but still jeans.

So this Sunday the parking lot at church still had a lot of ice on it, and I start thinking how ridiculous it is to try to find the right "dress shoes" to wear to walk across ice. I need to wear casual, comfortable flats (with some traction). Those usually don't look too hot with a dress. So I thought.....I guess I could wear jeans. I mentioned this to my husband. He said, "I don't see why not, lots of people do, why wouldn't you?" (It is funny sometimes how I can approach him with huge, life-changing issues and he seems oblivious to all that.)

Well, then, why wouldn't I? Hmmmm, I don't know. I like to think I always get dressed up as a sign of respect for church - that coming together to worship is worth getting dressed up for. But I meet with other Christians all the time, and I don't dress up then. We have fellowship every Wednesday night, with prayer, singing and Bible study, and I don't dress up for that, either.

Could it be vanity? A little pride slipping out? That is a sin that God convicts me of, over and over.

I watched a clip of Francis Chan a few weeks back, and he said he wore jeans on Sunday because he wore them every other day and he wanted to be the same person Sunday as the rest of the week. He didn't want to be a different person when he showed up for church. I know a lot of people who put on a "Sunday face" at church - we can all be nice and act like a Christian for 2 hours a week, right? Okay, digressing there...but think about it - if I am to carry who I am out of that church building and into the world, if my life is not to have "compartments" (I have used a lot of " " in this post!) where I seperate the secular from the holy, then why would my closet have these same compartments?

Just some meandering thoughts.

I will probably still wear skirts most of the time - mainly because I have a closet full of skirts and no where else to wear them! I think the chickens would wonder what I was up to if I showed up all decked out to fill their feeders, you know. And I just like them, especially when it gets warm outside.

But I don't HAVE to wear them. I can wear a skirt, and a pair of heels, because I enjoy it, and because I want to, not because I feel some legalistic compulsion to OR ELSE. I don't even feel the need to point out that they were new jeans, not particularily tight or immodest, or even bring up the safety issue of the ice on the parking lot. Okay, so I did just bring them up, but I didn't HAVE to. I am getting there.

Freedom.

The Closet Experiment

2011-02-04T08:58:00.000-06:00

In another attempt at "de-cluttering" I am trying out a closet experiment this year. I know that EVERY expert says that if you don't wear an item of clothing in "X" number of months or years, you need to get rid of it. While this does not apply in every case, I think a basic truth can be found here:

"If you don't wear it very often, get rid of it."

I am trying tho organize and simplify a lot of things in my life, and my clothing choices are part of that. I have been removing things from my closet a little at at time the last few years. Right now, I have a lot of clothes - besides half of a walk-in closet I have two huge tubs in the basement of things that are for spring/summer, things that have sentimental value (like sweatshirts my dad bought me, or t-shirts from events I want to remember), and things that are close to my current size but either just a little small or a little big.

A small glimpse into my side of the closet

But honestly, I don't wear a lot of it. Like so many women, I probably wear about 20% of what is in my closet regularly, have a few things that I like to wear when we go somewhere nice, and the rest is just a mass of clothing that I like but don't wear much for whatever reason.

So why not get rid of it?

Well, because some I may wear again. Some I spent $$$ on and hate to get rid of. Some doesn't fit but I like to think it will again. Some I just think is pretty, even if I know it doesn't flatter me, and it seems a waste to toss them.

Don't get me wrong - I have been removing quite a bit lately. Two weeks ago I took out SIX pairs of shoes that are in great shape, but that I simply never wear, never plan to wear, for whatever reason.

So - I have started an experiment. This year I put a "divider" in my closet and as I wear items, they are going to the left of the divider. What do I hope to learn from this? Which items are getting worn over and over, and which ones never see the light of day. This spring, when I switch out my closet, those items that are still unworn for the entire season may be heading out the door. At least they certainly SHOULD be.

Already, just five weeks into the new year, I see myself reaching for items on the left side of the closet out of habit. It is taking some thought and effort to look at the other clothes with fresh eyes. I did take tops and skirts and mix and match them around to come up with some new combinations, and that opened up a lot of possibilities. I hope to learn from this how few "things" I actually need (or even use) so that I can get rid of some of it easier, and have a better "game plan" for the future - to only buy things that I really love, or even better, to wear what I have and love, and NOT spend money on new things!

I am well on my way with the shoes portion of the closet, and the "blessing others" bag is getting full!

Next.....the bookshelves.....!

Reading log, January 2011

2011-02-02T15:39:00.000-06:00

Started the year in a bit of a rut - but it is a good one! As you can tell, I am thoroughly caught up in the Hamish Macbeth Mysteries. I like them - murders in small, quirky Scottish villages. Not much bad language, not much sex, and the murders aren't gory, usually just a blow to the head with a blunt object, or some craftily administered poison. Anyway, they are my escape late at night when everyone else has gone to bed!

I did also read an Anne Shirley book, just to keep things upbeat!

Books are rated 1-5, though if it is bad enough to be a 1 I generally don't finish it, and a 5 is just about life-changing! I do get lots of 3s and 4s.

1. Anne of Windy Poplars – 4.25 – L.M. Montgomery – Anne of Green Gables #4 Not as good as the first three, but still a good story. Made me wish I was more like Anne!

2. Death of a Charming Man: A Hamish Macbeth Mystery– 3.75 – M.C. Beaton – more adventures with Hamish. It was okay, not as good as the others.

3. Death of a Nag: A Hamish Macbeth Mystery – 4 – M.C. Beaton – better than the last one, a little bit of a trick ending.

4. Death of a Macho Man: A Hamish Macbeth Mystery – 4 – M.C. Beaton – good, easy adventure. Hamish starts to grow on you.

5. Death of a Dentist: A Hamish Macbeth Mystery – 4.25 M.C. Beaton – I really like Hamish.

6. Death of An Addict: A Hamish Macbeth Mystery – 4.25 – M.C. Beaton - one of the better ones

7. A Highland Christmas: A Hamish Macbeth Mystery – 4 – M.C. Beaton – a little too sweet

8. Death of a Dustman: A Hamish Macbeth Mystery – 4 – M.C. Beaton – I had a hard time keeping track of all the minor characters in this one

And what did YOU read last month??

Another snow day

2011-02-01T15:15:00.000-06:00

Another snow day! Or maybe a sleet day! Whatever you call it, it has been wonderful so far. Nevin stayed home, and he got to relax this morning while the boys and I did their schoolwork. I like having him here, because I stayed "on task" with school (since he could hear us!) and that was really good. I am so easily distracted. Anyway, back to the snow. We all had lunch, hung out a bit, now the guys are outside, sledding and 4-wheeling around the yard.

You say you want to see pictures?

Heading to the driveway on the 4-wheeler

The man and the machine

Ben hauling his sled back up the hill.....again!

It is really cold - I came back in. Hot cocoa is on the stove - Henry is already enjoying a cup of it. Later on there will be board games, and I think we will watch Groundhog Day (Bill Murray!) in honor of Groundhog Eve.

A perfect snowday....now, it does all need to melt tomorrow, though, because I really do have some things to do out in the world! But for today, this is good.

What to do, what to do.....

2011-01-28T08:39:00.001-06:00

I woke up a few hours ago, and I just did not feel so hot.

Ben has been sick for two days, said he was fine last night and when he got up this morning. After being awake about fifteen minutes, he realized he was still sick. Nevin also has been not feeling well, but as he would have to be in ICU to take off work, he is soldiering on.

This morning I woke up with a headache. My legs really hurt, too, but I think that is from the treadmill yesterday (walked up a really steep incline slowly for 30 minutes).

So, a dilemna. Today is our book club. Ben is definitely not going - he's got a date with Grandma's couch. I really don't feel like going, though I may feel better once I eat and get moving. The other three boys, however, really want to go. They aren't sick, and don't want to miss out.

Not sick, but are they carriers??

Yesterday I got a very funny phone call. I have a friend, I'll call her Lou. I love her because she says all the things the rest of us only think, and she has no hypocrisy in her - what you see is what you get. Sometimes she comes off as rude, but I don't think she means to be. Anyway, yesterday Lou calls because she heard Ben was sick. What she really wanted to know - and came right out and said - was:

What symptoms does he have?
When did it start?
Do the others have it?
Anyone coughing?
And...are you planning to come to the book club? Because her family has just been sick for a month and she does not want to expose the kids to anyone else who is sick because she CANNOT go through this again!

I just had to laugh. I mean really, how often do we look at someone elses' kid and wonder WHY did they bring that kid to this event? Do you think church/book club/playgroup cannot go on without you? I know I am certainly guilty of this. A couple months ago, we had a week where we were "in between" bouts of colds and coughing. And I took all the boys to chess club. About 15 minutes into a game I noticed that Joe has begin to cough, and his eyes have gone red, there are dark circles and they have sunk back into his head.

Maybe no one will notice.....

Anyway, even as I sit here and type, and as my third cup of coffee kicks in, I feel fine. My headache is gone (probably will address my body's addiction to caffeine in another post) and I feel fine. I think I will head out today. Ben, on the other hand, is still going to Grandma's. There is a vast difference between me having a headache and him being on the couch with a fever for two days.

There is also the possibility that I am trying to get out of baking cookies and going to the book club this afternoon, but I would never do that.....never.

So, we will plan on going. Tony is an "older student" so he does not have to do a book report - he gets to play on the fooseball table this afternoon - this explains why he is so insistent on going (Mom, you can just drop me and the cookies off if you don't feel like staying). Henry does not like "lots of people looking at me" so he probably won't do his report. Joe is doing his on the original story of Shrek by William Steig

I actually like the story book better than the movies. But that usually happens. I need to read over Joe's report today, he tends to like to put on a performance for groups, and needs some editing.

So, I have digressed from my headache, to a discussion of illness, when it is appropriate to take people out among others, the dangers of caffeine addiction, and how movies are never as good as the books. Meanwhile, though, I do feel better. Good enough to bake some cookies and head out. It is a beautiful day, and the fresh air will do us all good!

I need to add a disclaimer - NO ONE else is sick, no one is coughing, I don't think we are carriers of anything, and therefore I think it is okay to go out. In the event that anyone else would show any signs of being sick, we would stay home. I promise.

"Lord, make me a woman who loves."

2011-01-25T09:05:00.002-06:00

"Lord, make me a woman who loves."

This has been an ongoing prayer. I have always known that I am to love others, but I have been absolutely convicted for some time that I need to truly LOVE people - that this is a glaring sin in my life, and the Lord keeps bringing it right in front of me. I don't want to say, or even think, "...of course I love everyone, but there are some people that I just don't like," or any of that. I think that is a cop-out. I acknowledge that in practical terms there will be some people that I have more in common with, have mutual friends with, etc. And, I will probably spend more time in those peoples' company. I will even admit that there are some people who are difficult to be around - for various reasons. Is it okay to not hang around them? Sometimes, I think. If I am not able to respond to them in a Christ-like and loving manner, then maybe I should remove myself from the opportunity to sin. Does that give me a pass, though? NO. The fact that I cannot respond to someone in a loving manner is not a reflection on THEM - it is a reflection on ME. It is MY sin.

In every situation, I try to look at my role. Sometimes this is easy. Sometimes I can just note that I need repent and ask God to give me the supernatural ability to be more patient and loving. Often, I can see where I was quick to judge and criticize (even if I don't say it out loud).

Sometimes, though, it is difficult. When I feel like someone has wronged me - especially when dealing with someone who is being passive-aggressive, where you know they are digging at you, but it is being done so subtly that you really can't call them on it. That is the sort of thing that can feel like grit in your soul. But what is my role in this? Even if I did nothing to provoke it, I still have a role - my role is my response. Do I get angry, and then go on a vent against them? Do I turn it over (and over and over) in my head, sucking up my day with my grievances? Do I pray for God to "fix" them?

Or do I turn to my Savior, and beg Him to take this anger from me, and to replace it with love and compassion.

Honestly? Sometimes the former, sometimes the latter. But I want it to be the latter. I want my actions and my thoughts to be glorifying to God. You know what I really want? I want for it to not even be an issue - to be so filled with love for my brothers and sisters that I don't even see their wrongs. I want their "sandpaper" to rub me smooth.

I recognize that I am also sandpaper for others, but I am going to leave that for another post, on another day!

I am blessed to have a "slightly" older woman who holds me accountable. We are close in chronological age, but she is years ahead of me in her walk with the Lord. Last week during a prayer meeting she cried out to God to give her a heart to love people the way she should, the way He does. This has been my own prayer, and when I heard it spoken out loud it became like a searing flash across my heart. Oh Lord, how critical I am. How easily offended I can be. How impatient, and unloving. Lord, let me see others as you see them. As you have loved and forgiven me, let me love them. Give me a compassionate heart, instead of a critical one. Lord, if I see a brother or sister in sin, let me be grieved over it. Let me take it to You, let me intercede for them. Let me not tell others about it, or complain about it. God, if you lead me to confront them, let it be done in humility, in love, not in self-righteousness.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

If anyone says, "I love God" and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

1 John 4:7-12, 20-21 ESV

A final thought on goals (and I really mean it)!

2011-01-22T09:07:00.000-06:00

So, now a few weeks into it, and how am I doing????

1. To get back to my Weight Watchers goal weight and maintain it - I am 10 lbs over right now (yikes!).
I have been staying within my Points and weighing in each week - the last two weeks I was down. .6 pounds each week. This is good - as much as I'd like that 10 pounds to disappear immediately, I know that slow and steady is the way to go, and that will be easier to maintain.

2. Make getting all the schoolwork done a priority for the boys.
So far, so good. I have re-vamped our schedule a bit, revised my expectations some, and looked at what are the basics we need to accomplish each day.
3. Follow through with my Bible reading plan.
On track, making it my first priority each day. I am really blessed to see how Tony is staying on track with his, and making sure it is done each day. He sets aside time and goes by himself to study.

4. Have housework done before I play on computer.
I think someone else must have snuck that one in!

5. Exercise at least 3 times a week, besides my regular "on my feet all day" stuff.
Let's just say it is still a "goal", not an accomplishment. Getting better, though. I have found that if I do it first thing I seem to get more out of it.

6. Keep the school records current, so I don't have to face a month of stuff to log.
Doing better, everything is current up to Thursday of this past week, and I am finding time in the day to sit down and work on it.

7. Have more families over for fellowship at our house.
Have had people over this month, have plans for more, hosting the homeschool book club this week, tentative plans with some other moms and kids - this is really more of an ongoing goal, since we do have friends and family over frequently.

8. Stay with a regular cleaning schedule.
This is probably more what I mean by "housework before computer" - these two goals are basically the same! Back with the Flylady, though not quite as ambitious as she is. But we are doing better with putting things away when we get them out, at least!

9. Be consistent with the boys - in discipline, in chores, in everything!
I hadn't addressed this individually - I guess it doesn't need much explanation.

Okay, maybe it does.

I know that there are some who think that homeschool families fall into a form of idolatry with their children. Well, maybe some do, but I think you can see that in all kinds of families, no matter what form of education they choose. We do not idolize our children. However - our family is first God-centered, and then family-centered. And our family just happens to have a lot of young boys in it!

We have these children in our homes for such a short period of time. My oldest is almost 13, and when I think of how fast the last 13 years have gone by, and I look at only having another 5-6 years ahead to train him, I could go into full-blown panic. But, the Lord reminds me that this is HIS child, He has marked out Tony's days before the creation of the Earth. Nevin and I are to train Tony (and his brothers) up, to guide them, love them, instruct them, and then to let them go out into the world.

Back to the consistency - it is hard! Sometimes it is easier just to do the chore myself than to have to remind (remind, remind) others to do it, but then all they are learning is that if they turn a deaf ear and wait me out, they get out of work. Sometimes it is easier to say I am being "merciful" when I don't discipline them, when really, I am just being lazy. It is no fun to have to stop what I am doing and address someone's bad behavior. Especially when I am going to come out of it as the "bad mom" or even the "mean mom". Joe used to tell me that I was a "terrible mudder" when he was younger. Ah, the joys of motherhood....!

BUT - it needs to be done. There is no need to be rigid, but we need to be consistent. Consistent bedtimes, consistent waking up, a regular routine of school and chores, and then lots of time to relax, dream, read, play, build, and just follow our own little plans for the day. So this is another of those ongoing goals, and sometimes I do really well with it, and sometimes the whole system falls into chaos and anarchy.

And then I just ask the Lord for strength for another day, forgiveness for where I've fallen short, and get up and try again.

And now, just because Joe and Ben thought I should put some of their Lego designs on the internet, here are pictures of the ships they built the other day, as part of our Lego lapbook project!

Ben's boat, I believe that is a crab trap and the shark wants the crabs.

A little more detail, with additional endangered creatures being captured.

I mentioned to Joe that I didn't think a square boat would float, and he became very annoyed with me and my lack of vision.

Goal #7

2011-01-18T09:50:00.000-06:00

"Have more families over for fellowship at our house."

This is really not a difficult one at all. I do have people over all the time - but it is mainly moms and kids from our homeschool group. I really enjoy getting together for playdays, and we usually host things like the book club, board game days, etc. at our home. We don't have a big house, but it is pretty open and we have room upstairs and downstairs, so it seems like we can fit a lot of people. We do have a great yard, though - we are out in the country and have wooded acreage, plus the requisite trampoline, giant wooden playsets, tree fort, creek, etc.

As long as it isn't raining and we can make the kids eat outside, I am open to having lots of folks over. I think our max was 55 at the book club last September.

Where we fall short, however, is on having families (ie, dad too!) over in the evenings and on weekends. We are getting better, though. We had families over for 4th of July, we have been having a few families at a time over to eat, toast marshmallows, just hang out, watch football and we have both sides of our family over for Easter and Thanksgiving. I enjoy having people over - I hate to admit it, but if we never had company, my house would not get a good cleaning very regularly! Company always motivates me to vacuum under the furniture!

I have learned not to stress on the cleaning too much, though. I used to not have people over because it was so much work - super cleaning. Now I do want things picked up and tidy, but I am not insane about it. I don't have any hesitation to just make sure the bedroom doors are all closed. As long as it is picked up, and the bathrooms and kitchens are clean, we are good. When I go to someone's house, I am just delighted to be invited - I don't spend any time checking out baseboards. I assume others are the same. Let it be known, though - anyone who comes over and comments on my baseboards.....doesn't get invited back!

Keep it casual, keep it fun, don't stress out - get a set of folding chairs and a couple tables some time on sale and have a party!

Goal #6

2011-01-15T09:38:00.000-06:00

Keep the school records current, so I don't have to face a month of stuff to log.

Here in Missouri, homeschoolers have to record or "log" 1,000 hours of instruction per calendar year, broken out into core and electives.

I have no problem getting plenty of stuff done - as I've said before, we subscribe to a "learning lifestyle" so I look at everything we do as learning - not just those things done with a pencil and paper. The hard part is not the learning - it is the recording of the learning.

The things that I have on a "schedule" for them are easy - I plan each week, print a list for them of what we are going to do, and as it gets done I check it off. Then I just have to mark it complete in the computer and how much time we spent, and the Homeschool Tracker program does the rest.

But what about the time Ben spent yesterday in the library reading a DK book about WWII? Or the time Joe, Henry and Dad spent going through an I-Spy book last night? Some of the tv shows we watch are definitely educational. Ben has spent several hours this week assembling an approximately 4' tall skeleton out of duct tape (I am not joking) - is that science or art? So many things - okay, most things - don't involve sitting at a desk, and oftentimes we rabbit trail off to topics that don't seem to have any relation to what we set out to study. But yet, learning is happening. Just not the learning that I had on the list for that day!

I have considered giving the boys steno pads to write down what they are doing each day, but that seems like a "joy of learning killer", at least for them. I think I need to carry a steno pad around and write down everything they do. Actually, I know that is what I should do. I guess I could hang it from a chain around my neck or something...

Anyway, we always get in more hours than we need for state requirements, I just tend to stress myself out because I know I am missing so many things that we do. I guess it would be easier if I just sat them down at a table from 9 - 3 each day (with a break for lunch) and had them do a list of assignments. But that does not seem like much fun for any of us.

So, a system needs to be in place, but what that system will look like is uncertain. And as life is always changing, the system will need to change and be re-vamped frequently. For now, I should probably find myself a really attractive chain for the steno pad I will be wearing!

And here are a few examples of what learning looks like in our house:

Copy pictures of Missouri insects and then coloring and painting them - art/science

Doing a portrait like Picasso would, and a sculpture to match - more art!

Reading for fun!

Enjoying a science video with some friends

Goal #5...

2011-01-13T16:08:00.000-06:00

Exercise at least 3 times a week, besides my regular "on my feet all day" stuff.

Okay, this is a problem. I hate - can I say "hate" - exercising. I like to go for walks, but there are no roadways to walk on. We live in a rural area, no sidewalks, barely even a shoulder on the road. I really don't want my four sons to be walking down that road, probably wandering into the traffic lane, where cars come zooommmmiiinnng over the hill at you. We can hike through our woods, but you really can't do that every day. I have a very nice treadmill, but I don't feel like using it. I have started stacking my magazines on it. The idea is that I can ONLY read magazines while on the treadmill. So, I have a stack of new, unread magazines. This is really not working. I tried using an exercise dvd and the boys laughed at me.

Here's the deal. I am on my feet most of the day. I maintain the home, homeschool four kids, help with the business, care for the critters....I just don't feel like doing anything else. When I have down time I want to be down - to lay down and read a book, check the computer, etc.

But, I know that I should be doing this. It is good for me. It is really just such a low priority, though, that when I look at the things that NEED to be done (like, at least two loads of laundry every day!) that I want to get those things done and I (rapidly) lose any interest in exercise.

I don't like this goal. But I know it ties in with Goal #1, getting back to my Lifetime Weight Watchers weight.

I was down .6 today from last week, btw. Slow and steady wins the race!

Anyway. I just don't like doing it. I could go do it right now. I should. It would require me changing pants, putting on my shoes, putting up my hair. It would also require me getting off the computer.

Okay. I can do this. I will do this.

I am off to go do this. I'll tell you tomorrow how it went.

On to Goal #4

2011-01-12T08:12:00.000-06:00

Have housework done before I play on computer.

This is a stumbling block. I mean, housework never ends, right? Especially in a house where both the parents lean towards "cluttered", and there are four boys. And did I mention we homeschool, so they never leave. There is not that block of time while they are in school that I can be cleaning. I try to clean as we do school, or clean as I go. I will admit that our house is usually "okay" - as in, if I know someone is coming over I can pick up the kitchen and living room, wipe down the hall bath and get us presentable in about a half hour.

But woe is me if they open any bedroom doors!

I know how to clean. I even know how to maintain. A few years ago I signed up for Flylady

- Flylady has a complete system to get you on track by using "baby steps" - 15 minutes a day at first de-cluttering, setting up goals like shining your sink, taking care of "hot spots", keeping clutter under control. I usually sign up, get on the ball, then get incredibly overwhelmed with the emails (sometimes 20 a day!) and drop out. And then, my good habits start to drop away.

But today, I think I will sign up again. I need the reinforcement to do the small jobs throughout the day. I have a tendency to look at something that is a big job - like cleaning out the toy closet and tubs in the family room - and see such a huge project that it cannot be done and I give up. Or I'll be straightening my desk, and see how the baseboards are so dusty, and then I can't finish the desk because I stop to clean the baseboards. I am easily distracted.

Last night we watched the movie "Up", and I loved how the dogs would be in the middle of a sentence and then suddenly, "Squirrel!" and then they would come back to their focus. It is so like me, all day.

See, that is what I mean.

Anyway, today I am going to sign back up to be a Flybaby again. I really do like that system, I like the baby steps, the "15 minute" projects and zones each day. I can focus on those small chunks. And, as long as I focus on that, and not look at the huge overwhelming "clean the whole house-while doing school-and making food for fellowship tonight-and typing on blog-and whatever else I come up with" I can keep things under control.

I also want to clean out my closet today, but that may have to wait until we come to that "zone" again.

If you've never tried (or even heard of) Flylady I highly recommend checking it out. Even if the whole system doesn't work for you (it doesn't for me, either) there are probably parts that will.

I know I have not addressed the whole "before getting on the computer" thing. I mean before I get on it AGAIN, okay? I do check my email, etc. first thing in the morning, after Bible reading/devotion time, before kids overrun the house. But my goal is to not get back on and play until the school and housework is done for the day.

You may never hear from me again.......

Goal #3 from "the list"

2011-01-11T07:42:00.000-06:00

#3. Follow through with my Bible reading plan.

I have always done pretty well with having a time each day to spend in scripture. Sometimes I will go for periods where it is a lot of time, getting into some serious study. Others, it may be just a few chapters. I have always had the goal - and never accomplished it - of reading through the Bible in a year. I have tried various formulas and schedules, have tried using chronological Bibles, etc. I tend to get hung up around Leviticus, then at Job and the minor prophets.

This year, I am using the reading plan listed in the daily readings from Table Talk.

I started reading older copies of this last year that were set out on the table at church, and really enjoyed it. We have our OWN subscription this year. I am going to read the devotional study each day, and the chapters. It also includes some chapters and verses for further study, and I try to get those in each day, too. I like this because it goes through books of the Bible verse by verse, as opposed to being topical.

I have tried to do group or "organized" Bible studies in the past, and usually don't finish them. I have attempted various Beth Moore studies, and even Experiencing God. I find that I make it to the class, and I get a good start on the homework, but I just cannot get the 30-45 minutes worth of homework done each day. I really don't care for the flipping through the Bible, looking up verses and filling-in-the-blanks approach. So I get behind, then I have too much to finish....and then I don't get it done. Just the way my mind works, I guess!

When I find a topic that really interests me, say, baptism, I will look up all the scripture I can find on it, then I will often look up a few websites for their perspective, then move on to some Church history. I always want to know WHO did WHAT and WHEN. When did certain practices of the Church come into existence? Who made that decision, and based on what scripture? I find that helps me clarify in my own mind whether some doctrine is from scripture or added through mans' tradition.

And I just really like to study history.

This is the Bible that I have been using for study for the last few years:

and I also like to use this Bible dictionary, which was recommended by a pastor:

So, I tend to go in different directions at times, reading on a subject, chasing some rabbit trails through history and modern commentary.

I think however you decide to study is fine, I just want to encourage everyone to spend some time in the Word each and every day.

Goal #2 from "the list"

2011-01-10T21:51:00.000-06:00

Goal #2:
Make getting all the schoolwork done a priority for the boys.

Sometimes this is difficult. I make a schedule. Really, I do. But I have four rambunctious guys, who really have better things to do than sit around with schoolbooks.

I try to promote a "learning lifestyle" - everything we do is learning. It doesn't all come from books. Of course we have books - lots of them. We also have text books. We use those and workbooks in conjunction with math and grammar. We also do a lot of creative writing, reading together, watching videos. finding out stuff on our own, and we go on lots of field trips. I think so many lessons can't come from books - like how to get along with others, how to work, how to serve, how to create and invent. So, while we do hit the books in the morning and get that part "out of the way" (and yes, some homeschool kids do really see their schoolwork as something to just.get.done) we usually leave the afternoons open for some fun, or for them to just have time on their own to BE. To exist. To be human "beings", as opposed to human "doings".

I will admit that sometimes the drawback to being relaxed in our approach is that sometimes I don't feel like we are doing enough. I know we are, we get all our hours in every year. But I keep falling back into the idea that "school" is "bookwork". And I have to shake myself out of that and remember that "school" is "life".

And there is much more to life than textbooks and workbooks.

So really, this is an important goal - school needs to be their priority. But sometimes the definition of "school" needs to get revamped a bit.

And now, just because it is my blog and I can, I would like to share pictures from the spelling bee last week. Ben and Tony both competed. It was a very small bee, but we had fun.

Tony - he looked so huge up there on the stage!

Ben is in the back, there, with the other finalists. The winner from each grade went to the spell-off. He didn't place there, but I thought we did pretty good, considering we'd never even ATTENDED a spelling bee before!

Tony and Ben with their ribbons.

Dealing with those goals things..

2011-01-09T16:35:00.000-06:00

Even though my "organizational" goals are pretty humdrum, they do seem to be a humdrum that is common to most people. Therefore, they may be worth discussing a bit.

Goal #1 for 2011:
"To get back to my Weight Watchers goal weight and maintain it - I am 10 lbs over right now (yikes!)."

My journey with Weight Watchers has been humbling for me. After having four children in 6 1/2 years - all in my 30s, I might add - I was putting on some "mom weight". I was not overweight - still within WW guidelines for a healthy weight for my height (just barely, though). So, I joined WW in April of 2008, and was very gung ho. The weight just dropped off. I threw myself into it. I had had gestational diabetes with three of my pregnancies, so I was familiar with planning meals, counting starches, fats, etc. Weight Watchers is MUCH less restrictive than the diabetes diet I was on. My goal was to get to 140. I was at 152. Not a huge loss, but honestly, I did not think I could do it.

I really, really, really like to eat.

Anyway, I started losing and just kept going. I got down to - get this - 125. A skinny size 6. And boy, did I feel good about myself!

I maintained that for about a year, and then suddenly....well, I am not going to go into a lot of detail, but let's just say the changing hormone age hit me early and with a vengenance. And in one month I gained 5 lbs. THAT is discouraging! The next month I gained a few more. Then I reached the "what's the use!" stage and practiced the program sort of half-heartedly for the next year. I eat basically healthy, I usually track what I eat, etc., etc. But I quit going to the meetings. I know my portion sizes started creeping up again, and the ability to only have one cookie seemed to evaporate.

So right now, I am 11 lbs over goal - almost back where I started. I feel differently now, though, than I did three years ago. In 2008 I felt FAT. I felt dumpy, and dull. I don't feel that way now. I'd still definitely like to get back to my goal of 140, but I do not want to get back down to 125 again. I gave away all my 6's and told my friends that if I ever get that thin again it will be due to a wasting disease and I am just going to wear sweats in that situation! But basically, I feel good about myself. I know I've blogged before about turning 45, aging gracefully, and all that, so I am not going there again. My main focus is to get back to eating healthier. Now, by "healthier" I go with the idea of being "healthy enough". I get my daily requirements of fruits and veggies, protein, dairy and healthy oils. I take my vitamin supplement. I try to eat my daily requirements before I eat goodies. And I am limiting my sweets and fried foods. But I am limiting them - not eliminating them. That is one of the reasons I like WW so much - nothing is forbidden, but you have to think about the point value of say, a biscuit as compared to...well, just about anything else! Think about whether to have seconds on country fried steak. Balancing out each day. Be aware of portion sizes. Eat when I am hungry, not just because something is there.

It is harder now than even a couple years ago. And since I had my children "late" we are still in the kid stage - lots of activities that involve going out. We also really enjoying fellowshipping with others, and that always seems to include a meal. I won't give that up. I want to enjoy eating, and enjoy fellowshipping, and I refuse to be one of those people who picks apart all the food at a potluck. And, if I go to the WW meetings, and stick with the program, little by little I will get back to my goal weight. But the focus is on being "healthy enough" - not obsessing over my food, my weight, my size - getting enough exercise, being active, being able to work and play and serve and enjoy life. That doesn't seem like it should be too hard!

Goals, goals, goals...and Great Grandma

2011-01-07T15:38:00.000-06:00

I refuse to call them resolutions - I don't know why, maybe just because everyone else does, or because I want to join some of the backlash against resolutions!

I did force myself to sit down and make some goals for the year. I hate to admit it, but the things that most come to mind are goals of the "organizational" type. I feel like I have so many irons in the fire, and so many things going on, and I am so easily distracted that I have lots of things "sort of" completed. I go back and forth on things - for a while I will do really well with a very solid cleaning schedule, for example, but then I will get tired of having to be "regimented". Start talking in my head about freedom in Christ, that sort of thing.

I don't really believe that freedom in Christ = don't bother to clean house, but I can go on some tangents when it is just me and my head sometimes.

But here are the goals I came up:

1. To get back to my Weight Watchers goal weight and maintain it - I am 10 lbs over right now (yikes!).
2. Make getting all the schoolwork done a priority for the boys.
3. Follow through with my Bible reading plan.
4. Have housework done before I play on computer.
5. Exercise at least 3 times a week, besides my regular "on my feet all day" stuff.
6. Keep the school records current, so I don't have to face a month of stuff to log.
7. Have more families over for fellowship at our house.
8. Stay with a regular cleaning schedule.
9. Be consistent with the boys - in discipline, in chores, in everything!

Well, THAT is a dull list! Those don't even seem like they should be goals - those should be givens.

What is my real goal this year?

I wanna be more like Grandma.

This week we went to visit Nevin's Grandma K. She turns 96 today. In the 16 years we have been married, I have never heard this woman complain. Any time I'd see her she'd hold my hand and tell my about Otto, her husband who passed away about 15 years ago. I had only gotten to meet him once, after he had had a stroke, so I never knew the guy in the stories, and it sounds like I have really missed something there. Grandma always made a point of telling us how lucky she was. She had such good neighbors, she got to be in her own house, her children all came home to help her regularly. She is always encouraging, and always so happy to see us. She came to the United States with her parents and five siblings when she was 8 years old, in 1923, and has some fantastic stories about coming through Ellis Island, and how her parents had them learn English right away. She has always been close to her sisters and brother, all of them ending up living in the same area of Iowa.

But now she is the last of the siblings, and a few weeks before Christmas she told her children that it was time for her to leave her home. She just couldn't take care of herself anymore. So, she is now settled into a very nice, very "homey" home, where she is getting wonderful care. But still, she misses her house - she had lived there 70+ years, and raised all four of her children there.

You would think that this would be an opportunity to complain. But no. She just says she misses her house, but then she looks up and says, "They are so good to me in this place. The food is wonderful, they take care of me. They come to my room to get me every day, because I do everything that I am asked to." She participates in all the activities, is making friends with some of the other residents (though she did tell us one woman was not happy there...."I think that she thinks she is important," Grandma says matter-of-factly). She was so happy because her children would be there this weekend for her birthday - they were going to have it in the party room, which is very nice.

As we were driving back to the hotel, I was thinking over the "burdens" that I complain about. The people who rub me the wrong way, the things that don't go my way, the things I'd like to do and don't have time for, the things that need to be done that I don't want to do, having to eat where the kids want to eat...blah, blah, blah.

I have absolutely nothing to complain about. And even if I did, exactly what use is complaining?

Grandma doesn't talk a lot about her religion - she lives it. She is kind and gracious, she is pleasant. When she was younger and able she served her family and her community. And now, at 96, in a whole new place, she serves in a new way.

Grandma, with some flowers we brought. She was so delighted with such a simple thing.

Grandma with her grandson and four great-grandsons.

So this year, as I know that my real goal is to grow more like Christ, I also want that to look like Grandma, too.

Reading Log for December, 2010

2011-01-02T18:04:00.000-06:00

Good reading month - one of the best books I've read in a loooonnnng time - Extraordinary, Ordinary People by Condoleezza Rice.
This was truly a great book. She told the story of her family - ordinary people, many of them teachers or pastors, middle-class folks. She was born and lived the first part of her life (until high school) in Birmingham, Alabama. She was there during segregation, and recounts the effects. I will be honest, since that was before I was born, and let's face it, I'm not black, I have never really thought about it on a personal level. Condi tells about how she was brought up in a protected environment, her family and neighbors segregated themselves as well, and taught their children to excel - that they had to do everything twice as good, just to be acceptable. It is mindboggling to think of the Secretary of State not being allowed to use certain restrooms or eat a hamburger in a city in the United States. This book really changed how I look at things like affirmative action. Can you imagine that Bull Conner closed all the public swimming pools in Birmingham, instead of allowing African-Americans to use them? Condi simply tells the story of how they lived, how her parents sacrificed so much for her to be educated and have opportunities. The book goes up to December, 2000, when her father died (her mother had died several years before). At first I thought that was a shame, because I wanted to read about her time in the Bush administration, but that is probably a different book. This is about her parents and her family - extraordinary people.
And, for the rest of the list:

197. An Expert In Murder: A Josephine Tey Mystery – 3.5 – Nicola Upson – no where near as good as I was expecting – so much detail about the various characters’ lives, and way too much coincidence for me.

98. The Relaxed Home Schooler – 4– Mary Hood, Ph.D. – a nice, short book, extolling the virtues of relaxed homeschooling, and unschooling. Made me feel better.

99. Decision Points – 4.5 – George W. Bush – very good, much better than I expected. I felt like I really got to know him. He discussed his decions that had to be made, starting with his decision to marry Laura and to quit drinking. He did not go into huge detail about his extended family (I hate autobiographies that start 4 generations back in the Old Country) but discussed his parents and how he was raised. You could really feel the love and admiration he has for his parents. The book was fairly fast-paced. He explained how he made all his major decisions as President, where he got his information and what were deciding factors for him. He noted where he made mistakes and his regrets, yet did not blame anyone else. Definitely not a critical, tell-all book. If you are looking for dishes of dirt on Washington, this is NOT the book for you.

100. Death of a Glutton – 4.5 – M.C. Beaton – more fun with Hamish. A pretty good one.

101. Death of a Travelling Man – 4.75 – M.C. Beaton – one of the better Hamish mysteries.

102. The Wolves of Andover – 4 – Kathleen Kent – I originally gave this a 5, as it was fast-paced and a real page turner. But then I thought about it some more. The book was not as good as The Heretic’s Daughter. What made it so fascinating? I hate to admit it – the book was full of vulgar characters, and gruesome details of death and torture. So, if I were to take out all the “lurid” details, would the story still stand? Not really. The background story (Thomas Carrier is Thomas Morgan, the man who is rumored to be the executioner of King Charles I) is still interesting, but the characters were never really fleshed out in my mind – just their darker sides. So, I have to take it off the list of favorites of the year. Because of the violence and crudeness, I probably would not recommend it to most of my friends.

103. Queen of the Castle: 52 weeks of encouragement for the uninspired, domestically challenged or just plain tired homemaker – 4.5 – Lynn Bowen Walker – a weekly devotional, covering topics like housework, schedules, holidays, family vacations, etc. I tried to read it every Sunday morning. Lots of encouragement, some chocolate recipes, done from a Christian perspective. I am going to read it again this year, too.

104. Extraordinary, Ordinary People – 5 – Condoleezza Rice - see review above

And that is it! I don't have any real reading goals, other than to try to read a good mix, not waste my time on anything I am not enjoying, and I do try to hit 100.

Didn't We Just Do This??

2010-12-31T08:23:00.000-06:00

Last week I shared a crazy day, the central point of which was taking my youngest son Henry to Urgent Care with an ear infection.

Yesterday, it was my oldest son, Tony. He managed to not have a common ear infection, though. He has a circular pneumonia on his left lung. I am going to have to google that to know exactly what that means, but I know a few things it means:

$112 worth of antibiotics, which took almost two hours to have filled because of the precise amounts of dosage and the times the two are administered. Several phone calls were made between the pharmacy and the doctor, while four hungry boys sat in the waiting area at Schnucks. I must note, they behaved much better than some of the adults who were in line and complaining about the wait, their insurance, etc.

And......

His very first chest x-ray! We got a bit of a scare, because the doctor wanted him to go to the hospital and have a CT scan to make sure it was pneumonia (What else could it be? I did not even want to know.). But, the radiologist at the hospital said it looked like pneumonia, and to treat it as such.

So now I need to call his regular doctor and get an appointment for late next week to follow up and see how he is doing. I dread going to the regular doctor, because it is so hard to get an appointment, but hopefully if I call a week in advance I can get in!

All in all, the boys were really troopers through the whole event. For four boys to not fight and be reasonably patient through a couple hours in a doctor office and then a couple hours in a pharmacy is pretty good. While we were at the doctor's I left my two middle boys, ages 7 and 10, in the waiting area and just kept coming back to peek at them. They were either talking, playing their DSs or reading medical brochures. I saw other children whose parents were right there in the room climbing on the furniture, etc. I was proud of my guys.

While the boys were behaving so well, I was getting really, really tired and really, really cranky. I'd left the house at 8:00 a.m. worked all morning, had a lovely breakfast with my friend Faith (I am so glad -thinking back over our conversation that morning got me through the afternoon!) ran some errands, took all the boys for haircuts (I know, he had pneumonia but that is not excuse for poor grooming!) and then the Urgent Care adventure began. While we were waiting for our prescription I was listening to a lady who was really rude to the pharmacists. They had problems with her insurance, needed more info, etc. and she was getting snotty. "Well, isn't that YOU'RE job to call them? Well, can't YOU take care of that?" This reluctance to make a phone call from a woman who was sitting there with her cell phone out the entire time. I watched her and thought, "Yep, that is how you sound too, sometimes - don't judge, learn!" Everyone can be a lesson - some teach me what to do, some teach me what NOT to do.

After all that, we ate carryout for dinner. I felt mildly guilty. I bought a couple fried chickens at the Schnucks deli (actually pretty good), made instant mashed potatoes, microwaved a bag of frozen brussel sprouts and had applesauce. Not a great meal, but no one cared. Tony got both his medications down, which is pretty amazing from a guy who can take an hour to ingest 2 tsp. of Tylenol. Now we just pray for healing, administer antibiotics and move on.

More chicken stuff

2010-12-29T14:16:00.000-06:00

Today the Hardy Concords are heading outdoors!
Maybe.

Today I decided to let the "chicks" go outside. They were born 10/13, and have never been outside. They lived in a nice warm cage in the garage for a while, and now they are in their own house, but while they were on chick food we kept them in. Then it got really cold, etc. But now, they are pretty big, and it is time to venture into the world.
They are not enthusiastic.

These are the older hens - they love to be outside scratching around, as long as it isn't snowy or rainy.

I tossed some bread into their run, trying to stir up some interest. Got a little bit going, but still not quite sure what they are supposed to do.

Here's the whole flock of them inside, all trying to look out at once and see what is going on.

Okay, we can do it....maybe!

They kept taking turns going out, looking and going back in. I swept the snow off the ramp, hoping to encourage them. I am going to go back outside in a bit and see how they are doing.

I have had a lot of computer work to do today, and I need frequent chicken breaks to keep my spirits up!

2010-12-29T09:35:00.000-06:00

It was so nice yesterday to get up and see blue skies and sunshine on the snow. I am not really a winter person. I used to be, but now I think I am a spring/fall girl. I don't like to be hot, but now that I have to take care of the chickens all winter, I am not too crazy about cold, either. As long as it isn't freezing I am fine, but when there are all the details and complications of freezing chicken water/heated waterers, frozen hoses, etc. it is just a pain to deal with.

But, for now, as it is warming up and the snow is turning to mud in our yard, I think I am going to look at the pictures I took yesterday, of a sunny, snowy day.

The view from the front porch - it all looks different with the blue sky behind it!

Chickens don't like snow. I had to get in the house and chase them out, and even at that, as soon as I got out of the house most of them ran back in. These ladies are White Leghorns (like Foghorn Leghorn). When we first started raising chickens I was informed that "Leghorn" is pronounced "Leg-ern".

Don't the henhouses look pretty in the sunshine!

And the view off our back deck. Please note that the turkey next to the tree in the center, and the deer in the lower left-hand corner are not real - those are targets.

Right now I am finishing up the school schedule for the next few weeks, and I have to do some cabinet drawings today. But while I do these computer chores I am thinking over schedules, priorities, organization and redeeming the time. I will post some of those thoughts later this week, as they all begin to jell.

And now, for something a little different

2010-12-25T12:52:00.000-06:00

This year we decided to do something a little different for Christmas. Usually Nevin takes the boys out one at a time to buy gifts for each other and me, and I take the boys out (en masse) to buy gifts for Nevin. This has worked well for a few years, but we still find ourselves with a lot of gifts that are nice, but really, we don't need.

Actually, we don't NEED anything. We have more than everything we need - and we have pretty much everything we could possibly want as well.

But there are so many in the world who don't even have clean water, a way to support themselves, or even a Bible. So this year, we cut back quite a bit. We asked each boy what one thing they would really like. We got them each that one thing, and then we picked out a smaller item as well, and another small gift and some candy for the stocking. We did not buy anything for each other (okay, Nevin did get me a box of chocolates, he knows the ways to keep me happy!). The boys did not select anything for us or each other.

Instead, on Christmas Eve, we looked at the Christmas Catalog put out by Gospel for Asia. Nevin checked into their ministry, and read the book Revolution in World Missions by K. P. Yohannan

(note - this is the book that has been handed out for free at The Greater St. Louis Homeschool Expo the last few years - and is available free at GFA's website). One of the things that is different about this ministry is that the missionaries are not people sent to India from the United States or Europe - they are indigenous people, who have been discipled and trained to carry the gospel to their own countrymen. They are also ministering to some of the poorest of the poor in the world. Where $10 in our home will buy a small Lego set (that Ben can assemble in about 5 minutes), through Gospel for Asia it can buy a mosquito net, to protect a child from the biting insects that carry malaria.

With the kids, we looked all through the online catalog, and asked them what they would like to buy with their own money. This is a new twist, also, because in the past they have "selected" gifts for the brothers and parents, which we then paid for. This time, they were using their own money. They kicked in $10-11 each ( the equivalent of two weeks' allowance for Tony and Ben, but 10 weeks' for Joe and Henry). Nevin and I also put in what we would have spent on each other. Together, for relatively little money, our family bought a pair of chicks, a pair of rabbits, a mosquito net, gospel tracts, VBS materials, a tool kit and a bicycle for a missionary. Life-changing things for these people, with money that would have gone for nice, but unneccessary, items for ourselves.

This is not to toot our own horn, by the way - I want to share this because it was so easy, and yet so worthwhile. So often we look for ways to help, ways to support missions (if you don't go yourself, you need to support those who do), we have a desire to do "something", but that "something" can be elusive. This was something that anyone can do - it is a good start.

Nevin and I have been reading Radical by David Platt, and it is really giving us pause, and causing us to re-think what is important. What is enough.

What is too much.

But more on that later. For now, Merry Christmas. The traditional pictures of our over-indulged children will be posted tomorrow. For today, we will bask in the glow of the day, prepare a Taco Fiesta for dinner, and a chocolate cake with buttercream frosting to celebrate the birth of Christ.

A New Day, A Snow Day

2010-12-24T08:47:00.000-06:00

I woke up to the snow that I had been praying so hard NOT to get....and once again I see where God provides what I don't even know that I need or want.

Last night I went to bed grumpy - the kids had been snuffling around for days, and all they had done all day was watch movies on ABC Family Channel (which should change its' name, but that is for another rant). Joe was the exception - he felt fine, and had no brothers to play with, so by bedtime he was literally bouncing off the walls.

All I could think about was, "Please no snow. Please, everyone well. I want to go to Christmas Eve service. I want to go out to eat. I want to drive around and look at lights. I want my mom and stepfather to be able to come over for dinner Saturday. Please. No snow."

Sometimes I think God must just shake his head in wonder at our lack of vision, our silly little plans.

I woke up this morning to a text from Nevin, with a picture of a snowy field. He is sitting in a tree with a bow, drinking coffee and enjoying the snow, hoping a deer will wander by.

The boys got up, looked out side, and immediately became quite well enough to go outside. Surely, no one is too sick to play in the snow! It is a miraculous cure! They are still a little snuffly and coughing, but the weather didn't cause it, and it won't hurt, especially if I fill them up with warm, homemade cocoa when they come in.

I asked, "If you are well enough to go outside, are you well enough to go to church tonight?" They say they are. Henry says he is definitely well enough to go out to eat!

So, whether or not we can get out tonight, we'll leave up to God. If not, I have plenty of food for dinner, snacks to celebrate Christmas Eve, things to do, and I am going to do a little bit more baking today. I am sure Mom and Dave will be able to make it over tomorrow, and if not, the food will keep and we will certainly be able to enjoy time together on Sunday instead.

"Therefore do not be anxious about tmorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matt 6:34 ESV

And now, some pictures of our country winter wonderland!

The view from my front porch - the fire pit, playset and garden look much prettier than they did yesterday!

Our chicken condominium complex. Chickens don't particularily care for the snow, so they are all inside where it is warm and dry

And the view off our back deck. We live in a cleared spot in the middle of the forest, so yes, there are trees in every direction.

Sweet Potato Biscuits

2010-12-23T13:42:00.000-06:00

I made these the other night and they are WONDERFUL - soft, with a wonderful flavor and just a little bit of sweetness - not sweet like cake or cookies, but not plain like regular white biscuits.

This comes from The Gooseberry Patch Country Baking cookbook, which I received at the homeschool mom party (Thanks, Shelley!).

3/4 cup sweet potatoes, cooked, peeled, mashed and chilled
1 stick butter, melted and cooled
1/4 cup brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup milk
2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder

In a large bowl, combine the sweet potatoes, butter and brown sugar. Stir in the mil and blend until smooth. Sift together dry ingredients and add to sweet potato mixture. Turn dough onto a lightly floured counter and knead 2 minutes. With floured rolling pin, roll dough until 1/2" thick. Cut out with a 2" round cutter. Place biscuits one inch apart on a lightly greased cookie sheet (I used parchment paper). Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes or until light brown. Makes about 1 1/2 dozen biscuits.

With 18 biscuits, I calculated the WW PointsPlus value (new program) at 3 points each - and well worth it!

A Father's Advice

2010-12-23T11:54:00.000-06:00

This is another daily reading from On This Day: 365 Amazing and Inspiring Stories About Saints, Martyrs and Heroes by Robert J. Morgan.

December 23 - A Father's Advice

Heinrich Bullinger was a good pastor and a better father. He was born in 1504 to a priest who embraced Reformation views. Young Heinrich loved Luther's writings, Melanchthon's books, and the study of the Bible. At the age of 27, he took the place of slain Swiss Reformer Ulrich Zwingli as pastor of the Grossmunster of Zurich, on December 23, 1531.
     Bullinger continued Zwingli's practice of preaching through the books of the Bible, verse by verse. His home was open from morning till night, and he freely distributed food, clothing, and money to the needy. His wisdom and influence spread across Europe.
     No one was more affected than his own son, Henry. When the young man packed his bags and set out for college in Strasburg, Heinrich gave him ten rules for living:

1.     Fear God at all times, and remember that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
2.     Humble yourself before God, and pray to him alone through Christ, our only Mediator and Advocate.
3.     Believe firmly that God has done all for our salvation through his Son.
4.     Pray above all things for a strong faith active in love.
5.     Pray that God may protect your good name and keep you from sin, sickness, and bad company.
6.     Pray for the fatherland, for your dear parents...for the spread of the Word of God.
7.     Be reticent, be always more will to hear than to speak, and do not meddle with things you do not understand.
8.     Study diligently...Read daily three chapters of the Bible.
9.     Keep your body clean and unspotted, be neat in your dress, and avoid above all things intemperance in eating and drinking.
10.    Let you conversation be decent, cheerful, moderate.

     This advice was taken; and Henry Bullinger became, like his father and grandfather, a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Parents, don't be hard on your children. Raise them properly. Teach them and instruct them about the Lord. Ephesians 6:4 CEV

A Little Snapshot of This Life

2010-12-22T17:17:00.000-06:00

This day (okay, this last week or so!) very little has gone according to plan. But, I am trying to be flexible here, find the joy in everything, yada yada yada.

So, just to prove that I am too flexible, I will share my day. It has been the most amazing cycle of up and down.

I woke up this morning with my now-familiar head full of mucus. Stumbled out for my cup of coffee and my Bible. In Psalms today. Got everyone up, got dressed, fed the chickens, loaded the car. Printed up some more Christmas cards to get in the mail today. Dropped kids off at Grandma's house, then on to the shop.

Paperwork, pay some bills, enter some bills, type some contracts, bring the bulk of the work home to finish. My wonderful friend Joette came by with some yummy homemade snack mix, a gift for the boys and THIS incredible scarf she made for me!

These pictures do not do it justice - it is sort of oatmeal, with the smallest amounts of rose, blue and purple running through it. It is SO SOFT - I wore it all day and got several compliments!

Head out to pick up my Mary Kay order from a friend. Ran to Bread Co. where I was meeting a Homemade Gourmet consultant, and picked up some BLT Dip mix from her for a gift for another friend. As long as I was at the Bread Co. I got a tasty Asian Chicken salad, and a free coffee and free chocolate croissant. The MyPanera Rewards card is gold, you must get one! Back to the shop, dropping off Christmas cards at post office. Not the cards I brought to do today - they still aren't done. These are the ones I did last night.

Ate lunch at the shop. Should not have eaten so fast, ended up with upset tummy. Cleaned up and off to Schnucks. Called friend Angel on the way, because I have her Mary Kay, too. She said she'd meet me at Schnucks.

Nevin calls while I am on my way to Schnucks - in the event that we get snowed in Christmas Eve, we need to make sure we have staples - cheese, sausage, crackers, popcorn, etc. Mentally add that to my list. Meet up with Angel in Schnucks, who immediately compliments me on my scarf. I just love her!! Go and get all the last-minute goodies, as well as a cart-load of OTC cold products.

While I am standing in the checkout, the lady in front of me loses the button off her coat. Everyone gets down on the floor, trying to find it, though it appears to have rolled under the soda machine. Finally, I am checking out - ooops, forgot tortillas for our Christmas Day Taco Fiesta! The bagger says to go get them so off I sprint through Schnucks. I pass three people I know, and pretend not to see them because I must RUN. I am sure I look silly, but I cannot stop myself. Get back, hand off tortillas. Look over and see Angel laughing at me. She has been sitting and smiling, and watching people check out. She says she could just watch that all day. Apparently, there are a lot of funny things going on in the checkout lines besides me. There is some reassurance in that.

We head out to the car, give her her Mary Kay and we wave goodbye.

Now, drop the BLT mix off at my friend Mandy's house, to give to another friend for me. We are supposed to be going there for fellowship and Bible study tonight, but with sick kids, we are staying home. She gives me little bags of Christmas candy for each of the boys. Do I have great friends or what?

Then, finally to Grandma's! And......Henry is laying on the couch. When he sees me, he starts crying and says his ear hurts. Oh boy. Get Henry up, confirm other boys can hang out with Grandma a little while longer, and then back into town to Urgent Care.

As an aside - this was my first visit to Urgent Care, and I love it. We had to pay a $40 co-pay, and they had us in and out within an hour. If I had even managed to get a doctor appointment with our pediatrician for today (doubtful) we would have been there minimum two hours, plus we have not met our deductible, so it would have cost us about $95.

Anyway, dashed to The Apothecary at the hospital (so much faster and easier than Walgreens or Walmart!) and got the prescription filled, pick up other boys and BACK HOME!

I have done some laundry, finished a very good murder mystery, drank some tea, eaten some of Joette's marvelous snack mix, and now I am ready to go work on dinner (venison tenderloin, with bacon and mushrooms, yum!) and prepare for the return of Nevin to our home for the evening.

And I didn't yell at anyone all day - even the lady who had us all on the floor looking for her coat button.

Tomorrow will be much quieter, I'm sure!

Now THAT Was A Party!

2010-12-21T10:06:00.000-06:00

Last night I attended the annual Twin City Home Educators Mom's Christmas Party.

Is was, indeed, the party-to-end-all parties.

Fourteen of us braved the cold, dark night to drive wayyyyy out to Suzy's farm. Okay, so it wasn't that cold, and some were very familiar with the road, but for those of us who had only been there once before (last year's party) and who have nightblindness (didn't mention that to the women riding with me) finding a mailbox on the side of a country road can be an adventure!

All was well until we came to the gate. We knew we were in the right place, vividly remembered coming down the hill and over the little bridge last year. But yet we sat in the middle of the drive, staring at this closed gate, wondering what to do. Why would a gate be closed on the night of a party? Were we in the right driveway? We could see the lights of the carriage house through the trees, this must be it. For whatever reason, three grown women could not decide to open the gate. So we started making calls. Susan, in her most patient voice, said, "Just get out and open the gate, it is closed so the animals don't escape." Oh. About that time another car pulled in behind us, so Elizabeth hopped out and opened the gate, we all drove through, she closed the gate and we headed to the party! We were not, btw, the only ones to face uncertainty at the gate. Angel got to the gate, couldn't get anyone to answer their cells, and turned around and started for home. We managed to persuade her to come back and spend the evening with us, to everyones' benefit. I had to call Betty and tell her I had given her poor directions. But, we all made it to the carriage house.

The carriage house is like stepping into a Christmas card - it is rustic and charming, beautifully decorated with country antiques. Every luxury, from coffee to an assortment of teas and cocoas was assembled. No detail forgotten, down to the bowl of marshmallows by the cocoa.

We all brought food, and we laughed and ate. You would think we were starving from the cheers that went up when Debi arrived carrying the boxes from Pizza Hut! Never was a pizza guy so greeted!

After we ate, we had a time of devotion and prayer. So many joys were shared, so many concerns. As homeschool moms, so much of the focus on any of our gathering is our children. Prayer requests for sons in the military, those leaving for new duty stations, for adult children and their families, for direction with children at home, prayers for young mothers with small children, for our husbands, our friends, for those who could not be with us. Praises sang out for Debi, who announced at the party two years ago that she had breast cancer. Yep, the same Debi who after chemo, surgery, and reconstruction was bringing us pizza. And with a full head of her own hair, at that. For Lettie, who will "bring forth" her third son next week (and yes, there were jokes about her being "great with child"). And a wonderful reading from Sheila, from her blog, Sheila's Dots and Daisies.

And then, after we cried out to the Lord....we open presents. I always think this is funny, to go from meaningful readings and prayer to a raucous game of stealing, shaking and occasionally sniffing wrapped gifts. But last night I saw it for what it was. We come together, these sisters, in prayer, in sorrow, in joy, and most especially, in laughter. The fun of stealing a certain wrapped package and seeing the games that are played, the strategies worthy of Survivor, to get a box that has appealed to you - with no idea what is inside. And then, at the end, for everyone to declare they got the most perfect gift for them.

I got a beautiful baking cookbook - tell me God was not at the party with us last night!

After the game, more snacks, more coffee. I so enjoyed watching the ladies move about from group to group. No one was left out. Friends who had not seen each other in a year quickly caught up. A small group was laughing out loud...a few feet away two women were hugging and there were tears..I got to spend an hour in conversation with my dear friend who also has four boys, and whose steps I follow in so many ways. I watched a younger mom just looking at everyone and taking it all in, and I remember the first few years that I was in this group. I watched the "old timers" who had been there for more than a decade already, and I saw their interactions, heard their stories, and knew that this was a place I wanted to belong.

And I do. From the very first night, when Anita was talking about cooking the natural way in relation to learning problems and Debi was discussing the price of wheat grinders (to grind your own wheat for flour, can you imagine!) and Betty was nursing Connor, I knew that this was the place for me. Some faces have changed over the years, some have moved, gone on as their children have grown up. We have some mothers in our group whose own mothers and mother-in-laws are also in the group - I pray that someday I will be sitting in the group with my daughter-in-laws, listening to them wonder how to teach math to one, reading to another and keep the baby occupied at the same time. And we will share how we did it. How we do it. With much prayer, with God's mercy on our endeavor. Wavering, but always coming back to the vision that God placed on us.

I got home about 2:30 a.m. I was unable to sleep (3 cups of coffee after 11 p.m. will do that to you). I looked over the pictures that were taken, laughed again at the ones of the mom modeling the bright pink Snuggie she received as a gift (I did promise not to post those pictures, so you will just have to use your imagination). And I looked at our group shot - another year, so many of the same faces, newer faces as well. And I thought of those regulars from the group that could not be there this night because of things that could not be changed; family obligations, or illness. I missed them.

For many of us, this is a night that we try to never miss, for whom this night is a "night of all nights" - one to look forward to all year, one of the highlights of the Christmas season. I am one of these. I am so thankful for a husband who understands this need, for sons who don't fuss about being handed a pizza and being told to put their own pepperoni on - because it is Mom's night, and she is heading out to the Homeschool Mom Christmas Party.

The "W" Word

2010-12-17T08:08:00.001-06:00

Walmart. There, I said it.

Can I come right out and say that I really, really hate to go to Walmart? I know some people love it - practically live there. They love the one-stop shopping, lower prices, overall convenience. I know this. I have no deep-seated philosophical, moral, or political convictions against going there. I know they buy so much from China (as do so many other retailers, though), that they don't pay their employees well (but that level of retail really doesn't pay well), and there is just something creepy about such a huge corporation. I read a book a year or two ago The Walmart Effect, which detailed how Walmart has affected different economies, even the environment of areas that provide their goods. It is incredible how far-reaching it is.

Still, I am shallow enough that while this lingers in the back of my mind, it is not enough to keep me away.

I don't know what has created this repulsion that I feel - maybe it is the lighting? Or having to walk 1/2 mile from the toothpaste to the toilet paper? Or that if I take the kids in with me I am going to end up standing in the Lego aisle telling them I want to leave NOW and no, you are NOT going to spend $12 for a set you can put together in 5 minutes and I don't care if you DID bring your own money.

Can I show how really shallow I am by saying that while I know I am called to love everyone, I really have a hard time with the people who are wearing their PAJAMAS and slippers in Walmart. There, now you know!

But today, I am faced with a choice. I have a church fellowship tonight, a family Christmas tomorrow, and a homeschool mom Christmas party on Monday. All of these events involve me bringing finger foods.

I have just a few things I need to make my life complete. I need:

black and color printer cartridges, so that I can print up the Christmas cards
envelopes for the Christmas cards
some sort of decorative containers for Christmas cookies
disposable bread pans for pumpkin bread and pound cake
some gift cards
gift bags
a couple craft things for projects that I think I will have time to wrap up this weekend
some art supplies to round out gifts to our nieces
several small, but necessary, ingredients for the preconceived "finger food" list I have prepared

Now, I could go to Metro Office Suppy - a locally-owned store - for the printer cartridges and envelopes, and probably even the paper/art supplies. Buying those items there, instead of Walmart, could reasonably cost me $10-15 more. Walmart really has them on printer cartridges, at least in my limited experience.

I could then head over to Schnucks, my very favorite grocery store, to pick up the groceries I need, and the disposable pans, and probably find something to put the cookies in. I can get the gift cards there, too. This is going to cost me about $10 more, by my estimate.

Still left with craft items, I could always try Joann's and probably find what I need, though still at a higher price. And I really don't like going in there, either. There are never enough cashiers and they give me a hard time about the educator discount. If I can't find the art supplies at Metro (an iffy proposition) I should be able to get them at Joanns, but they will be at a premium. Not certain of the price difference, but I know that in the past when I have bought things there and then compared them, they were definitely higher than Walmart.

Some of these items (like the gift bags) could also be purchased at Dollar Tree.

There is always a chance Walmart won't have something I need (I am thinking the right size envelopes could be problematic) and that I will still have to go someplace else. But, it is a pretty slim chance.

So, therein lies my dilemma. I will also note that we are expecting a HIGH of 28 degrees Fahrenheit today, so I am going to be driving around and hopping in and out of a cold car. And I also only have about 2 hours to do this in, as I am dropping the boys off at my mom's house and don't expect her to make them lunch today. Extra time, extra gas, extra money.....all to buy products that are manufactured overseas, no matter if I purchase them from Walmart or Metro.

But there probably won't be anyone in their pajamas in Metro Office Supply.....

Planning,etc.

2010-12-16T11:50:00.000-06:00

Plans are all awry again today! Last night while we were at our Bible study/fellowship it began to rain. Just a soft, drizzly sort of rain.

Which hit the pavement, which had endured single-digit temperatures the last few days. And then it turned into a solid sheet of ice.

Last night was not too bad for us. Four cars left the fellowship, caravanning out into the wild winter. The first car got stuck on the hill. The other three cars stopped, so all the men could go out and determine what was to be done. While the men were out, I was texting back and forth with my friend Mandy. We had all just been at Mandy's home, and she was suggesting that we all might want to come back and camp out for the night.

I started texting her updates on what the guys were doing, and as each car made it up and over the hill and out of her subdivision, and she was texting me that she was praying for us. Everyone made it home safe and sound. Everyone should have Mandy praying for them!

This morning we awoke to a world that looked fine, and prepared our plans for the day. Those looks were deceptive, though. Outside there is a thin layer of ice all over the road, the yard, walks, etc. Within 1/4 mile of my house there were 5 cars off the road this morning. A tow truck showed up to pull one out, and was promptly hit by another car. So the tow truck left. Our road was to be closed, but the news we got was the both state troopers who were coming out to close the road ended up in ditches along the way. We live in a little dip in the road - on either side of the hills the roads are clear enough to travel, but our section is impassible.

Sooooo, plans for the day - I was going to do school and then take the boys in to town for haircuts, and run a few errands. Instead, we had a big breakfast - homemade waffles, bacon, omelets. Now Nevin and the boys are camped out around the fire, with books and the Wii. I have been baking cookies, and will soon move onto breads and pound cakes for Christmas gifts. Get some laundry done, maybe a little housework, watch a movie together. I am going to fix a nice meatloaf for dinner. All is well in our icy world. There is no use to fret about the cabinets that aren't being delivered today, or the errands that aren't being run. Might as well take this day as a gift from God.

So nice to have a time, even if it is forced, to slow down and reflect on God's mercy on us today.

And I'm Not Particularily Artistic, Either!

2010-12-14T08:54:00.000-06:00

With our study of St. Nicholas last week, I had the boys do some coloring pages of him. I have found that it really helps them to concentrate if they have something to do with their hands while I am reading out loud.

Now that I had all these really nice pictures, I needed to find a use for them - voila!

The Christmas Card!

Please note, I am not one to cut and glue, and make decorative cards. This is all strictly from the scanner and cut and paste on Printmaster. But, they did turn out pretty good, if I do say so myself!

The front of the card, with artwork by Tony

The center, with Ben and Joe's pictures

For those who don't care to squint, the left-center reads:

"Nicholas was Bishop of Myra, in the 4th Century. He suffered persecution under the Roman Emperor Diocletian, including imprisonment. Tales of his generosity were widespread, and from this man the legend of Santa Claus arose.

The significance of Nicholas for us today is that his response to God's great love for us in Jesus was to care for other poeple. His kindness and care for children are modeled every time we give a gift out of love.

God gave us the greatest gift we could ever imagine: He gave us a Savior, Jesus Christ. We celebrate his birth, but eventually He would die for the sins of the world.

Jesus is the real gift of of Christmas."

And the back, with a picture done by Henry

Now, if I can just get them printed, pick up the envelopes, get them addressed and the pictures of the boys inserted....every great plan has its' share of obstacles!

I'm So Not Laura Ingalls Wilder

2010-12-13T09:37:00.000-06:00

I love Laura Ingalls Wilder. I grew up reading the Little House books over and over (and over and over and over). As an adult, I have enjoyed her other writings, especially her columns for The Ruralist newspaper, and I have moved into Rose Wilder Lane's works as well.

She had always had responsibilities with her family's animals. Especially in Little Town on the Prairie she talks about feeding the animals, moving the calves, etc. In her later years, after she moved to Missouri, Laura became well-known in her community for her chickens. Laura wrote and spoke about her flocks, how to care for them, what to do to get the best egg production, etc. I always imagined I'd be like Laura, gathering eggs in my apron while the sun shined down on my flock.

It has not happened exactly that way.

Yesterday I wandered out into a blizzard (not quite The Long Winter, but close!) to feed the chickens. First, I berated myself for having been too a)lazy b)unorganized c)distracted to have set up the heated waterers. We have waterers that plug in and will keep the water from freezing. Marvelous devices, which Laura did not have. Only problem, you have to plug them in. I am afraid of electricity. All those cords and connectors in the henhouse, plus a big tub of water, make me anxious. Nevin has told me that there is not enough current to kill me if I stuck it in my ear, but I am not going to test his theory.

Anyway, being "a", "b" and "c" yesterday morning, I went out to feed the chickens in my bright purple pajamas (I didn't want to have to get dressed twice) with the dancing penguins pattern. They were a gift from my sons. Anyway, I put on the snow boots, my coat, couldn't find my gloves (see "b" above) and headed out. The hoses are no longer hooked up, so I had to carry the waterers to the hose bib, hold the valve open with one hand and the 5 gallon water with the other. Amazingly enough, I didn't get the base back on the way I should, so as I walked to the henhouse and turned the waterer over, the base came off and 5 gallons of water ran down both the legs of my purple penguin pajamas.

How refreshing!

So, back to the hose, mumbling unkind things about chickens and poultry in general.

But it was done, grumbling aside. Today both houses have heated water and food. I believe the hens are happy (or at least happier than they were). And I feel like a pioneer, forged from rugged stock, taming the land and the animals.

Clean Socks and a Servant Heart

2010-12-11T08:41:00.001-06:00

What exactly is a "servant heart"? This blog post really got me thinking about it this morning Everyday Ordinary Dawnings.

In our homes, are we teaching our children to be servants, or is it "every man for himself"? How do we respond to cries of unfairness, why should I have to clean up HIS mess? I know that my standard response is that I have to clean up messes I don't make all day long, so why shouldn't everyone.

True, but perhaps not the best response. It may be "fair" or equitable, in the interest of keeping all these equal. But all things aren't equal. We are called to serve each other in love. Not in maintaining a proper balance of who owes who.

I joke about being the only lady in a house with five men. Some days I get to be the princess. Many days I am the serving wench. That is actually a pretty good representation of my life. But - is that the correct attitude? It is funny, but is it correct?

Having a servant heart means serving without thought of what I am getting back. It means being the helpmeet that my husband needs - serving his actual needs, not just what I think I want to do, or what he should need, or even what I read in a book (written by a woman) about how I should serve him. It means serving my children gladly. In serving them with a glad heart, I can set an example of service to them. If I holler, "Who left this here? Do you think I am your servant?" this is not setting much of an example.

My husband just came in to get ready for work and commented that he has no clean socks. Ouch. That is a need he has. I guess I could go on about how busy I have been lately (though I have had time to blog and facebook, so there you go), or about how many pairs of socks he and the boys go through, or about all the things I need to do today. Or even suggest that perhaps after working at the shop all day he can be a modern fellow and take on 50% of the housework (maybe I can make a chart on Excel for him!).

Or I can just admit that I fell short there - I blew it. Laundry has piled up and I missed getting the whites done. And he did not speak harshly to me, he did not complain or grumble. He just noted that he doesn't have any socks.

And he set an example for me. He mentioned it gently, and now I really want to rectify this, to make sure that he has socks and his needs are met. If he would have snapped at me, "Can't a guy who works all day get a pair of clean socks? How much time are you on the computer, anyway?" I would probably be less inclined to go do his laundry with a smile. Would this gentle approach work better with my sons, as well?

Wouldn't hurt to try!

December 10, 1985

2010-12-10T09:27:00.001-06:00

On December 10, 1985 I was hanging out in the living room of the Zeta Tau Alpha house at Central Missouri State University. It was finals week, everyone was finishing up and heading home. There was a major snow storm going on, and we were all just sort of hunkered down and studying.

Then the phone rang.

One of my sisters called me to the phone. My mom was on the line. My father and brother had been in a serious car accident and they did not expect my father to live. Come home now.

I was five hours away, and did not have a car at college. As a zombie, I told everyone what was going on. The Zetas jumped into action. Several girls started packing my bags (I overheard one say to be sure and send home things for the whole Christmas break, including something nice for a funeral.). Others got on the phone with the buses and trains, to see what was moving. Another helpful soul handed me my smokes (I was a chain smoker for many years) and another handed me a Seven and Seven. That was how I coped with things then.

My aunt got me a plane ticket. One of my sisters called her boyfriend and another of his friends who were stationed at Whiteman Air Force Base. They came and picked us up and drove us through the storm to the Kansas City airport. I remember exactly what I was wearing - skinny, ankle-length jeans, white Keds (no socks), a ZTA t shirt and my brand new, sapphire blue coat that my father had bought for me a few weeks before.

Mom had just kept telling me my brother was fine, but went into great detail about my dad. I came all the way home that night thinking that my brother was dead and that no one would tell me. He actually was fine, physically, though.

I could never have recognized my dad. He had a severe head injury. He was driving his Corvette (Daddy always had a Corvette) along the Outer Road in Arnold, by Fox Chase Apartments. That is where my mom lived. He had just picked up my brother and was on his way home.

An oncoming car decided to pass the car in front of him, came into Dad's lane and hit him. Daddy tried to get out the way, and his side of the car apparently took the full brunt of the impact. My brother said that he closed his eyes at the impact and when he opened them the whole front of the 'Vette was gone. I never saw the car, but friends went to the impound and saw it, and said they could not believe anyone came out alive.

Daddy ended up in a permanent vegetative state for the next 7 1/2 years, until he died on July 24, 1993.

He was 42 years old at the time of the accident. It is so hard to believe that I am older than he was then. He was so young.

The story I tell is that I dropped out of college and came home to take care of him. That is patently false. What really happened is that I completely fell apart. I had no coping mechanism whatsoever. I had long since abandoned the God of my childhood. I had placed my faith at an early age in a short prayer and walk up an aisle, and that action did not save me. Nor did it sustain me. I was already a mess at the age of 20 - drinking, smoking, and the lifestyle that went with it. I also was filled with a rage at the young man who had hit my father. I knew his name and where he lived, and entertained fantasies of knocking on the door and letting him know just what he had done.

It didn't get better. I believe I had a death wish, as I continually put myself into situations with dangerous people. I didn't care. My image of God was wrapped up in my image of my father, and that was gone, and so was any vestige of God.

And then it got worse.

I meant for this to be a memorial to my Dad, but I cannot tell any story any more without including my testimony, as it is the greatest story of my life - the story of how Christ gave His grace to a despairing, desolate sinner and saved her.

In June of 1993 I could not live one more second feeling the way I felt. The shame, the guilt, the loneliness, the despair was too much. But, being a coward, I could not actually do myself in. I remember that Monday morning (though I don't recall the exact date) of being face down on the floor of my bedroom and crying and sobbing to God to PLEASE do SOMETHING and I can't go one.

And He did. He saved me. I heard Him. He said to get up. He told me to get help. He even told me where.

And I did. And my life changed instantly and dramatically in that one second when God reached down and plucked me off the path to Hell. I even managed to forgive the man who hit him.

On July 24, 1993 my daddy passed away, at the age of 49, of complications from pneumonia.

The funeral was actually anti-climactic, after the events of December of 1985. He is buried in Jefferson Barracks. Brother Richard Adams did the funeral service. Daddy's hunting buddies were all there, and were his pallbearers. Over the years I have heard stories about his friends, who came and sat at that nursing home with him for years. When I was not faithful, when I could not force myself to do the small things I should have done, those men sat by his bedside. I thank God for them - Denny T., Dan K., Bob McK., Dave H., John Z. and others. For his sister Terry, who made sure everyone knew EXACTLY who they were caring for. For those who carried the load that I could not. For Ken R., who took care of all the legal and financial aspects of our lives, and who saved my life more times than he can ever know.

And now, the pictures of Daddy:

Me and Daddy, March 1970. He was 26 and I was 4. This is our house on Frisco Street.

Da Nang, 1968

Probably around 1977 or 78, at our house in Arnold. Daddy was always on a softball team. I spent a whole lot of my childhood in ballparks.

Daddy and Dave H., after a successful hunt, probably not long before the accident.

This is one of my favorite pictures of him - it really captures his spirit. This was just a few years before his accident.

I wish I had some pictures of him holding his four grandsons. I am prone to get very blue this time of year, as all the memories - and all my regrets - come flooding back. I try to cherish and enjoy the memories I have of him, and know that I am forgiven for how I failed him. I miss him every single day. He was a larger-than-life character, the sort of person whose presence filled the room. He has left a void in a lot of lives.

Jim Politte
January 29, 1944 - July 24, 1993

Be Who God Made You to Be

2010-12-09T09:16:00.001-06:00

This quote comes from The Chloe Chronicles, a blog I follow:

...it's never too late or...too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit; stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same... We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

Do you hear that, friends? You can be whoever you want. I am not talking about tossing the kids and family aside because you really want to be an astronaut or something. This is about being yourself - whoever that may be. Whoever God in His sovereignty created you to be - not being trapped in whatever image or expectations other people have put on you. Or even the ones you have made up in your own head, that you just THINK others expect. I mean it - maybe no one has actually SAID that you must do thus-and-such, but you are just assuming that they are spending their valuable time worrying about how you live. Chew on that for a few minutes and get back to me.

Who are you? Are you comfortable with who you are? Are you in the relationship with God that you want? Are you following His leading in all aspects of your life? Do you have sin in your life that you are not willing to face, to repent of, to be forgiven for? Is change that scary?

Are you willing to face your doubts and insecurities? Are you willing to tell someone how you truly feel, even if could get uncomfortable? How about share a struggle, even if it might make you look bad? Are you too embarassed to tell someone that you love them?

Do you sing praises with gusto, even if you aren't much of a singer? How about lifting your hands in worship, even when you are alone?

What about when there is someone else who will see?

Are you learning the things that you want to learn - be it a new art form, a skill, a topic of study? If not - why not?

Are you meeting new people, engaging new ideas (even with people of other denominations or political persuasions - oooh, scary!), stretching your mind, learning about ideas that conflict with your own, so that you can come out stronger on the other side?

Do you dress the way you are comfortable, listen to the music you enjoy, eat the foods you like, read the books that challenge you, parent your children as God leads you - or are you following the leading of some other (fallible) person that you think knows better than you? I am not talking about issues of obvious sin - of course we want to be influenced by those who are living Godly, serving lives, who set an example for us. That is different. But do you let someone else set up extra-Biblical, legalistic boundaries for you to live in?

Do you have a "church" face, and a "family" face, and even an "extended family" face? It is not nice to make faces, you know!

Are you putting on a show for others, because you have an image that you want to project - are you trying to convince people that you are something you are not? Why? Aren't you good enough?

Do you let the opinions of others shape you to where you don't even recognize your own God-designed shape anymore?

For whatever reason, God has laid these thoughts on my heart today. I am asking myself these questions. You are just getting to hear me think out loud.